Lady Gabrielle

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Lady Gabrielle is a fitness instructor on Starbase 118. She is known for her somewhat inflated view of herself. This chronicler has chosen to delegate to her autobiography in describing her.

From Her Personal Biography

Lady Gabrielle was literally born on horseback while her mother, Princess Tatn'anah''aan of Magog was practising hunting in the wilderness south of the sea of reeds. Her horse, a stallion named Thunderous Zephyr, had just performed a jump over the perilous cliff of eternal perdition when the young princess started having contractions. Being an experienced rider, Princess Tatn'anah''aan was able to complete the birth and sever the umbillical cord just as her horse was coming close to collapsing of exhaustion. But this was not quite without incident, easy as pie, simple as one-two-three, etc. For it was in that harrowing moment that Princess Tatn'anah''aan did the unthinkable and dropped the infant, still covered in amniotic fluid from her heroic issuance into the world, on the ground by mistake from atop her steed. The baby Gabrielle collided with a great serpent and the impact rendered the said snake completely dead.

The serpent, which she subsequently came to name Georgiepie, became her first plaything. By age one and a half Lady Gabrielle had turned the decayed snake into a rattle. By age two she was riding Thunderous Zephyr through the city of Strong-Walled Uruk and terrorizing the great warriors such as Ankedu and Gilgamesh.

At age five her mother and father were both killed by lightning atop a hill, and Lady Gabrielle was raised by her uncle Kishmanishklixplicdadic, who was something like a weirdo, but the kind of weirdo who knows the secrets of alchemy and human strength and power and who can persevere even in life's toughest challenges, among which Lady Gabrielle surely ranked highest. Lady Gabrielle taught Kishmanishklixplicdadic many things, such as to fear no evil, to exercise restraint, and fishing.

By the time she was twelve Lady Gabrielle was running marathons atop Mount Olympus and chasing Zeus out of the men's washroom, which she utilized some sixty percent of the time she obeyed the call of nature.