SIM:Lael Rosek - Loss (Gorkon)

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Lieutenant Junior Grade Lael Rosek
HCO Officer
Starbase 118
USS Gorkon NCC 82293
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((Mindirra Mountain Range, Ski Resort, Palanon))

Lael stared at the holophotos longingly, her thoughts turning immediately to Jax. She closed her eyes, picturing his face...the sound of his little squeaky voice saying La, her nostalgic mind morphing the sound into "ma"...the wonderful warmth of his arms around her neck, hugging her close. She had to fight back tears as it all came to her clear as day. Thank God the ship had survived. Within her quarters on her console were the only physical memories she had of him...countless holovideos and images of the little boy at various stages of his first year.::
She played the videos over and over, staring at the holophotos for hours on end. There was a particular image that she carried with her at all times on a PADD. In it, she held the just-turned-one-year-old boy who had his arms wrapped around her neck. Her head was thrown back in laughter, the child's smile infectious. Beside them stood Jansen, wearing the grin of a proud father. Though Jax was his other 'verse son, he had treated the boy with the same loving patience she was certain he would have displayed with their children. Jansen's arm was wrapped around her waist, his other hand splaying lovingly atop hers at the middle of Jax's back. The sound of Dassa's voice startled her from her reverie.::

Alexander: ::murmurs:: Are you okay?

Rosek: ::exhales and shrugs, smiling wanly:: Yeah. I'm good.

Alexander: If you need a moment...

Rosek: ::pauses, to the group at large:: If you'll excuse me for a minute, I think I'd like to get some air.

Without waiting for a reply, she stood and headed in the direction of a nearby thicket of trees. A voice behind her caught her attention and she turned.::

Skyfire: You're not okay, so don't try tellin' me ye are. Ah'm not buyin' it.

Rosek: ::sighs and hugs herself:: It's complicated.

Skyfire: Ah'm a good listener, Lael. Ye should know that by now.

Rosek: ::exhales heavily:: Yes. I know. I just... ::swallows roughly:: I miss Jax so much. I miss them. For all his pig-headed stubborness, I love Jansen. I've never stopped. Through all the hell and nearly dying, I knew it would be all right because I had him. ::bites her lip as the tears threaten to spill over:: Now that I'm without him...I'm not sure what to do. There's days where it's easy to laugh and to forget, if just for a moment. Then there's other days... ::rasps:: where I want nothing more than to lock myself in my quarters, burrow under the covers, and pretend it's all just some awful nightmare. Losing makes...over there...seem like paradise.

Skyfire: Response

-- ​PNPC LtJG Lael Rosek HCO/Engineering Officer USS Gorkon I238110RH0

​As simmed by Dassa Alexander​