SIM:Adarnis – The Titanic

‘’’(JP) Major Adarnis & Lt. T'Lea - The Titanic’’’

(( Sickbay, USS Constitution-B ))

:: Who knows how long she'd slept, but it had been a very good rest. Unfortunately she woke to the same empty feeling nagging in her chest as before. A feeling like something, correction, someone was missing.::

:: Sitting up slowly so as to avoid a dizzy spell, T'Lea climbed off the biobed for the first time since being returned to her body and planted her feet firmly on the ground. With one hand resting on the bed, just in case, she checked her balance. Sturdy enough, she thought and took a couple of steps getting a feel for walking. Her brain impulses and muscles responded beautifully.::

:: Moving around, flexing her elbow and toes, it continued to amaze her how vibrant and alive everything felt. Maybe the nanites had fixed her too well. She hadn't felt this good in years. Motor functions were perfect, speech, vocabulary, reasoning, everything was perfect. Perfect, she suspiciously thought. Nothing was perfect. Not even the nanites. Tash was proof of that. A moment of worry as she wondered when or if it would happen to her… the metal invasion.::

:: Walking back to the biobed she picked up her chart with one hand and sipped the cup of coffee a nurse had brought by. The beverage was not her favorite, but she didn't even think twice as she swallowed the muddy flavored liquid, and tried to make sense of the medical jargon she was looking at. She was starting to piece together something relating to her crash after the Katra refusion when a voice found her.::

Adarnis: You're awake.

:: Her eyes instantly went to him. Dade was standing in the doorway looking incredibly handsome and a little stupefied. His presence was just as surprising to her as hers was to him apparently.::

T'Lea: You're here.

:: The chart was discarded on the biobed beside her and she cupped the mug in both hands, anticipation steaming off the coffee as her eyes took him in.::

Adarnis: I didn't expect it. If I'd known, I would've brought you grapes or whatever they give sick people in here.

T'Lea: Grapes? ::curious Vulcan brow:: I don't follow.

:: Either he didn't hear or he didn't care as he glanced back at the door. It wasn't important anyway. Although now she'd have to look up the grapes reference, otherwise it would be bugging her all day. What *was* important was that he was there, and she was happy about it. Happy. Happy to see him. Happy to be with him. Happy. When was T'Lea ever happy? The nanites definitely got something screwed up in her brain, or was she emotionally vulnerable because she'd been hanging out with Vetri too long.::

Adarnis: Vetri's been here, I think. I haven't been 'till now.

:: A sip of coffee to cover the smirk she felt coming on. He was lying. She'd taken Della's body for a joyride when he came to see her. And now the smirk tainted into a frown as she recalled how completely broken he'd looked. Knowing that she'd done that to him didn't help matters.::

T'Lea: How could you? You didn't know.

:: He wasn't supposed to know. He still wasn't supposed to know. But there he was tempting her, and here she was giving in.::

:: He exhaled and nodded.:: Adarnis: Right... I'll be going then. Glad you're better.

T'Lea: ::off the bed abruptly:: Don't go.

:: That came out sounding desperate. It seemed to work though, he wasn't leaving, but he was kind of stuck in the doorway. T'Lea set down the coffee mug with a sigh, and when next she spoke, she gently reached for his hand and pulled him back in the room. The touch, much to her relief, didn't set off any painful alarms in her brain. The chip was truly gone, sadly along with their bond.::

T'Lea: I'd rather not be alone. Stay?

:: She let her hand slide from his, giving him the opportunity to leave as she turned back to the muddy mug of coffee. It was all she could do to stop herself from touching him elsewhere. The warmth of the cup would have to suffice for now, because what she needed to do next had been a long time coming.::

:: Reason went out the window when she pulled him back in, however, he maintained a safe distance between them in case the plea of loneliness was an excuse to throw something at him. When she'd touched his hand, whether she'd meant to or not, brought back some fleeting memories. Looking at her, he couldn't decide whether the emotions he felt were meant to be there.::

:: Sitting herself on the biobed again, T'Lea looked into the brown liquid, and then back up at the Marine resolve showing on her features. The only thing she lacked was a starting point.::

T'Lea: What do you want to know?

:: Now that was a question.::

:: He slipped his left hand into his pocket, as though the motion would defend him in some way. What could he ask? What did he want to know? He wanted to know everything. Everything and then some more. All of it, wrapped into one tidy T'Lea shaped bundle. What he wanted, he couldn't have and more importantly she wouldn't give him.::

Adarnis: What are you going to tell me that I could need to know?

:: How about everything, she thought sheepishly staring at his glossy boots. She needed to tell him everything from the chip screwing up their physical closeness, to Black Ops faking their deaths, to how she felt about him, and everything small insignificant detail in between. Instead not a word came out of her mouth as she dipped her head and tried to figure out a way to make him understand.::

Adarnis: What could you say? That this was all just a bad joke? You didn't want anything to do with me and now you want me to stay?

:: Hearing his onslaught of questions and put it the way that he did stung, a lot. She took it. She'd been callous and cruel to him. She'd had to be at the time. Now she was far from it.::

T'Lea: It's complicated. The chip in my head, the one Toni removed, it was just the beginning. I had to. It was the only way to -- maybe it was the wrong way, but--

:: Yep, that made total sense, she thought shutting up before she confused both of them even more.::

:: He scratched the back of his neck. Thinking for a second, he asked the first thought that jumped up.::

Adarnis: Why?

T'Lea: ::sighing:: Why what?

:: There were a million reasons why, but she couldn't even begin to fathom which why he wanted an answer to.::

:: His hand dropped back to the side.::

Adarnis: Why didn't you just tell me?

:: He anticipated the response. Their fight outside the Lounge had said as much. She didn't care, she never had. She'd planted a flag and he'd read more into it then was there. Everything they'd been through had meant nothing, completely nothing. He waited for it; the barrage of abuse, the cries of hatred from his previous lover, the lack of feeling, the detachment when all he felt for her was the opposite.::

Adarnis: Why di-

T'Lea: ::barking:: Because I love you! Because I care about you! Because I didn't want to see you die for me!

:: Silence. A subtle, uncomfortable shift on the biobed before T'Lea slid off and set down the coffee mug on a nearby meal tray.::

T'Lea: ::softer:: Because Intel. is after information and if they find out about it, ::crinkling her brow, sorrowfully::, about you, they'll bring you in just like they did to me.

:: She went on to tell him everything in a repentant but firm voice, what the chip was designed to do, how it had consequently affected their bond, why she couldn't touch him at the time, where she was when he thought she was dead, and the reason why Black Ops. had played their deaths against each other.::

T'Lea: … the day I lost my Honor Blade, you remember?

:: She was talking about the gateway located on N'Dallis Prime. The one they'd found and briefly activated.::

:: He nodded. Everything had changed that day and not for the better. He'd seen a different side of T'Lea for weeks; her Vulcan side in full swing. It'd been different but not the woman he loved or wanted. That day she'd given her life to save them, not knowing what would happen at the end of it, burying her Honour Blade under a million tonnes of sand.::

T'Lea: It all goes back to that day.

:: Stepping over she tentatively reached up to put both hands on either side of his head, and when he didn't entirely recoil at her touch she let her thumb caress his temple.::

T'Lea: That's what they are after. That's what they want... what you have etched in your mind, and what I know. We can't let them have it. ::pausing:: They suspect you, because of our relationship, and I thought--

:: Wagging her head at herself, she took her hands away and turned.::

T'Lea: I thought I was protecting you. I thought if we had nothing to do with each other they'd leave you alone. ::to herself:: But that's not right. ::to Dade:: I can't protect you. I don't even know how to protect myself. I just know that I love you. ::shrugging at the fact and putting her heart on the line and herself right in front of him.:: I love you.

:: Dade looked at her, really looked. Gorgeous blue eyes staring at him, wanting him to give an answer he couldn't give. He loved her too, he always had. He wanted to be with her in every way they could. He wanted to protect her, to be there when she needed him, to be her armor. He needed her and right then and there could've given in.::

:: He stepped closer, touching her hands with his and getting close enough to feel the warmth of her face, her lips. It created a small series of explosions inside his heart. Accompanying them were tears pricking at the corners of his eyes were the temptation was threatening to burst through.::

Adarnis: I need you... ::a tear rolled down his cheek:: I want you so much.

:: Holding him with her eyes she parted her lips in eager anticipation, his words instantly penetrating the coldest part of her soul, melting the icy fortress that she'd surrounded herself in for years. She had completely exposed herself, for him, and for once in her life being that vulnerable to someone didn't feel like a weakness.::

:: Then he pulled back. Pulled back and stepped back. Another tear plummeted down his face, followed by another but he was through the doorway and out of Sickbay before he could wipe them away.::