User:Dekas
Stats
- Name: Ace.
- Joined Starbase 118: February 2021
- Gender: Gender-fluid (They/them, She/her. Both are interchangable.)
- Age: 26
- Occupation: I work in a group home for people with disabilities.
- Location: America
- OOC Rank: Ensign
- Hobbies/interests: Writing, reading (especially books on the craft of writing and storytelling. But I'm not picky as long as the story is fun, or the topic intrigues me), Roleplaying, Star Trek, TTRPGs, Cats, Animals.
- Favorite Trek series/movie: I have three answers. 1.) Overall: Deep Space Nine is my favorite because it's entertaining to watch, but it's also objectively the best Star Trek series. 2.) For nostalgia & connection to my late father: Enterprise. It had a whole lot of flaws, and I acknowledge that. But it was fun to watch and as well as being something that I could talk fondly about with my dad. And 3.) Lower Decks. I love that it is made for adults and it can be hilarious and crass and rude, and it can pick fun at flaws in the previous series before it in the best ways. But also be so true to what Star Trek feels like because the same way it can pick at the flaws, it also highlights the good things. Plus the art style is very fun. Runner up: TNG. We all love Data, and I'm not exempt from this.
- Writer ID: J239802D12
How I came to SB118
For a very long time, I actually didn't like Star Trek. It was a stubborn reaction as a child that had no basis in actually disliking it beyond wanting something to be angry about. But my dad (and my twin sister) really liked Star Trek. My dad's favorites were TNG and Enterprise, my sister liked Voyager. But I didn't really allow myself to listen to them talk about any of those until 2009 when the first JJ. Abrams Star Trek movie came out and they convinced me to go with them to the theater to see it when I finally conceded that Star Trek was pretty cool. Didn't immediately fall into a full interest in it. But now I could listen to my dad talk about it, and occasionally watch some intermittent episodes of Voyager with my sister. Sometime in the midst of it, I got into RP in other fandoms and mediums. Not Star Trek yet, but that was the introduction to RP. With more than a few shifts in fandom and what characters I was writing in those places, my friends eventually started playing in the Star Trek universe which showed up where I could read it. And that's when I started considering getting into it for real. Over the years, I tried to watch various iterations of Trek, and kept getting distracted with other interests. But I was watching little bits over multiple years. I watched some of the movies. Sometimes restarting and trying again. But it wasn't until late 2020 that I went into a full deep dive into it. I binged it. And I started really getting into conversations about it with my dad. It was something I found a lot of enjoyment in talking to him about because he could go really in-depth into episodes he loved and thought were funny and thoughtful and it was a good time.
However, at the very end of 2020, my dad died unexpectedly. So I was grieving, I'd lost the person I felt most comfortable talking about it with. Because even though there were others around me who liked Star Trek, it didn't feel the same. At the same time, the place I'd been writing for a good number of years in a different fandom had already started to feel less fun, even before my dad's death. Many of the friends I used to be close with either stopped writing there or we just naturally drifted apart. The community I was part of became more selective and elitist. And I was feeling like I needed a change for a while, things were slowing down and I was stagnating in both writing and RPing and I missed it. My dad's death really had me needing that change. I gravitated toward my most recent interest, and the interest I felt most connected to my dad; Star Trek. I looked for Star Trek RP things in early 2021. There were a few I was considering. But I found Starbase118 to be the one that was most approachable. Its main page was really well designed, the wikis were fun to peruse. And based on really looking through it all, I realized it was an active community and decided to apply.
History
- Where were you first placed? What was it like starting to sim on your vessel?: My first, and current ship is The USS Juneau under Captain Oddas Aria. I came in at the end of a mission called Visitors in the Night, where the Juneau was investigating a black hole circling Quasar with a pair of long-dead vessels. Honestly coming in at the end of a mission was a little disorienting because I didn't have all the character context yet, and I was nervous about all the new people because I wasn't used to the setup yet. I struggled very much to keep up. The number of people was overwhelming and I was also grieving a really recent death and dealing with severe mental health problems and impostor syndrome. It had me needing an LOA for a few months. That wasn't the fault of anyone except myself. I took the time to focus more on myself and therapy because I needed that during that time for far more than all this. And even if I'd chosen not to come back, I would have continued with that. But in truth if not for the support and encouragement of my mentor and the Captain, I don't think I would have come back from my LOA.
- What have been your greatest challenges in this group?: The severity of the imposter syndrome in conjunction with all my other mental health issues. At one point I would have said the overwhelming number of people, and how sometimes new people will come in and I don't know them yet so I feel nervous about it because up til joining 118, I'd only done one-on-one, and mostly with the people I was closest to already even if there were more than that. Those things are still a little bit of a struggle, but I find I'm getting used to them. You never truly get used to the sheer awfulness of feeling like you won't add up, or feeling like you don't deserve the support people give you. Comparison really is the thief of joy and it is an ongoing process full of ups and downs and therapy to stop myself from stealing my own joy away from myself.
- What have been your greatest achievements in this group?: During the mission right after my LOA, I was put in an away team where both of the other original team members (including the away team leader herself) suddenly took an LOA for one reason or another right at the start. I was the only original team member present on that away team. I really thought I was going to have to figure that out on my own somehow. But The Captain and My Mentor/XO were quick to get people to write with me (including themselves with PNPCs). They could have recalled that away team and effectively retconned that part of things. They could have waited more and made me deal with it alone longer. But they didn't. Effectively, I got to "lead" that away team and make a decision that made an opening for a meaningful character arc after the fact. And in the process, it allowed me to feel more confident with my place in this group. And I'm proud of myself for not giving up or truly panicking like I otherwise could have. Secondarily, I'm pretty proud of myself for how often I post appreciations on the forums for fellow crewmates. I really do feel like they deserve it, and at a different point in my life I might have been too nervous to even give compliments to people. The fact I can do it so easily feels like a positive thing.
- What do you ultimately hope to accomplish?: I think for now I'd like to have my character be eligible for Chief Engineer on the ship as a first step. It's gonna take some work, I know, but I'd like to be able to earn that as an option. But as a personal step, I'd like to do all that I can to be an excellent supporting player on the Juneau and any ship I might be on in the future. I want to be able to help new players feel as secure and appreciated as I've felt with the command staff of the Juneau, and I want to help people find those moments where they can have their character or their writing style really shine and be awesome. I think I'd feel really good if I could just manage to do that much.
- Where do you see this group in five years?: I'm not sure yet, but I do hope that as a whole it really keeps up the efforts it puts into making its members feel valued. I think that's something that really makes this group feel so special to me. Because in independent communities, the value is often placed after you've proved yourself somehow. And the means to 'prove yourself' is different for every person. But this group I've never felt like I was anything less than valued. Even when I feel like I don't deserve it, I've never felt like the people here thought the same toward me as I do toward myself. I've always been appreciated and I think that's really important in a group.
- How do you think this group has contributed to Star Trek's Legacy? How has the group contributed to the internet community?: I think as far as how it has contributed to the legacy of Star Trek, given its distinct push on the idea of 'infinite diversity, in infinite combinations' it has done very well. The way it seems to me is that people do the best they can to involve people of racial diversity, spiritual diversity, gender and sexuality diversity, mental and physical disability diversity as well as they can. And it looks like the group continues to try and be something that anyone from any of those labels can find approachable and available to them. Which is very good. I think all of those things really do add a good thing to the legacy of what Star Trek is supposed to represent as a whole, as well as being a fun time and a place to make friends. I'm not sure how it's contributed to the internet community as I'm not fully entrenched in the Star Trek writing community elsewhere, but it seems to me that it's one of the best ones out there. It wouldn't have lasted over 25 years otherwise!
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