SIM:Lael Rosek - Late Night Part I (Gorkon)

Previous sim "Hot Tub Party, Part III"	Lieutenant Junior Grade Lael Rosek HCO Officer Starbase 118 USS Gorkon NCC 82293	Next sim "Late Night, Part II"
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OOC: Set after Lael & Dassa’s “Shooting the Breeze” OOC2: Set after Chythar’s “Serious Conversations”

((Observation Lounge, USS Gorkon))

Lael stared blankly at the cup of Ligonian spice tea in her hands, her knees tucked closely against her chest. She swallowed roughly, her throat tight from the unshed tears that she refused to let free. It hadn’t been a good day. She’d been late for her shift and she’d spent most of it thinking about Jansen. She closed her eyes and exhaled a shaky breath. It stung to know that she’d messed things up so badly...again. When would she ever learn?::

CD ran a hand along his face, and walked into the lounge. There was no canine at his heels at the moment, the little beagle was asleep in his room. Chythar gave a yawn as he ordered some coffee and joined his friend at her table.::

Skyfire: This seat taken, lass?

Lael looked up at Chythar, her lips tightening slightly before her gaze returned to her mug.::

Rosek: ::murmurs:: No.

CD sits down and sips on his coffee, extending a hand towards her with an inquisitive brow.::

Skyfire: What’s got you bothered?

Lael felt her temper threatening to get the best of her and closed her eyes to fight it. It wouldn’t do any good to yell. Besides, after the whole thing with Jansen, she hated the idea of making a scene.::

Rosek: ::murmurs:: Jansen...you...everything.

Skyfire: Come again? I mean, I know my relationship with Alex was a bit sudden…I’m still your friend.

Rosek: ::tenses:: ::bitterly:: Yeah. Friend.

Chythar pulled his hand back, contemplating his word choice. He wasn’t about to walk away, as she clearly needed to vent. Yet, at the same time it seemed like she was pushing him back and wanted to be left alone. He had another sip of his coffee and just watched her, ready to listen.::

Rosek: ::sighs:: I’m sorry. I just...ever since you and Alex have gotten together, I’ve felt...I don’t know, abandoned I guess. We used to hang out and talk all the time. Now it seems like you barely have any time for me. ::exhales heavily::

Skyfire: What? No way that’s true. We still hang out and talk fairly often. I juggle my calendar all the time to make space for my friends.

Rosek: ::pauses and sighs:: ::shakes her head and murmurs:: I guess it’s not you, specifically. ::swallows roughly:: Jansen was just such a big part of my life. Since we… ::worries her lip:: split, I have this giant empty space that no matter how hard I try, I can’t fill it. ::rasps:: Now that you’re with Alex...I don’t begrudge you being happy, Chythar. But before...I felt needed. ::a tear slips free:: You needed me and it gave me a purpose. Our lessons...everything. The world was a bit brighter.

He nodded faintly in understanding. The muscles in his hand with his coffee cup were starting to tense up from the residual emotion. He took a slow breath and forced them to relax a bit, motioning for her to continue.::

Rosek: ::murmurs:: I miss when things were easier. ::smiles wanly:: I miss being the center of someone’s world. When we spent time together, I could pretend we weren’t living in hell. I miss being touched and held and… ::gaze drops to her tea:: Do you remember the confession you made that night in the lounge...about how you had wanted to ask me to dance at the Halloween gala?

CD nodded faintly and smiled a bit.::

Rosek: ::smiles shyly:: I was flattered. ::gaze locks with his:: I thought it was endearing...what you said.

Skyfire: And we danced, but that was before… ::He paused, as though mentioning the name would invoke another wave of jealousy against his shields.::

Rosek: ::blushes:: I know...Alex. I just...You have a good heart, Chythar, and are more charming than you realize.

Skyfire: So I’ve heard.

Lael swallowed roughly and took another sip of her tea to cover the bitter twist of her lips. Her mind wandered a moment, exploring the possibility. She shivered at the thought of what could have been.::

Rosek: ::sighs:: I was so sure that what I had with Jansen was strong enough to endure anything. ::laughs bitterly:: Turns out no love is strong enough to endure if you don’t let it in.

Skyfire: And if you do, you can only strengthen it.

Rosek: ::murmurs:: I saw Jansen yesterday.

Here, CD managed to blink in confusion and raise an eyebrow quizzically.::

Skyfire: And…?

Rosek: ::grimaces:: Turns out I jumped to conclusions. He wasn’t trying to break up...only propose a long engagement. ::swallows roughly:: When it finally sank in, I was praying the deck would open under my feet so I’d have a hole to hide in.

An interesting change of events, to be sure. He wasn’t entirely sure what that meant for her and Jansen, but it was probably still off given the events that transpired over their last leave.::

Skyfire: And when the deck didn’t open...what happened?

Lael closed her eyes, her lips tightening as she relived every tumultuous emotion that had threatened to consume her.::

Rosek: ::murmurs:: I apologized. He said he had unpacking to do. I left. ::shivers:: He was so...cold. So impersonal. Like he couldn’t get far enough away from me.

Again, CD nodded. Break-ups tended to have that effect on people, though in his case before it had been just pure rejection with a hint of screaming in between.::

Rosek: ::murmurs:: I can’t stand myself. ::blinks back tears:: I feel like the worst kind of person. ::swallows roughly:: It doesn’t help that I completely took advantage of the fact that Anjar has feelings for me. I used him and I feel awful for it.

Skyfire: So you’re afraid of rebound?

Rosek: ::laughs humorlessly:: It’s not rebound when you feel nothing for the person you slept with. Not like that.

--- LtJG Lael Rosek HCO Officer USS Gorkon I238110RH0

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Lieutenant Commander Chythar Skyfire Chief Medical Officer USS Gorkon, NCC-82293 History Team Co-Facilitator Medical Duty Post Facilitator Dear Doc Columnist Podcast Script Writer O239002CS0 http://wiki.starbase118.net/wiki/index.php/Chythar_Skyfire