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{{Ronin}} | {{Ronin}} | ||
These are the shoreleave logs of the starship ''[[USS Ronin|Ronin]]''. Her mission: to explore long bouts of inebriation, to seek out reasons to cry and pout, to boldly go where no drunk ensign has gone before. | These are the shoreleave logs of the starship ''[[USS Ronin|Ronin]]''. Her mission: to explore long bouts of inebriation, to seek out reasons to cry and pout, to boldly go where no drunk ensign has gone before. | ||
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The next morning, while [[Quay, Kassa|Quay]] and [[Rogers, William|Rogers]] were swapping spit, [[Maria, Cara|Maria]] made [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] a nice breakfast and placed it next to him under the desk with a note. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] missed breakfast with [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]] and [[Parker, Addison|Parker]], but [[Thelev, Jhen|Jhen]] missed it too and [[Parker, Addison|Parker]] didn't bother going because who wants to have breakfast with an insane, insensitive, I-want-to-be-Captain type when you can stay in bed? Instead, he called | The next morning, while [[Quay, Kassa|Quay]] and [[Rogers, William|Rogers]] were swapping spit, [[Maria, Cara|Maria]] made [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] a nice breakfast and placed it next to him under the desk with a note. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] missed breakfast with [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]] and [[Parker, Addison|Parker]], but [[Thelev, Jhen|Jhen]] missed it too and [[Parker, Addison|Parker]] didn't bother going because who wants to have breakfast with an insane, insensitive, I-want-to-be-Captain type when you can stay in bed? Instead, he called [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]], who was having breakfast with [[Reed, Sarah|Reed]], and scheduled an emergency counseling session. Before the session, [[Reed, Sarah|Reed]] pumped [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] for details about her impromptu date with [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]], discovering what she'd feared: [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] didn't know about the wee one, [[Brice, Matthew|Matthew Hollenbricedaleson]]. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] then got his head shrunk by [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] while [[Reed, Sarah|Reed]] scheduled dinner with [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] and [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]], planning to stand them both up so they'd fall in love and make everyone feel sappy. [[Reed, Sarah|Reed]]'s evil plan worked, but not before [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] realized he missed his mum and didn't want all his friends to die and, after that epiphany, ran off to the holosuites to play Captain [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] of the ''USS Enterprise'' (NCC-1701) and wrestle Kirk-style with an Atollian Fangor Beast. [[Quay, Kassa|Quay]] and [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] also had breakfast, where they each nearly found out that the other had met a special someone the night before. Then [[Idril Mar|Mar]] threw a small briefing party for [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]], [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]], and [[Wayfel, Kered|Wayfel]] (the token [[Andorian]] NPC who makes sure [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]] doesn't think he's the token) and told them that it was a bring-your-own-supplies-to-last-us-ten-years party, so they had to leave and get the supplies. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] called [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] and asked his input on how best to do it, and [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] said, "Let's get the important stuff," to which Brice said, "Why didn't I think of that?" | ||
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Although not necessarily a full shoreleave, the crew of the [[USS Ronin]] leaped full speed (Warp 9, to be exact--alright, so the [[USS Ronin|Ronin]] could go faster given that Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] had logged a top speed of Warp 9.9 the first time Cpt. [[Idril Mar|Mar]] had entrusted the ship to his command, but let's be honest: we wouldn't want to seem too eager to get off work and join a party, would we?) toward a well-planned, tri-ship award/promotion ceremony aboard the [[USS Ursa Major]] in orbit of [[Wheeler Colony]]. To our credit, the true fun could never have begun without us; they even needed our fighters give that extra bit of flare to the ceremony. | Although not necessarily a full shoreleave, the crew of the ''[[USS Ronin]]'' leaped full speed (Warp 9, to be exact--alright, so the ''[[USS Ronin|Ronin]]'' could go faster given that Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] had logged a top speed of Warp 9.9 the first time Cpt. [[Idril Mar|Mar]] had entrusted the ship to his command, but let's be honest: we wouldn't want to seem too eager to get off work and join a party, would we?) toward a well-planned, tri-ship award/promotion ceremony aboard the ''[[USS Ursa Major]]'' in orbit of [[Wheeler Colony]]. To our credit, the true fun could never have begun without us; they even needed our fighters to give that extra bit of flare to the ceremony. | ||
The (secretly) ex-pirate Ensign, Mr. [[Shepard, Jack|Shepard]] got promoted to Lieutenant J.G., while the (openly) ex-pirate [[Deveraux, Alandra|Alandra Deveraux]] wasn't even invited (that's prejudice for you). The insanely versatile Tactical Counseling Diplomatic Catering Officer, Ensign [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] also got promoted to J.G., but we all saw that one coming. No one with four jobs in 1.3 missions is going to stay at the bottom wrung for long, unless the Captain wants to appear heartless. The irresistible, yet amazingly perpetually single, Lt. Commander [[Maria, Cara|Maria]] was awarded the Nebula bar, perhaps for her nebulously undefinable ability to attract and yet elude her fellow officers. Lt. Commander [[Walker received the Kalendra Award for being exceptionally devious (especially in his ability to evade a honeymoon). Lt. Commander [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] was honored with the Sheathed Sword in recognition of previously being honored with the gift of unrecognizably roasted limbs by the lovable (but never to be trusted) [[Kolk, Jackford ( | The (secretly) ex-pirate Ensign, Mr. [[Shepard, Jack|Shepard]] got promoted to Lieutenant J.G., while the (openly) ex-pirate [[Deveraux, Alandra|Alandra Deveraux]] wasn't even invited (that's prejudice for you). The insanely versatile Tactical Counseling Diplomatic Catering Officer, Ensign [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] also got promoted to J.G., but we all saw that one coming. No one with four jobs in 1.3 missions is going to stay at the bottom wrung for long, unless the Captain wants to appear heartless. The irresistible, yet amazingly perpetually single, Lt. Commander [[Maria, Cara|Maria]] was awarded the Nebula bar, perhaps for her nebulously undefinable ability to attract and yet elude her fellow officers. Lt. Commander [[Walker, Benjamin|Walker]] received the Kalendra Award for being exceptionally devious (especially in his ability to evade a honeymoon). Lt. Commander [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] was honored with the Sheathed Sword in recognition of previously being honored with the gift of unrecognizably roasted limbs by the lovable (but never to be trusted) [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|'Evil' Kolk]] and thus being out of commission for several months. Lt. [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair-Walker]] was awarded the B-Plot Award for having miraculously managed to have a life, on another starship no less, despite having yolked herself to the exceptionally devious Lt. Commander [[Walker, Benjamin J.|Walker]]. Lt. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] was awarded the Order of Starfleet Merit and Achievement, First Class for being an all around swell guy (What? You think I'm gonna bash my boss? He could throw me inside the Warp Core and start it up! ...besides he also writes for Ens. [[Reed, Sarah|Reed]], and she's hot! Wouldn't want to ruin my chances...). Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] (that's me) received the Neellix Award for having the astounding ability to be eminently likable despite having the ugliest looking head in the universe--oh wait, sorry; I was thinking of the guy they named it after. Lt. [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]] received the Purple Star because well... he misses his blue toes and needed something to distract him from their loss. Lt. J.G. [[Parker, Addison|Parker]] received the Order of Starfleet Merit and Achievement, Second Class for having the good sense to dump me and run. And, finally, Lt. J.G. [[Rogers, William|Rogers]] received the Barclay Bead for finding the time to improve the quality of his written reports while still managing to keep up with his obligatory shooting matches with hostile aliens. | ||
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It all began with an old love song sung by Dr. [[Calhan, Jophry|Calhan]] from the [[USS Ursa Major]], during which Lt. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] danced with J.G. [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] (boxing gloves off), at least until they decided to mingle with [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]]'s friends. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] introduced her to LtCmdr. [[Walker, Benjamin J.|Walker]] and his newish bride (married a while but torn apart before their honeymoon by the heartless monster that is Starfleet's bureaucracy) Lt. [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair-Walker]] (formerly, and still occasionally, known as Adair). The girls laughed, the boys chatted, and LtCmdr. [[Walker, Benjamin J.|Walker]] tried to decide whether [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] should die for dating his best friend (he's very possessive). Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] thanked LtCmdr. [[Maria, Cara|Maria]] for playing ghost-sister to him by nearly crying all over her table and asking her to dance. The Lt. then switched to anger-mode upon seeing Ens. [[Reed, Sarah|Reed]] and promptly ordered her to dance with him... angrily. They battled briefly, words flying, and then... fell in love. Or did they? (Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion!). After being left baffled on the dance floor, Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] went to the bar, where Lt. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] asked him to dance. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]]'s hopes of dancing with his ACEy-yO were thwarted when Lt. [[Banks, Susan|Banks]] from the [[USS Ursa Major|Ursa]] answered his call to the dance floor instead of [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]]. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] then took a moment to commiserate about his lonely state with an Independence officer, Lt. [[Cruise, Allen|Cruise]], until Lt. [[Ventu, Lily|Ventu]] came over looking for a dance partner. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] foisted the recently betrothed [[Ventu, Lily|Ventu]] onto the unsuspecting [[Cruise, Allen|Cruise]] while J.G. [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]], technically [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]]'s date, danced with another Engineer, J.G. [[Sharpe, Paul|Sharpe]], ACEy-yO of the Indy (boxing gloves on). [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] broke free of [[Banks, Susan|Banks]], [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] gracefully excused herself from [[Sharpe, Paul|Sharpe]], and the two danced happily ever after (boxing gloves off). Meanwhile LtCmdr. [[Maria, Cara|Maria]] joined the congratulations crowd, getting lost in it for a while and growing an empathic headache (much like a Chia-Pet) until [[Walker, Benjamin J.|Walker]] "saved her" by tossing her, unarmed, at the ravenous Ambassador Joanna Wilde. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] and [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] went back to dancing, but were interrupted by a strange telepathic human of mysterious background and then by the Ambassador. [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] (boxing gloves on) shook the Mystery Man's, Captain Gersh Nathan's, hand and was nonetheless exposed to his disturbing psyche ([[Haliian]] are touch-telepathic, you know). The [[USS Ursa Major|Ursa]] crew saved the cute couple from the Ambassador, and Mystery Man moved on, leaving them to dance again (boxing gloves off). While all this was going on, [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair(-Walker)]] poured synthehol into a plant to replace it with real Scotch, used that to get a [[Vulcan]] (Lt. [[Salak]]) drunk, and picked a fight with an [[Andorian]] (Lt. [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]]). [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]] took the honorable path and ducked out of the fight... by stealing her flask and running. He tossed the flask away to distract her, but Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] didn't think that was a good enough diversion, so he snatched it, called to the Scot, and emptied it into the same plant as the synthehol (lucky plant). Outside in the hallway, Capt. [[Idril Mar|Mar]] and LtCmdr. [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] had a brief chat with [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]] until [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] came running by warning of the ensuing Scottish invasion and whisking the [[Andorian]] away. [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] and [[Idril Mar|Mar]] laughed at the young men and went about their merry way. [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair(-Walker?)]] cornered the the other two and [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] had them all (Lts. [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair]], [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]], & [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]]) beamed to the [[Double Shot]] (that's on the Ronin) where he stole the Scot some Scotch and the three became fast friends (he may have also bribed her with the promise of a few more cases from Earth). The three Lts. returned to the [[USS Ursa Major|Ursa]] where LtCmdr. [[Maria, Cara|Maria]] was being hit on by Lt. [[Cruise, Allen|Cruise]] of the Indy while she tried to go home. [[Thelev, Jhen|Jhen]] saved the day, which left [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] to dance with [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair]], but she was soon beamed to a private holosuite on the [[USS Ronin|Ronin]] to enjoy her, ahem, "Walkerdom". While [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] played Kirk, wooing ladies left and right till night was day, [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] and [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] finished the evening in his quarters getting splashed with water by his spawn, [[Brice, Matthew|Baby Hollenbricedaleson]]. | It all began with an old love song sung by Dr. [[Calhan, Jophry|Calhan]] from the ''[[USS Ursa Major]]'', during which Lt. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] danced with J.G. [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] (boxing gloves off), at least until they decided to mingle with [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]]'s friends. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] introduced her to LtCmdr. [[Walker, Benjamin J.|Walker]] and his newish bride (married a while but torn apart before their honeymoon by the heartless monster that is Starfleet's bureaucracy), Lt. [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair-Walker]] (formerly, and still occasionally, known as Adair). The girls laughed, the boys chatted, and LtCmdr. [[Walker, Benjamin J.|Walker]] tried to decide whether [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] should die for dating his best friend (he's very possessive). Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] thanked LtCmdr. [[Maria, Cara|Maria]] for playing ghost-sister to him by nearly crying all over her table and asking her to dance. The Lt. then switched to anger-mode upon seeing Ens. [[Reed, Sarah|Reed]] and promptly ordered her to dance with him... angrily. They battled briefly, words flying, and then... fell in love. [[SIM: Lt. Jackford Kolk - Out of the Frying Pan and Into Sarah's Arms|Or did they?]] (Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion!). After being left baffled on the dance floor, Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] went to the bar, where Lt. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] asked him to dance. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]]'s hopes of dancing with his ACEy-yO were thwarted when Lt. [[Banks, Susan|Banks]] from the ''[[USS Ursa Major|Ursa]]'' answered his call to the dance floor instead of [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]]. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] then took a moment to commiserate about his lonely state with an ''[[USS Independence-A|Independence]]'' officer, Lt. [[Cruise, Allen|Cruise]], until Lt. [[Ventu, Lily|Ventu]] came over looking for a dance partner. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] foisted the recently betrothed [[Ventu, Lily|Ventu]] onto the unsuspecting [[Cruise, Allen|Cruise]] while J.G. [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]], technically [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]]'s date, danced with another Engineer, J.G. [[Sharpe, Paul|Sharpe]], ACEy-yO of the Indy (boxing gloves on). [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] broke free of [[Banks, Susan|Banks]], [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] gracefully excused herself from [[Sharpe, Paul|Sharpe]], and the two danced happily ever after (boxing gloves off). Meanwhile LtCmdr. [[Maria, Cara|Maria]] joined the congratulations crowd, getting lost in it for a while and growing an empathic headache (much like a Chia-Pet) until [[Walker, Benjamin J.|Walker]] "saved her" by tossing her, unarmed, at the ravenous Ambassador [[Wilde, Joanna|Joanna Wilde]]. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] and [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] went back to dancing, but were interrupted by a strange telepathic human of mysterious background and then by the Ambassador. [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] (boxing gloves on) shook the Mystery Man's, Captain Gersh Nathan's, hand and was nonetheless exposed to his disturbing psyche ([[Haliian]]s are touch-telepathic, you know). The ''[[USS Ursa Major|Ursa]]'' crew saved the cute couple from the Ambassador, and Mystery Man moved on, leaving them to dance again (boxing gloves off). While all this was going on, [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair(-Walker)]] poured synthehol into a plant to replace it with real Scotch, used that to get a [[Vulcan]] (Lt. [[Salak]]) drunk, and picked a fight with an [[Andorian]] (Lt. [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]]). [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]] took the honorable path and ducked out of the fight... by stealing her flask and running. He tossed the flask away to distract her, but Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] didn't think that was a good enough diversion, so he snatched it, called to the Scot, and emptied it into the same plant as the synthehol (lucky plant). Outside in the hallway, Capt. [[Idril Mar|Mar]] and LtCmdr. [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] had a brief chat with [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]] until [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] came running by warning of the ensuing Scottish invasion and whisking the [[Andorian]] away. [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] and [[Idril Mar|Mar]] laughed at the young men and went about their merry way. [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair(-Walker?)]] cornered the the other two and [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] had them all (Lts. [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair]], [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]], & [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]]) beamed to the [[Double Shot]] (that's on the ''[[USS Ronin| Ronin]]'') where he stole the Scot some Scotch and the three became fast friends (he may have also bribed her with the promise of a few more cases from Earth). The three Lts. returned to the ''[[USS Ursa Major|Ursa]]'' where LtCmdr. [[Maria, Cara|Maria]] was being hit on by Lt. [[Cruise, Allen|Cruise]] of the ''[[USS Independence-A|Indy]]'' while she tried to go home. [[Thelev, Jhen|Jhen]] saved the day, which left [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] to dance with [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair]], but she was soon beamed to a private holosuite on the ''[[USS Ronin|Ronin]]'' to enjoy her, ahem, "Walkerdom". While [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] played Kirk, wooing ladies left and right till night was day, [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] and [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] finished the evening in his quarters getting splashed with water by his spawn, [[Brice, Matthew|Baby Hollenbricedaleson]]. | ||
==Shoreleave Log, Stardate 238505.20:== | |||
by Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Jackford B. Kolk]] | |||
On their way home from the far end of the galaxy, someone sneezed and the ''[[USS Ronin|Ronin]]'' fell apart, thus forcing the crew to step out of Roddenberry's masterpiece and into Frank Herbert's. Luckily they got to take their technology with them... and the Worms, which our friends from the ''[[USS Ronin|Ronin]]'' called Land Sharks, didn't mind one bit. They found the crew just as tasty as they would've been without it. After about a day of dismemberment, weeping, and nashing of teeth, they learned that the local worms didn't like water much, so Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] rigged a giant water-cannon from replicator bits and a spare impulse injection manifold. Lt.J.G. [[Illium, Nek|Illium]] also set up a bunch of spiffy Shark-Stopper things around the makeshift camp, but they weren't as much fun to play with as the giant squirt gun. | |||
After being saved from the surface of Dune - err, I mean ::cough:: Rakis - by a group of [[Ferengi]] who had been trying to steal the ''[[USS Ronin|Ronin]]'', the gallant (and now 10% dead) crew soon became a bit more bored and frustrated than gallant (though just as dead). But that's okay, they were just being towed to [[DS17]] in a ship that could barely handle warp three without groaning and crumbling miserably to the aethers. To celebrate their miserable state, they threw a party in the Double Shot on the way to [[DS17]], at which time Lt. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] conspired to give Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] the pleasure of promoting Ens. [[Reed, Sarah|Reed]] to Lt.J.G. Then, on the long trip to [[Earth]] for more extensive repairs than [[DS17]] could give, several of the crew got their heads shrunk by Lt.J.G. [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]], others were killed on stage in the Scottish play (the Counselor figured, "We've just watched 1/10th of our number killed for real; I think now would be a good time to remind us of our mortality with a dark, bloody play that sometimes gets its actors killed"... yup, that's why we consider her the best counselor in the fleet!) | |||
Upon reaching [[Earth]], some crewmembers actually found time to relax - Lt.J.G. [[Rogers, William|Rogers]] tried to woo [[Sarion]], but merely wound up flashing a nun (and I don't mean with lights); Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] showed Lt.J.G. [[Reed, Sarah|Reed]] around Seattle, but the French-speaking Brit-femme disappeared more than once to rendezvous with her an old flame to whom she was secretly betrothed - but before long the senior staff were forced to endure yet another wedding ceremony - this time that of Captain [[Mar, Idril|Mar]] and LtCmdr. [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] - followed by a rather stressful investigation of the bride's near-immediate disappearance. (Any speculation that the honeymoon was short-lived and possibly the worst in the history of the Federation is, at best, an understatement.) As it turns out, LtCmdr. [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]]'s alternate universe counterpart ([[Wilde, Danny (alternate)|Alt. Wilde]] for short) kidnapped Captain [[Mar, Idril|Mar]] and the real LtCmdr. [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]], ran off to France and tried to lull her into thinking he was the real [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] by drugging her. Like all villains, however, he made one fatal mistake: he told the senior staff all about his evil plan before leaving... and trusted [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]] to carry it out. Okay, two fatal mistakes: he told them his plan and trusted [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]]... and let [[Mar, Idril|Mar]] get close enough to correct [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] for him to clear her head with Borg nanites. Okay, ''three'' fatal mistakes... Anyway, some of the crew chased [[Wilde, Danny (alternate)|Alt. Wilde]], others chased [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]], [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]] chased [[Wilde, Danny (alternate)|Alt. Wilde]], and Ens. [[Trell, Breya|Trell]] wrestled Lt.J.G. [[Valis]] for Lt. [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]]'s love. Er... scratch that last part. | |||
Meanwhile, back at the Fleetyards... | |||
Some random group of mercenaries, including a single Gorn, attempted to steal the ''[[USS Ronin|Ronin]]'' for their own neffarious purposes, but a small group of Roninites (including Ens. [[Trell, Breya|Trell]] actually) struggled against them. The sweet, young, Andorian (i.e. [[Trell, Breya|Trell]]) managed to knock out the Warp Core just as the ''[[USS Arthur Royale]]'' swooped in to save the day, per Starfleet orders of course. Oddly enough, before any one officially involved in stopping the mercs accomplished anything, [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]] flew by in his stolen shuttle, the ''[[SS Idril Mar]]'', and beamed most of the Gorn merc off the ship. Yes, that said "most" of him. A bit here, a bit there, a grousomely severed head in Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]]'s quarters... But we're getting ahead of our selves: | |||
A bit before all that, in France, [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]] caught up with [[Wilde, Danny (alternate)|Alt. Wilde]] just before the team that was chasing him, a surprise [[Thelev, Jhen (alternate)|Alternate Thelev]] convinced [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]] to leave [[Wilde, Danny (alternate)|Alt. Wilde]] behind and fly off in the man's private shuttle (after beating him profusely, of course). Once [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]] had gone to technologically dismember the Gorn and plunder the galaxy, [[Thelev, Jhen (alternate)|Alt. Thelev]] revealed that he was in fact working solely for [[Wilde, Danny (alternate)|Alt. Wilde]] and convinced the man to give Captain [[Mar, Idril|Mar]] back to her crew... [[Wilde, Danny (alternate)|Alt. Wilde]] obligingly shot her up with more Borg nanites, died a crumbly [[Acute Cellular Decay|ACD]] death, and then [[Thelev, Jhen (alternate)|Alt. Thelev]] blew the two of them up to save the universe-natives from having to clean him up off the floor. | |||
Once all that had been sorted out, everyone met back at the [[Wilde Estate]] and had a couple quiet weeks of rehab and relaxation. Lt. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] moped about after having been crushed under a chandaleer. Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] ran off to a pub in Oxford and got himself wasted and paranoid for a day. Cmdr. [[Walker, Benjamin J.|Walker]] got his head shrunk by LtCmdr. [[Maria, Cara|Maria]], who later impressed Lt.J.G. [[Rogers, William|Rogers]] with her tree-floating abilities (she's quite the little ninja, actually). [[Sarion]] flirted with Lt.J.G. [[Rogers, William|Rogers]] a bit, but he was unable to set up a date with her, unlike Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] who sweet-talked his way into a chess date once they were back on the ''[[USS Ronin|Ronin]]''. However, when that time arrived, They were all stunned to learn that their [[Mar, Idril|Captain]] had been quarantined at Starfleet Medical and replaced by a Southern interloper... (Oooo, left you with a cliff-hanger...) | |||
... | |||
Oh yeah, and Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] finally came face-to-face with [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]]'s special gift... and promptly asked Lt. [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]] if he could have new quarters. | |||
==Shoreleave Log, Stardate 238602.12:== | |||
by LtCmdr. [[Kolk, Jackford|Jackford B. Kolk]] | |||
In those dark days when Captain [[Walker, Benjamin J.|Walker]] was still a Commander, and the crew of the ''[[USS Ronin|Ronin]]'' was broken by rankor and infighting... | |||
When the wounds of the late mission to [[Layte]] were still late in healing, and the nigh-deadly consequences of LtJG [[Shepard, Jack|Shepard]]'s hidden ailment were fresh on everyone's mind... | |||
When the reports were still being written and the Engineers hadn't yet begun to upgrade the [[ma:Dilithium articulation frame|Dilithium Articulation Frame]]... | |||
Just then, a brave new day dawned! A celebration would be had in the Holodecks of [[Deep Space 17]]: the grievances of old would be forgot, and the synthetic alcohol would soften the brains of all! | |||
So basically, here's how it went down: There was a big celebration where two people got promoted, and two people got awards. Then everyone went off to their own quarters and disappeared... Poopy heads. | |||
The End. | |||
... | |||
Oh... so you want details now? ... I glare at thee. | |||
... | |||
Cmdr. [[Walker, Benjamin J.|Walker]] announced that Lts. [[Cruise, Allen|Cruise]] and [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] would be stripped of their Lieutenanterishnesses and clepped "Lieutenant Commanders". [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] would be jabbed with many pointy awards (for details see his wiki 'cause I'm too angry and jealous to speak them aloud; pompous kiss-up). LtCmdr. [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] was awarded for being the absolute best Galactic President ever! (TOSMA II) and for keeping the morale of the entire Galaxy high despite the unexplained deaths of an entire species of Red Alert Bulbs (Neelix Award). Just as the crowd was about to spontaneously sing the Wilde Presidential Campaign fight song (they were, I swear!), Captain [[Mar, Idril|Mar]] showed up out of nowhere and dubbed the [[Walker, Benjamin J.|Walker]] "Sir Captain," laying aside once and for all any rumors that he might be in line for the rare and immensely prestigious rank of Captander. | |||
Once all the pomp and hullabaloo was over, many people talked, danced, and generally felt sorry for themselves. LtCmdr. [[Thomas, Kael|Thomas]] met his underling. His underling, Ens. [[Trolin, Keval|Trolin]], met a girl... and another girl... and a third girl, but he knew that one before. The first girl, Lt.JG [[Trell, Breya|Trell]], awoke feelings in him that he hadn't yet known were possible... and he promptly stuck both feet in his mouth and she left without even nibbling her dinner. The second girl, SCPO [[Granger, Jill|Granger]], was roused with feelings of her own, but he doesn't know yet and she's only just barely begun to realize that it's far too late to fight them. The third girl, Ens. [[Torsten, Asha|Torsten]] whom he already knew, shared a mysterious past with him, but they won't tell the rest of us what happened because they're meanies. He only danced with the first and third, but it's [[Granger, Jill|Granger]]'s fault; she skipped the party. Had she been there, he might've proven his true status as an unparalelled ladies' man, but alas, no such proof has yet surfaced. Speaking of unparalleled, LtCmdr. [[Cruise, Allen|Cruise]] talked to Ens. [[Torsten, Asha|Torsten]] as well and struck out miserably, thus prooving he has no power over the ladies. | |||
A few [[Independence-A Staff Roster|Indyites]], such as Lt. [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] and her boyfriend LtCmdr. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] joined their captain in crashing the hip, ''[[USS Ronin|Ronin]]'' party, but it's quick death can't really be blamed on them; Lt. [[Wood, Daniel|Wood]] played a song from the 20th Century and everyone realized how drunk they were when they found themselves loving the ancient tune. | |||
The next day a band of "Arthurian" adventurers, led by the obnoxious little Captain's Pet known as LtCmdr. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]], attempted to chase Morgana to her lair in order to save Merlin from having to kiss her. However, the group (comprised of LtCmdr. [[Cruise, Allen|Cruise]], Lt.JG [[Trell, Breya|Trell]], & Ensigns [[Trolin, Keval|Trolin]], [[Torsten, Asha|Torsten]], & [[Javinx, Renesme|Javinx]]) found themselves facing a poison-wielding giant from "Ender's Game". As they descended upon the giant's table (litterally... like, they fell), Ens. [[Javinx, Renesme|Javinx]], with the pink-flamingo hair, fell into LtCmdr. [[Cruise, Allen|Cruise]]'s lap (and he lived droolingly ever after). Then the group escaped the giant's trap, and again plopped their way into a bit of a snag. An evil Queen, bizarrely played by a non-period Xindi-Reptilian, declared that someone should run off with their heads, thus unleashing a torrent of guards hoping to be the someone. Fighting their way to the dungeon, they saved the wizard and the simulation ended with many a coy glance between the blue-skins (Lt.JG [[Trell, Breya|Trell]] & Ens. [[Trolin, Keval|Trolin]]) and between LtCmdr.[[Cruise, Allen|Cruise]] (the playa') and his new muse, Ens. [[Javinx, Renesme|Javinx]]. | |||
Thereafter, the Captain's Pet spent the rest of his leave moping about in his quarters while his Indy-bound girlfriend stood him up because she considered the insides of the ''Prometheus'' class ship far more attractive than his ugly mug. (I'm told he does have a rather nice looking thermos, though.) Oh, LtCmdrs. [[Cruise, Allen|Cruise]], [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]], and [[Thomas, Kael|Thomas]] talked about some weird little rock thing called [[Walkinium]], but from what my surveilance devices picked up, it was mission-related, so I slept through most of it... Speaking of sleeping through important missiony stuff, I need to get back to that. G'night! | |||
Signed, | |||
The Mysterious Shoreleave Archivist... | |||
[[Category:USS Ronin]] | [[Category:USS Ronin]] | ||
[[Category:Episodes]] | [[Category:Episodes|*]] | ||
[[Category:Kolk]] | |||