Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

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The Ferengi are a humanoid race obsessed with the accumulation of wealth. Their culture traditionally requires males to relentlessly seek profit while females are left naked and submissive. While recent reforms led first by Grand Nagus Zek and then his successor Grand Nagus Rom have begun challenging these traditions on the Ferengi homeworld for greater rights between the sexes, the Ferengi remain renowned throughout the galaxy for their shrewd business practices.

The Ferengi have 285 Rules of Acquisition, a set of business-related proverbs that all educated Ferengi know by heart. These rules are often heard quoted by Ferengi and non-Ferengi alike as a guide to "good" trading.

Known Rules of Acquisition

Rules or portions of rules in italics are from the book Legends of the Ferengi by DS9 writers Ira Steven Behr and Robert Hewitt Wolfe.
Number Rule
1 Once you have their money, you never give it back.
2 Time is latinum
3 Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
7 Keep your ears open.
8 Small print leads to large risk.
9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10 Greed is eternal.
13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
16 A deal is a deal ...until a better one comes along.
17 A contract is a contract is a contract ...but only between Ferengi.
18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
21 Never place friendship above profit.
22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
23 Nothing is more important than your health ... except for your money.
27 There is nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
31 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. Insult something he cares about instead.
33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34 War is good for business.
35 Peace is good for business.
40 She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.
41 Profit is its own reward.
44 Never confuse wisdom with luck.
45 Expand or die.
47 Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
48 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
52 Never ask when you can take.
57 Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.
58 There is no substitute for success.
59 Free advice is seldom cheap.
60 Keep your lies consistent.
62 The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
63 Always know when to retreat
65 Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff.
74 Knowledge equals profit.
75 Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
76 Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
79 Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
82 The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
85 Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
89 Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
94 Females and finances don't mix.
95 Expand or die. (Reiterated for emphasis.)
97 Enough... is never enough.
98 Every man has his price.
99 Trust is the biggest liability of all.
102 Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
103 Sleep can interfere with-
104 Faith moves mountains... of inventory.
106 There is no honor in poverty.
109 Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
111 Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them.
112 Never have sex with the boss's sister.
113 Always have sex with the boss.
121 Everything is for sale, even friendship.
123 Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
125 You can't make a deal if you're dead.
139 Wives serve, brothers inherit.
141 Only fools pay retail.
144 There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
162 Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
168 Whisper your way to success.
177 Know your enemies... but do business with them always.
181 Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
190 Hear all, trust nothing.
192 Never cheat a Klingon... unless you can get away with it.
194 It's always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
202 The justification for profit is profit.
203 New customers are like razor-toothed gree-worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
208 Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
211 Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
214 Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
217 You can't free a fish from water.
218 Always know what you're buying.
223 Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
229 Latinum lasts longer than lust.
236 You can't buy fate.
239 Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
242 More is good. All is better.
255 A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant a necessity.
261 A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
263 Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
266 When in doubt, lie.
284 Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
285 No good deed ever goes unpunished.
286 When Morn leaves, it's all over.
299 After you've exploited someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them next time.
The unwritten rule When no appropriate rule applies, make one up.
Unknown A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.