Kelrod/Personal log

USS Invicta Log Entries

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2393

Security Marcus dickens Security Officer's Log (Stardate 239308.15) Computer start record. This will be the last log of me as Marcus Dickens as I can now work as Kelrod. Following the insistence of Commander Washington I've checked with SFI and they told me that my existance is not a level ten secret anymore, so I've been able to tell everyone that I'm Kelrod, I'm the one in charge of this body and I'll be the one with whom they'll work from now on, or better said, the one they've known since I came aboard. It's a relief and at the same time a pain, because those who already know are free to talk about me finally, those who worked with me but didn't know... I understand they'll feel betrayed because I've been lying to them, well, it was Marcus, but it doesn't mind. The fact is that from now on it'll be me, Kelrod and I intend to make the maximum of every day. So, in behalf of Marcus, despite that I know he won't say it like that, so long and thanks for all the fish. End log

Security Marcus dickens Security Officer's Log (Stardate 239311.06) Computer start record. Hello to anyone, that is listening this, from the 23rd century. I'm recording this on the old USS Venture and this could never reach anyone's ears because we're about to be destroyed. I can't give many details but you know how time travel policy is, and if you don't, you shouldn't be listening to this log. As you're still there I'll assume that you know what I'm talking about, but I wanted to say sometihng, if the Federation is at peace, things went well, if we're at war or Federation doesn't exist, ... I'm sorry. Sorry for having failed to the ideals and principles of it. As I don't have any real relatives to tell them about my fate, please, look for Commander Marcus Dickens relatives and tell them that he's brave in his convictions and that they should be proud of him. If I make it through this alive,... This will be embarrassing, but I hope to be embarrassed. End log

Security Marcus dickens Security Officer's Log (Stardate 239311.10) Computer start record. Where should I start... I don't even know if I'm supposed to talk about this, as it could lead against some temporal regulation. The fact is that again, I was involved in a time displacement, I'm beginning to think that I have some kind of magnetism to them. Anyway, we managed to avert a disaster with the Venture that managed to survive battling a monstruous machine and even Klingons. For a ship that old, it proved resilient enough, with the extreme care of Commander Walker and the job of the rest of the officers. In my case,... well, being severely injured in the first steps of the mission doesn't sounds well for someone whose job is to protect the others. I think I might need to work a bit more on my constitution, gain a few pounds of muscle to avoind being broken every now and then. Besides, I hope that captain Rahman,... or Washington... anyone will reinstate the full commander rank and leave that "provisional" behind. It's not enough that they put me to serve under a Lieutenant, I can live with that, but that "provisional" is really a ... burn. Anyway, I'll use this chance to finish and present the project for the SAR team to be oficially announced and hopefully introduced. Maybe I'll write Commander Tr'Khellian to see if he has some of his intel devices that could help me in my leader role, after all, he's one of the few intel officers I say I can trust. Anyway, Let's hope that our next mission doesn't require the use of the team, but if it comes to that, I'll be sure we're ready. End log

USS Veritas Log Entries

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Security Marcus dickens Security Officer's Log (Stardate 239311.24) Computer start record. This is it... another change. The Invicta crew is being reassigned but not together, but each one on his own. It was pretty while it lasted,... the SAR team, being with Raj again, Jolara, DeVeau.... Stiftani... Man, I thought I could know her better, she's amazing but destiny, a black hand or Starfleet is making a joke on me. With my luck, we might not see each other again, so I'll make this evening count. Look, I sound like a crazy in love,... I don't think it's love, I don't feel the expectative, the ... Well, we connected quite well and quickly but I guess she's just a wild woman with a strange interest in a strange specimen. Maybe if we've had more time, ... but that won't happen, so I'll end up well with her and move on my way. I've decided to take a leave to go with Raj on a personal quest, so when we come back we could be at the other end of the quadrant. Anyway, if you don't hear from me again, know that despite what happened on the Invicta, I've had a wonderful time. End log

2394

SAR Kelrod SAR Leader's Log (Stardate 239403.16) Computer start record. So, it's been quite some time but many things happened that kept me from recording, so here goes. We went to Shadow's edge to retrieve captain Carrero's body and to try to know what happened. The result is that she was in the wrong place at the wrong time, a target of oportunity, what gives us a picture of where we are. This is no fantasy land anymore, not Federation where you can sit down and relax. This place will keep us on our toes, watching over our shoulders, looking each other's backs. On one side I like that, it's my kind of nature, something long forgetten in the comfy ships and quarters of the Federation. On the other, it'll be a challenge, not only because of the certain danger but the constant mental threat that we'll endure. And now I have a weak spot... Harik is back, when I thought she'll be light years from here, she appeared. I don't know how this will end, I don't know if it'll work further than a friendly confident with occassional nights of passion. The truth is that there's something in her,... eyes, her energy, her ... I don't know what, but she's special. And I swear that if anyone dares to hurt her, better look for the deepest hole in a dark planet to hide from me. On the bright side,... if it could be named bright, Rahman is back and I like that, more after dealing with Washington. That man doesn't know how to bend a rule from time to time, it's even harder than me in trusting others, but he's far away now. I'll be keeping appointments with counselour Moonsong. I won't tell her, but I like her ... incisive mind. Sometimes I feel that she could pierce through any of my mental defenses, but she is a good starfleet officer and don't push herself in. About the rest... Well, things haven't changed that much, this shore leave no one invited me to anything, called me for anything... Tuk at least reminded me via message about our cooking lessons, so I might have to ask him for something. Desserts, sauces, bakery... not sure. Well, it's enough for today, I hope I could do this more often from now on. End log

SAR Kelrod SAR Leader's Log (Stardate 239405.25) Computer start record. This is... frustrating! I've followed the rules, located our people, rescued them, brought them home and when I'm told to break the prime directive and I do what I feel better to preserve the directive as much as I can, .... I got scolded! For what I know Rahman is a good captain, she knew how to deal with issues like that, but I fail to see why those people had to be brought aboard. I mean, Maybe, there's a chance that they'll survive their hunt and become someone of relevance on their planet. Who knows what those people could do with information and technology of our century. We're now responsible of those people, responsible of what happens to them and what they do to others. I'm getting used to being the SAR leader, I thought that this would give me some liberty to do things my way, but the fact is that I depend on other departments and when I make a big decision, it's questioned. I know I'm not from this people nature, but I thought I managed to understand them and gained their respect. I wonder if what happened with Washington could be the sign of what would be my future from now on. Well, that's one thing, I have other things in mind, like the new shuttle. The Maelstrom had proven that there are things in the Shoals that we've not seen, nor experienced before, that thing seemed somehow intelligent to a degree. I have to talk with Walker and the First Officer to start the project of "The Shadow" as it's clear that we need something even better than the standard type-18, something that could withstand extreme conditions and that could accomodate the extraction of a standard away team, without jeopardizing the operations on it, as it's proved the last time, having the locals transported aboard with Delano and Ryan. We're almost one over the other. I hope that Walker find that as a challenge and that she accepts it, giving us a powerful tool to do our job here on the Shoals. End log

SAR Kelrod SAR Leader's Log (Stardate 239410.20) Computer start record. The last days have been... unique, to say the least. We've been to Antor II where the Klingon Jilor attacked the planet with a quantum torpedo, pressumably stolen and created a subspace tear within the planet, on the impact site. More surprisingly the tear didn't dissapear inmediately, but remained, threatening to grow and provoking a genocide. We've averted it and found a secret installation but before we could discover what's there, we found some mercenaries, including a Cardassian and we were forced to leave. But what make those last days really unique were a... incredible news. I've been dating Ensign Stiftani Harik, here and there, we shared some ... chemistry, she wasn't afraid of me, nor suspicious, just gentle, caring, ... we've had our passionate days, somehow she made me feel ... free, to be myself, made me feel important, on a personal level, no distrust, no doubts... she was like Raj, but being a woman. Oh my... when Raj finds out... he won't believe it. The important fact is that ... oh, it's amazing,.... she told me that... I'm to be a FATHER! Me! Can you believe it? Oh, maybe you're listening to this. I still don't know if you're a boy or a girl, but I don't care. I was stunned, shocked, freezed, when she told me. I've reacted like a retard, I confess. But after ... how much it was... two hundred,... three hundred years bodyless, then merging with Marcus and seeing life through his eyes, seeing him with Vojana, I'd lost all hopes for something like this to happen to me. But,... here we are.... with me realizing that my hands shaked, my voice trembled, my legs melted... My father left my mother when I was so young, I never forgot nor forgiven him for that, even when he reached to me when I was coming of age. He didn't deserves me, my mother raised me alone, fell ill and finally died without having the chance to live a full life, I had to grow up quick, be strong, no time or money for good comodities or to enjoy summers together as we would have liked. Because of this I've realized that I don't want you to doubt that I'll love you forever, I might become hard on some aspects with you, but it's only because I plan to be the father that I lacked. Forgive me for any mistake that I might make on the road that we'll walk together and I hope that someday, you'll be able to walk your own path and that you'll have the tools and the assurance that I love you and hope that you'll love me too. Anytime, anywhere, no matter what, no matter when, no matter why, I'll be your father and I'll be with you. End log

SAR Kelrod SAR Leader's Log (Stardate 239411.13) Computer start record. We've finally made it a reality. The modification of the Type 10 shuttle for the SAR team that will be known from now on as Shadow. We've also been tasked to modify a second shuttle, the Prospero, so the Veritas will be even more versatile and we'll be engaging some trials in a few hours to check their performance in the Shoals. I'm confident with the Shadow as I've had the help of Luna, commander Walker, the Chief engineer of the Veritas. I've served with her for a few years on different ships and if she says something will work, I'll believe her. I'd like to recognize too Lieutenant Commander Delano and ensign Wolfe, a new science officer, that helped with the sensors and scientific approach of the shuttle. So, it seems that I'm settling in as the SAR leader, gaining confidence everyday, with every mission. Once I'm back from this trials I'll need to have a talk with the captain, I'd like to tell her that I'll be the father to Harik's child and that we intend to live together. I still have to talk and meet her parents, that'll come with time and I hope I'll be ready for it. It still amazes me that I could feel this way after more than a century of existance... But I've never been a father, so... I guess it's normal. Aside from that personal feeling, I still find difficult to interact with some of the crew, they're specially,... ellusive, or just not interested in interpersonal relationship with my persona. I wonder if it's something natural on them but something tells me that they still don't feel comfortable with me as they still can see Marcus on me. Talking about that, he's also happy for the baby news, but is somehow hesitant to feel the full extent of joy, because in his mind he expects something to go wrong and be deceived again. I have to admit that part of those thoughts and feelings permeate me and I can't avoid it, but I'm eager to try to put them aside and be happy with Harik and the baby. Just in case something happens I'd like to leave here that I love Frankie a lot and that despite that I still don't know you, I love you my child and I want you to grow happy and strong, be good with your mother and made us both proud of your accomplishments. End log

SAR Kelrod SAR Leader's Log (Stardate 239701.13) Computer start record. After a strange experience in some kind of subspace void that trapped us during a race near the Ketar system, we're in orbit undergoing repairs. At the end of those, we're notified that secretary Ventu has arrived to participate in some dimplomatic mission with the Ketar government and the Romulan and Reman refugees that live on the planet. It seems that there are tensions rising leading to a confrontation between the refugees and the other Ketar V inhabitants, after the election of the refugees representative, Tessara. we are to provide protection to the secretary's meetings with the Ketar V Governor and most probably with Tessara herself. This time we'll focus on the protection of the secretary and the rest of the people involved in the talks along the CCMS who will also provide crowd control and general protection during the secretary's visit. I must say that having someone like the secratary to protect is a huge responsibility, but I'll do my best to assure that the conversations run as smoothly as possible and to forge a better relationship with the Marshalls after the incident at Welder's dinner. On a personal note my... interest on a certain Lieutenant has proven another dead end, hitting a wall in quite a hard way. at least this time I haven't been given expectations and she's been honest from the beginning. I must say that Raissa has been... let's say a pivotal figure in this realization, what makes me wonder if she's still a great counselor or she just played some kind of practical joke with me and amused herself in the process. Anyway, I feel that my life is in order again, with just me and my work, no distractions and no liabilities. I'd have talked with the Counselor about this, but he's been so busy becoming first and second officer that I told him that my previous call for a talk wasn't necessary, but... I'll deal with it on my own. End log