Reporter Issue 42/Horoscopes

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Reporter Issue 42
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  • Issue Number: 42
  • Issue Date: 238002.22
  • Editor: FltAdml. Tristan Wolf

Reporter Archive Index

For the Month of February

Written by: All-Seeing, All-Knowing Adler Wong-Aquiss

Aries (Mar. 21- April 20)

A good time to reflect. Beware of Orion raiders and anonymous subspace messages. Double-check the transporter coordinates!

Taurus (Apr. 21- may 21)

Your leadership skills will save you after the Gong of Good Fortune is struck, but don't give in to temptations of Wrigley's. Forgive old grudges.

Gemini (May 22-June 21)

A quick trip to Sickbay will fix you right up, unless you're angry at a Leo! A very close friend offers financial advice today -- set your phaser to stun.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

A loved one is about to go on a long trip. Warp engines could use a double-check. Safeguard your retinal scan.

Leo (July 23-Aug 22)

Telepathic contact with a mind far superior to your own may have key to life's greatest mystery. Beware the number 5. An old promise is remembered.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 23)

Important business comes near the end of the day. Keep away from holodecks until all debts are paid. A family matter will be settled.

Libra (Sept. 24 -Oct. 23)

That strange buzzing in your head needs more than a doctor. Embrace mutations. A lost item will be found in the least likely place.

Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22)

A very good night tonight for romance; take a loved one out to a dinner and skydive on the holodeck. Stay away from Ferengi.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21)

A supernova will play havoc with communicators. Good day to boost your energy level. Try jogging, tennis, or maybe even targ-wrestling.

Capricorn (Dec 22.- Jan. 20)

Invite an old friend in for tea, even if he is omnipotent. I mean, honestly, Jean-Luc, would it kill you to give me a smile?

Aquarius (Jan. 21 -Feb. 19)

The replicator will never work right if you don't fix it properly, so what a great excuse to go out! Get that scar removed and make a fresh start.

Pisces (Feb. 20-Mar. 20)

Negative energy will result in a disastrous exchange with an Andorian - don't stare at tentacles. A lover has secrets.