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Conflict Resolution: Difference between revisions
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==Wars== | ==Wars== | ||
Wars within an online community often follow a typical cycle: | Wars within an online community often follow a typical cycle: | ||
* Private e-mailing: Two people exchange words publicly or privately, resulting in a back-and-forth over private e-mail | * Private e-mailing: Two people exchange words publicly or privately, resulting in a back-and-forth over private e-mail; | ||
* Mediators step in: A few people try and mediate the conflict by suggestion methods of resolution. Both sides are too emotional to listen, though | * Mediators step in: A few people try and mediate the conflict by suggestion methods of resolution. Both sides are too emotional to listen, though; | ||
* Threats: From "I'll leave if..." to "You'll be forced to leave if you don't..." | * Threats: From "I'll leave if..." to "You'll be forced to leave if you don't..." | ||
* The hardline: Someone finally says "Either you ____ or you leave! | * The hardline: Someone finally says "Either you ____ or you leave!" | ||
* The White Flag Confession: One or more people in the conflict admit one of the following: | * The White Flag Confession: One or more people in the conflict admit one of the following: | ||
** They may have been too harsh | ** They may have been too harsh; | ||
** They have stress in their life that caused this problem | ** They have stress in their life that caused this problem; | ||
** They did something that inadvertantly led to this conflict, even though they didn't mean to | ** They did something that inadvertantly led to this conflict, even though they didn't mean to; | ||
* Calls for more rules: People suggest rules which will avoid this future situation. --[[User:FltAdml. Wolf|FltAdml. Wolf]] 15:09, 3 Dec 2004 (EST) | * Calls for more rules: People suggest rules which will avoid this future situation. --[[User:FltAdml. Wolf|FltAdml. Wolf]] 15:09, 3 Dec 2004 (EST) | ||
==Methods of Conflict Resolution== | ==Methods of Conflict Resolution== | ||
===Defend each other=== | |||
* ''From [http://www.usemod.com Meatball Wiki]'' | |||
If you are personally attacked, don't defend yourself. That may be surprising - but defending yourself is not your job, it is the job of the other members in the online community. Reasons: | |||
* it is much more credible to the reader; | |||
* it's too hard to stay emotionally balanced when you defend against personal attacks, it is much easier even not to defend at all; | |||
* the experience of being defended is incredible, enjoy it to defend and be defended creates strong emotional bonds among members -- it builds trust; | |||
Remember, most of the time personal attacks need not be defended at all, because the attacker only hurts his own reputation and credibility. However, [[Model Desired Behavior]]: if someone else is attacked, defend them. | |||
While conflicts are typically seen as negative, they hold big chances to grow as a community, to build trust among the members, to grow in valuable experience. Observe and learn for the next conflicts. | While conflicts are typically seen as negative, they hold big chances to grow as a community, to build trust among the members, to grow in valuable experience. Observe and learn for the next conflicts. | ||
Of course, this only works when things happen in the open. | Of course, this only works when things happen in the open. | ||