SIM:Greyson Fear: Difference between revisions

((Counseling Suite))<br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Carter entered the room and had a seat at the desk across from the good counselor. Their first meeting in Ten-Forward had been totally awkward, but somehow he couldn’t get around the fact this counseling session was probably going to be similarly awkward. oO This is to deal with the tactical console and request to transfer to engineering, not the fact you think she’s hot. Oo <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />Greyson: Counselor.<br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Raissa looked up, surprise briefly crossed her expression before she masked it. She was so lost in her thoughts surrounding recent events she actually hadn’t heard him enter the room. She forced a smile, she remember seeing him on the bridge during the situation with the Mercury. He had been tense but had handled it. She could only hope that her own pitiful performance up there wouldn’t affect how he viewed her ability as a counselor. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />Moonsong: Ah, Mr...uh…. Greyson. Thank you for coming. <nowiki>::</nowiki>she rose from her desk and gestured to the two comfortable chairs to the side:: Why don’t we sit over there? I find it much easier to talk without a desk between people.<br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> He nodded and got up to have a seat in one of the comfier chairs, taking a breath to relax himself. Unlike his roomie Chythar, he actually seemed to relax fairly easily. Probably because he didn’t have anything to distract him, like weird unusual abilities. Although, he couldn’t help pausing to admire her beauty for a couple of seconds. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Raissa took the seat across from him and set a padd down in her lap. It took her a little effort to focus. At least the young man across from her was easy on the eyes. She mentally shook herself. She had to keep the professional distance. No matter what. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />Moonsong: Perhaps you would like to tell me why you think you are here?<br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Greyson’s brows furrowed in a slightly confused expression, but he kept himself relaxed. He smiled faintly and replied with what seemed like a practiced neutrality he developed at the academy. oO Stay on topic. Engineering requests, tac consoles. Oo <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />Greyson: I would assume it’s to figure out if I’m suffering from PTSD when the console exploded. Fear of a relapse if it tries to eat my face. <nowiki>::</nowiki> Beat. <nowiki>::</nowiki> I was also instructed by Captain Egan Manno and Commander Core to discuss a desire to transfer to engineering.<br /><br />Moonsong: <nowiki>::</nowiki> she wasn’t aware of how she chewed her bottom lip as she considered his words <nowiki>::</nowiki> That would be quite a change. Tell me, during the mission, what was it like… being near it again?<br /><br />Greyson: Commander Mei’konda saw my hands shaking while I was using it during the last mission.  I’m not sure if it was the same console, but I do remember the spot where I was bleeding at CD’s feet. And later, when I spoke to Commander Core and the Captain, the engineer said the console was probably one of eighteen that had experienced a power surge before I got to it.<br /><br />Moonsong: So… perhaps… because of what happened that’s what is driving you to shift departments?<br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> He exhaled slowly, still keeping himself relaxed. <nowiki>::</nowiki> <br /><br />Greyson: That’s my thought, yes. Sounds reasonable, doesn’t it?<br /><br />Moonsong: <nowiki>::</nowiki>a dark eyebrow went up <nowiki>::</nowiki> If an engineering console blows up in your face, will you shift to another department?<br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> She had a point. He honestly didn’t know. And he remembered the words that Commander Core had said regarding engineering being one of the most stressful places on a ship during a crisis. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />Greyson: I don’t believe I will be requesting a transfer if an engineering console blows up at me, no. It’s not...I don’t understand what it was about the tactical console, but I don’t think my place is behind it. Tactical mind or not, I suspect I may have better luck working with my hands rather than my head.

<br /><br />Moonsong: <nowiki>::</nowiki> nods <nowiki>::</nowiki> I see. <nowiki>::</nowiki> she rose to her feet <nowiki>::</nowiki> Let’s go to the bridge. <br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> The tactical officer blinked a few times. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />Greyson: Is that necessary, Counselor?<br /><br />Moonsong: <nowiki>::</nowiki> nods encouragingly <nowiki>::</nowiki> Yes, I think it is. I need to observe you in the environment that is causing the issues for you.<br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Based on his reactions when he was on the bridge, standing at that console, she suspected he didn’t have a case of PTSD. His reaction to a stressful incident wasn’t as severe as it could have been. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> He blinked again, nervous about going onto the bridge to stare at the console that had become the reason he was worshiping Chythar as a savior -- because his life had been in danger since something on the bridge attempted to murder him. Or at least, it went boom in his face. <nowiki>::</nowiki> <br /><br />Greyson: Yes, ma’am. As you wish. <nowiki>::</nowiki> and he stood up slowly, walking over to the door and extending his hand. <nowiki>::</nowiki> After you.<br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Raissa nodded at him as she walked past him <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />Moonsong: You’ll be fine, ensign. <br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> She led the way out of the counseling offices and to the turbolift. As she stood beside him she couldn’t help but notice how tall he was. She was tall herself and she had an old fashioned tendency to appreciate a man who was taller. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />(( Turbolift ))<br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Carter looked nervous. Tense. He didn’t want to go to the bridge during his off-hours, but by the same token didn’t feel that he could actually set foot on the bridge again while he was off duty. Nervous. He swallowed hard, not sure what to say. Just in quiet contemplation. Awkward silence. He eventually lowered his gaze to the ground and thought to himself oO If it wasn’t for her calm demeanor, I probably wouldn’t be doing this without someone ordering me to do it… Oo  <nowiki>::</nowiki> <br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Raissa didn’t find the silence awkward. She was as comfortable with silence as she was with talking. Although the small confines of the turbolift made her very aware of Greyson’s presence. She wondered if he was aware of the effect he had on people. She glanced at his expression. He appeared to be oblivious so probably not. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />(( Bridge ))<br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Unfortunately it was a short trip from Deck 9 to the bridge and she forced herself to step out of the turbolift. She turned and focused on Greyson... <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />Moonsong: <nowiki>::</nowiki> she kept her voice soothing:: It’s all right, ensign. <nowiki>::</nowiki> It was like coaxing a baby chick to her hand. A very tall baby chick. <nowiki>::</nowiki> You can do this.<br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Greyson swallowed hard and stepped reluctantly out onto the bridge. Glancing around and finding no other officers except the night shift, he stepped over to his tactical console. He glanced down at it with paranoia, forcing himself not to cringe or jump back from it. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />Greyson: Not looking forward to it...<br /><br />Moonsong: <nowiki>::</nowiki>she nodded noticing he was able to walk directly to the tactical console. She could easily read his tension:: What are you feeling?<br /><br />Greyson: Paranoia. Tension. Fear, maybe. Um...Fear at this thing suddenly deciding to blow up again? Uncertainty of the next 8 seconds that I will be looking up into CD’s eyes with medical teal over me and blood everywhere… <nowiki>::</nowiki> His voice nearly cracked at the end, like he was truly scared of this thing. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Raissa watched him carefully. She had to gage how far he would be willing to push himself past the fear. If he couldn’t do it, there would be no other option but for him to be transferred. It could be debilitating enough to affect his career in Starfleet. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />Moonsong: <nowiki>::</nowiki> Her voice was as calm and soothing as possible as she stood beside him <nowiki>::</nowiki> The fear is normal. It hurt you. Very badly. <nowiki>::</nowiki> She laid her hand on the console <nowiki>::</nowiki> It’s how you handle the fear that is important. <br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Carter’s eyes closed as he silently counted to eight. His breathing slowed during that count, as though he was gauging his actions. Or counting down his lifespan. Then he opened his eyes and glanced around, still on the bridge. Still in one piece. Still standing next to the Counselor Moonsong and the console. The console was still in one piece. He glanced down at it. And blinked for several seconds. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />Greyson: Go on...tell me I’m paranoid.<br /><br />Moonsong: <nowiki>::</nowiki> she answered him seriously <nowiki>::</nowiki> You are paranoid.<br /><br />Greyson: What would you suggest, then?<br /><br />Moonsong: There is nothing wrong with healthy paranoia. The reason Starfleet exists is because the Federation is paranoid. What I want you to realize is that you have a choice. You have to decide who is in control. Is it you or is it this console? <nowiki>::</nowiki> her hand seemed to move across the surface in a caress <nowiki>::</nowiki> You must choose if you want to allow this aspect of paranoia affect and control you. That means allowing it to control the direction of your life. Something like this can affect all aspects of your life including your career. <nowiki>::</nowiki> She waited for his reaction. Often people would become angry at something that stood in the way of their dreams. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> He closed his eyes and considered her words. Considered Commander Core’s words about offering to help him finish the engineering program through Starfleet Academy. Considered his position at this console. Considered the past, the present, and the future. His future; where did he belong? In Starfleet, yes -- engineer or tactical? Both hands gradually clenched to fists, and he opened his eyes slowly to meet her gaze.  <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />Greyson: I don’t want to give it that power. I think...I truly believe that I need the extra training so I don’t run or shy away from exploding consoles. Commander Core has offered to help me do that. I’m inclined to take him up on that offer.<br /><br />Moonsong: <nowiki>::</nowiki> she nodded <nowiki>::</nowiki> Knowing how something works can often go a long way to giving you a sense of control.<br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Raissa looked down to where her hand was on the console. After her console refresher on the Battle Bridge, she had a good idea what did what. She deliberately and incorrectly started a level one diagnostic that would lock the damned thing up for hours of confusion <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Carter’s ears perked for a moment and he glanced down at the console as it beeped. He took a breath to calm his shaking hands, which were twitchy from paranoia and the anger he felt at the blasted contraption. He blinked for a moment before his hands flew across the surface to stop the diagnostic loop. He managed to stop it before the console locked. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />Moonsong: <nowiki>::</nowiki> her voice was a soft caress <nowiki>::</nowiki> Who is in charge, Carter?<br /><br />Greyson: <nowiki>::</nowiki> blinked at her use of his given name, noting the position of her hand on the console; the shape of her hand’s slender fingers nearing the buttons necessary to lock the console into a state of uselessness. <nowiki>::</nowiki> In charge of which? <nowiki>::</nowiki> Beat. <nowiki>::</nowiki> Between me and the tech? I am.<br /><br />Moonsong: It’s not the console. It’s fear. If fear is in charge and if you can’t get past it, you don’t belong here. <nowiki>::</nowiki> sometimes the truth was harsh but necessary. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Greyson’s eyes narrowed once again. oO Ouch… Oo He was more angry with the console than at her; she wanted to help him. The console wanted to blow up at him. It already had once. <nowiki>::</nowiki> <br /><br />Greyson: No it isn’t. <nowiki>::</nowiki> He just watched her now, as though waiting for something bad to happen. Again. Yet her expression was calm, almost serene as she looked up at him <nowiki>::</nowiki> <br /><br />Moonsong: It won’t be easy or quick. You’ll need to work to push past this. But I think it’s possible for you to succeed. You have fear aversion which is natural. But I don’t think you have the more serious PTSD. <br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Raissa paused a moment debating on sharing something that would help him, she found herself surprised how his focused gaze on her made butterflies wake up in her stomach. She quickly picked something innocent from when she was a teenager. <nowiki>::</nowiki><br /><br />Moonsong: When I was younger I was thrown by a horse. They are large and have teeth and hooves. He broke my leg. What do you think I did?<br /><br /><nowiki>::</nowiki> Greyson’s gaze softened a bit, his hands gradually unclenched. The anger had faded, for the moment. As he pondered over what he thought she did, he had an idea of what she was getting at. <nowiki>::</nowiki> <br /><br />Greyson: You avoided them for a while, then once you got over the fear you tried to get back on the horse’s back. Maybe not that horse, but a horse. Right?