SIM:Series: Inheritance
A series of background sims relating to T'Reshik and PNPC Taurek.
OOC Content warning: Contains discussion of subjects some may find distressing
Ens. T'Reshik: Pure Intention
((FLASHBACK - Vulcan, 2362))
- She was supposed to be producing a historical analysis of the political and economic circumstances surrounding the last Vulcan intra-planetary war and the Awakening, but after the first few journal articles, T'Reshik found herself losing interest. At eleven years old she did not yet have the resistance to boredom that most adult Vulcans were disciplined enough to maintain, and besides, she could not see what possible applications this subject might have to her planned future career as a brilliant doctor and/or scientist (she hadn't quite decided which one she was going to be yet).::
- In this light, the amount of detail she was obliged to go into seemed quite irrelevant. Before Surak, her people were violent, irrational and murderous, and eventually began to fling nuclear weapons at each other until they almost wiped themselves out; after that the philosophy of Surak spread until they all became sensible and productive enough not to play with atomic bombs any more and that was that. There's your tedious bloody essay, Professor Barok: now sod off back to your archives to look at old bits of paper and leave the scientists to get on with the interesting stuff.::
- Knowing she would likely get in trouble for this, but not especially caring, T'Reshik dismissed the historical journals from her screen and diverted her attention back to this week's object of affection: her genetics textbook.::
- She opened it reverently, eyes bright and hungry for the reams of knowledge within. Formulae, diagrams, long streams of symbols denoting the secrets hidden within her own flesh... she could spend all night reading this kind of thing, and in fact frequently had, much to Barok's disapproval when she started nodding off in his seminars. (It wasn't her fault that history class was the perfect place to catch up on sleep.)::
- Her small finger followed the page as she read, first in Vulcan, then in Federation Standard English, and the subtle linguistic discrepancies between the two columns did not fascinate her nearly so much as the content. She thought of her own DNA, encoded deep in her cells, its chemical signals sending out instructions like a general directing her troops from the war room, tissues proliferating and growing and shedding and dying as every day her body grew older and stronger...::
- At first she did not realise why her eyes had paused on a specific section, re-reading it over and over before she even knew it was happening.::
T'Reshik: o O Iris coloration is determined by the below factors... Blue is largely the result of a recessive gene... Green eyes are caused by an inherited variance on the following and in Vulcans will always dominate that which causes blue and grey pigmentation if the superseding pattern for brown is not present... O o
- Will always dominate.::
- T'Reshik closed the book.::
- She did not need to consult a mirror. Nor did she seek, as a human child might have done, a family photograph for reference, or perhaps to try and reassure herself that she had made a mistake. The relevant faces had been burned into her mind as clearly as those damning paragraphs were now.::
- Two blue-eyed parents and a green-eyed child.::
- She grabbed the textbook and consulted furiously; then, after a few minutes, brought up the genetic science database and consulted that as well, scouring all the available knowledge for anything that might disprove her unsettling conclusion. There were genetic disorders that could cause this, but none that were relevant here; mutations of this kind would have caused other observable factors in her genes, none of which she manifested... ::
- Eventually her hands went slack on the inputs and she stared at the screen, her mind reaching for an explanation.::
- She already knew a little about Pon Farr, mostly from demurely-worded biology lessons and the dubious assertions of her classmates (some of which were more reliable than others - she was fairly sure that it didn't temporarily turn you into a mountain lion, for example). She was vaguely aware that she had an uncle, Shirok, who had died of the condition, and that these sort of things were rarely spoken of.::
- And she knew, with a cold flood of realisation, that whatever circumstances had driven her parents to conceal her true lineage - for surely a straightforward adoption would not have needed to be concealed, in a family as open and forthright as her own - they had been driven by a horrific kind of necessity.::
- Abruptly she returned her attention to the screen and rattled out a brief and petulant set of logical arguments for Professor Barok regarding the irrelevance of historical study to the progress of modern science. Then she turned elsewhere, back to the journal database, and this time her search was fuelled with determination.::
- As expected, there wasn't much out there about Pon Farr, or if there was it was couched too deeply in euphemism and scientific jargon for her to uncover as yet. The only thing she could find, hidden away in a second-rate offworld journal, was a case study, authored by one Professor Sutek of the local university, regarding the potential long-term uses of a particular hormone antagonist. Although the purpose of his research was not stated outright, the language in his conclusion hinted at the necessity of discussing such issues, the lives ruined and lost due to wilful ignorance where science could surely find a solution if only it were given the chance.::
- The rest of the article was mostly beyond her understanding, but T'Reshik wasn't going to let a small thing like that deter her. She hefted her biochemistry textbook onto her desk and prepared herself for a long night of study.::
- It was clear she had a lot of work to do.::
PNPC Ensign Taurek: The Things We Never Say (part 1)
((FLASHBACK - USS Leda, 2388))
- The transmission was flagged as urgent; the captain had given him express permission to answer during his shift. He found a quiet room in the counselling department and was mildly surprised to see T'Praal's face appear on screen. Her hair was prematurely greying, her face more lined than when he had seen her last.::
Taurek: What is the purpose of this communication?
T'Praal: T'Reshik is seriously ill. She requires a Myelin-B transplant from a member of her immediate family. Since- ::Pause:: Since her biological father is dead, and I am not a match, you are the only potential donor remaining, or I would not have disturbed you.
Taurek: I understand the seriousness of the situation. Where is she?
T'Praal: Earth.
Taurek: ::pause:: Less than five hours away by shuttlecraft. I will explain the situation to the captain. Am I to assume, then, that T'Reshik is now aware of her true genetic parentage?
T'Praal: ...No. She is unconscious. I have explained the... unique circumstances to her attending doctors. They will not lie on our behalf, but they are willing to say only that tissue has been donated by an unnamed member of her family.
Taurek: And she will not think this is suspicious?
T'Praal: I... do not believe so. ::Pause:: Taurek - T'Reshik requires this transplant because she has chosen to undergo the Pon Farr without resolution. The situation is... more complex than we have time to explain. Sevak and I offered to find her a mate at short notice, and T'Reshik told us in no uncertain terms that she would not consent to this.
Taurek: ::before he could stop himself:: That is ... tantamount to suicide.
T'Praal: It is simply one more course of action from her we cannot condone. She has no further desire to speak to us, and... we are of the same mind. If she survives, she is likely to assume that it was one of us, and that we left before she regained consciousness in order to avoid interaction.
- There were so many things going unsaid. Had he been in a therapeutic setting, watching two non-Vulcans converse like this, he would have encouraged them to speak their minds, to address the many questions each would undeniably have for the other. But they were Vulcans, and they could not afford to waste any more time.::
Taurek: Understood. I will contact you when the transplant is completed.
- For a moment, he wondered whether T'Praal would say something else. "Please take care of her" flashed into his head, and the sudden irrationality surprised him. But perhaps these thoughts were to be expected. Either way, T'Praal simply ended the transmission, and whatever thoughts had existed in that brief pause beforehand sped quietly back into the silence like a passing star.::
PNPC Ensign Taurek: The Things We Never Say (part 2)
((FLASHBACK - Vulcan, 2350))
- Nobody asked why Taurek was there, just as they did not ask about the subtle incongruity of his name and his face, the tell-tale marks of a physiology at odds with his soul; the soft jaw, the smooth throat, the androgynous voice. The classic Vulcan reluctance to solicit personal details - not to mention the fact that their language didn't have gendered pronouns - made it easier to live one's life without question here, even before the benefit of surgical transition.::
- (He wondered if that would continue as the pregnancy began to show. He was trying not to think about that right now.)::
- If they noticed, too, that his emotional control staggered when the priestess chanted the litany, that the hormones made his eyes leak traitorously as they consigned Shivok's body to the silence, they did not comment. Even Vulcans sometimes wept at funerals.::
- As the mourners dissipated into the desert, Shivok's sister, T'Praal, was considerate enough to wait until he had composed himself to approach. Taurek offered her the traditional greeting, and she responded, her eyes flicking down to his still-flat abdomen before returning to his.::
T'Praal: We understand that you are keeping his child.
Taurek: As my tutor, your brother instilled in me the belief that logic has no meaning if it is not tempered by a respect for life.
- She looked at him with what, in a certain light, might have passed for sympathy.::
T'Praal: I believe, in this situation, he would have forgiven you for choosing otherwise.
Taurek: Perhaps. But I would not. ::Pause:: I wished to ask if you were willing to adopt.
T'Praal: We had expected you might. Your age, your... circumstances...
Taurek: Understood. The child would realise the truth too early, and the knowledge would almost certainly cause harm.
T'Praal: ::Pause:: My mate and I have already discussed this. We are willing to raise the child as our own, but... there is one stipulation.
- Taurek waited for her to continue.::
T'Praal: What happened is likely still... challenging for you. We understand that protecting Shivok's memory is perhaps not your first priority-
Taurek: Your brother was a reasonable and compassionate individual and it would be illogical to assign blame for an event which was beyond his control. ::Pause:: I do not hold him at fault, T'Praal.
T'Praal: Well, clearly *he* did.
- As calmly as it might have been delivered, the utterance was an unexpectedly emotional one, and Taurek looked away, suppressing discomfort. Shivok's suicide had not even been alluded to during the ceremony, and he wondered how many people actually knew about the situation. It was possible that most assumed the obvious - that, separated from his wife by circumstances nobody could prevent, he had died in the throes of Pon Farr. Taurek was content to allow them to believe this. And even as he thought about the situation again, he realised what T'Praal was asking him.::
Taurek: You would rather the child never knew.
T'Praal: Yes. For this to become my brother's legacy...
Taurek: ... would do great discredit to his memory. I understand your conclusions, but I do not agree. That having been said... I am willing to consign his daughter to your care. What you tell her is your concern.
T'Praal: It is a female, then.
Taurek: Insofar as that can be inferred from chromosomes alone, yes. Do we have an agreement?
T'Praal: We do. Sevak and I will be in communication soon.
- Another downward glance.::
T'Praal: Peace and long life, Taurek. ::Pause:: Please take care of her.
PNPC Ensign Taurek: The Things We Never Say (part 3)
((Vulcan, 2351))
- Carrying T'Reshik had been... difficult. ::
- By the age of seventeen, gender dysphoria had become nothing more than a low-level distraction for Taurek; tiny background errors in his coding that nonetheless allowed him to function from day to day. Pregnancy had changed all that. For the first time in years, there was an emotional component to the experience which Taurek found... challenging. ::
- It was simple enough not to think about Shivok. Not thinking about his own biology - with his daughter a constant presence inside him, palpable by the end - was far harder. So when the pain finally came there was also a kind of relief. ::
- It was not that he did not love her, on some level. Rather, his love came with sadness fast on its heels like a shadow, and for all his efforts he could not force it to leave. ::
- She stayed with him for less than an hour after the birth. Exhausted, aching, but with composure as impeccable as he could manage, Taurek watched T'Praal take the baby from his arms and study her, watched Sevak place a finger in her tiny grasp and wonder silently at those childish reflexes.::
T'Praal: What are you going to do now?
- At first he thought she was speaking to the child, but realized belatedly that T'Praal was addressing him. He sat up, wiping his hair back from his forehead. ::
Taurek: Resume the hormonal treatments with a view to undergoing surgery as soon as possible. Continue with my planned career in psychotherapy.
Sevak: You are still certain you do not desire any contact with T'Reshik?
Taurek: I am. Any other course of action would be... challenging for both of us. You are still certain that you do not wish to tell her the truth?
- The couple exchanged glances.::
T'Praal: We do not believe it would benefit her to know.
Taurek: Then there is nothing more to discuss. ::pause:: I thank you for this service you have done me. Please take care of her.
- He watched them go, and felt that instinctive love for his child reach out over the growing distance between them, sadness fast on its heels like a shadow. He knew then that it would never leave him for as long as he lived. ::
(Tbc)