SIM:Lael Rosek - Newest Crewmember Part II (Gorkon)
"Newest Crewmember, Part I"
|Lieutenant Lael Rosek
USS Gorkon NCC 82293
"Newest Crewmember, Part III"
((Flashback--Two Weeks Earlier, Cont’d))
((Rosek’s Quarters, USS Gorkon))
Orrey: ::pointing to the chair across the table from him.:: Why do you think the nightmare changed?
Rosek: ::grimaces:: After learning the truth of what you were going to say that day, I feel like I betrayed you and the guilt is almost more than I can bear. You really were very good to me and at the first sign of anxiety, I pushed you away...like usual. Keeping you physically close, but always pushing you away emotionally. ::sighs:: I was happy when you asked me to marry you. ::grins wryly:: But then, I started overthinking it. Instead of trusting my heart, I let my head convince me that I wasn’t good enough...that you’d see that one day and walk away and I’d be alone. I let my fear talk me out of what was the best thing to ever happen to me.
Orrey: ::smiling as he drinks his tea.:: Avoiding the question. But alright what does your counselor say?
Rosek: ::smiles wanly:: What I’m best at, right? ::pauses:: I haven’t told him about the nightmares in detail. Especially not this last one. I came straight to you. ::murmurs:: You were the first person I thought of. I can’t explain it...but I had to be sure you were safe. ::pauses:: And to answer your question, I’m not sure. I realize that I feel guilty for both things...immensely so. I guess the emotions are so closely related that my brain was just trying to put a face on it… ::blushes:: And I was thinking about how I’d hurt you before I feel asleep, so...
Orrey: Well okay. First off. Stop feeling guilty about us.
Rosek: ::grins wryly:: Easier said than done. But I’ll try.
Orrey: I mean it. We are fine. What happened has happened. Secondly, the counselor can't begin to help you if you aren't completely honest with them.
Rosek: ::averts her gaze and murmurs:: I know. ::her gaze meets his:: But I want you to help me. I trust you more than anyone. Since that first day in Sickbay… ::smiles wanly:: I trusted you in ways that I'd never trusted anyone.
Orrey: ::sitting back and looking at her for a moment.:: Alright, but on one condition..
Rosek:::smiles and jokes:: No more broken noses or bones?
Orrey: Take responsibility.
Rosek: ::her gaze drops to the tea in her hands and she nods:: I've realized I need to, yes. It's the only way I can absolve myself of the guilt surrounding Abby’s death.
Orrey: Then you already know how to stop the nightmares.
Rosek: ::pauses:: I suppose I've known for awhile. ::grimaces:: Since it happened I guess. Maybe part of the reason why I reacted the way that I did...I was scared that I would eventually betray you like I did her. And I couldn't stand the thought of hurting you like that. ::grins wryly:: What do they call that? Self-fulfilling prophesy?
Orrey: Life isn't black or white. ::He finishes his tea.::
Rosek: ::laughs humorlessly:: Yeah, well...All I can do is try not to let my choices decide my future I guess… ::grimaces:: Though facing this mess again...having to relive the nightmare....
Orrey: Maybe. Or maybe given the hell we were in, it may not be so bad.
Rosek: ::sighs:: Of all the stunts I've pulled in my lifetime, this is by far the stupidest… ::motions between them:: Punching you in the nose being a close second. ::pauses:: I didn't do any permanent damage, did I?
Orrey: No. You didn't I was patched up by the time I was reassigned.
Rosek: ::smiles wanly:: I'm glad. ::pauses:: I forget my own strength sometimes...and Mukhol can be deadly if applied the right way. ::jerks her head toward his leg:: You have enough issues without me compounding them.
Orrey: It will take more than an angry you to put me down….my reputation took a bigger hit than I did.
Rosek: ::grimaces:: Yeah. I should have put a stop to those crazy rumors...even if I did nothing to propagate them.
Orrey: ::shrugs:: It bothers me less than you think. If people want to gossip about me to form opinions rather than my record. That is their fault.
Rosek: ::sighs:: I wish they'd find something more interesting to talk about, though. ::grimaces:: Now there's a rumor circulating that I'm sleeping with Dassa to get back at you. ::shakes her head:: Ridiculous childish nonsense.
Orrey: Meh, if that's what they want to say let them.They don't know me if they think that would actually bother me.
Rosek: ::pauses:: I don't think that's the point. I think they're making assumptions based on Dassa and I's past relationship. ::blushes:: Might have to kill Michael or Anjar. They're the only other people who knew about it.
Orrey: Some people you just can't trust with information like that.
Rosek: ::murmurs:: More than likely Michael. He still blames me for what happened to Abby. He was going to ask her to marry him.
Orrey: Then you need to talk to him too. Because being petty is no way to remember someone.
Rosek: ::grouses:: Do all you counselors have scripts for every occasion or something? Can't tell you how many times I've heard something similar.
Orrey: If people acted how they were supposed to it wouldn't be so predictable.
Rosek: ::chuckles:: Predictable is the last word I'd use to describe you. Never could be sure what you'd say or do next. Kept me on my toes. Stable, maybe. But not predictable.
Orrey: I'm not who I was talking about.
:: Lael nodded solemnly and grasped the pendant hanging around her neck. ::
:: Jansen tipped his head to the side looking at the pendant slightly before nodding toward her wrists. ::
Orrey: New ink?
:: Lael smiled shyly and released the pendant, holding both of her wrists out for him to see. ::
Orrey: ‘Trust’ and ‘Love’ hmm?
Rosek: ::nods:: A lesson that I learned the hard way. ::holds them together:: They go hand in hand.
Orrey: A good lesson then yes. Always a good idea to make it easier to remember the important things.
:: Lael’s gaze dropped to her right wrist and she fingered the delicate script. ::
Rosek: And in Romulan… ::her gaze locks with his:: To remind me who taught it to me.
Orrey: Anyone can become a good teacher. I've learned countless things from some unbelievable people.
Rosek: ::nods:: True. But some leave a more lasting impact than others. My world changed from the moment you entered it.
Orrey: ::smiling.::Only because I made you talk and didn't just keep drugging you up.
Rosek: More than that… ::smiles:: You listened.
Orrey: ::waving his hand to dismiss the notion.:: Is best way to treat friends.
:: Lael paused, kissing Jansen’s cheek and murmuring into his ear. ::
Rosek: You always were a very good friend.
Orrey: ::Jansen smiled a little.:: We are very good friends, feel better with your nightmare addressed?
Rosek: ::smirks:: Yes. We are. And yes. Much better. ::grasps his hand in hers and squeezes it:: Thank you.
Orrey: ::he returned the squeeze and stood.:: Good. I will let you get back to your warm bed then. I need to call Earth and talk to someone.
Rosek: ::smiles:: Okay. And I’ll limit my pestering you to the daytime hours in the future.
Orrey: ::shaking his head.:: It's always tea time somewhere.
Rosek: ::laughs:: As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I wouldn’t want to give anyone around here the wrong idea. The rumor mill is already vicious enough.
Rosek: ::smirks:: I’m almost tempted to say we give them the show they’re looking for...but I know you’re not the type to play those kinds of games.
Orrey: I really don't care what they have to say, if you or anyone else needs an ear, you know my address.
:: Lael nodded. He never had. To be honest, neither did she. She’d learned a long time ago that all listening to gossip ever did was lead to trouble. If she got pissed over everything they said about her, half the crew would be in Sickbay on a regular basis. ::
Rosek: ::murmurs:: And you know mine...if you ever need someone to talk to.
:: Jansen nodded and put their cups together to be cleaned and put back with the set before he led the way to the door. ::
Orrey: Have a good evening Lael.
Rosek: ::squeezes his hand one last time:: Temar mnekha, Jansen.
:: She turned and exited his quarters, headed for her own. ::
:: Jansen closed and secured his door again smiling some. He was glad to help her relax. Her use of Romulan was interesting to him, if only in that the short clipped pronunciation was indicative of the official lessons that had come out of the core worlds of the empire. ::
Lieutenant Junior Grade Jansen Orrey M.D.