Ronin Shoreleave Archive: Difference between revisions

Although not necessarily a full shoreleave, the crew of the [[USS Ronin]] leaped full speed (Warp 9, to be exact--alright, so the [[USS Ronin|Ronin]] could go faster given that Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] had logged a top speed of Warp 9.9 the first time Cpt. [[Idril Mar|Mar]] had entrusted the ship to his command, but let's be honest: we wouldn't want to seem too eager to get off work and join a party, would we?) toward a well-planned, tri-ship award/promotion ceremony aboard the [[USS Ursa Major]] in orbit of [[Wheeler Colony]]. To our credit, the true fun could never have begun without us; they even needed our fighters give that extra bit of flare to the ceremony.  

The (secretly) ex-pirate Ensign, Mr. [[Shepard, Jack|Shepard]] got promoted to Lieutenant J.G., while the (openly) ex-pirate [[Deveraux, Alandra|Alandra Deveraux]] wasn't even invited (that's prejudice for you). The insanely versatile Tactical Counseling Diplomatic Catering Officer, Ensign [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] also got promoted to J.G., but we all saw that one coming. No one with four jobs in 1.3 missions is going to stay at the bottom wrung for long, unless the Captain wants to appear heartless. The irresistible, yet amazingly perpetually single, Lt. Commander [[Maria, Cara|Maria]] was awarded the Nebula bar, perhaps for her nebulously undefinable ability to attract and yet elude her fellow officers. Lt. Commander [[Walker received the Kalendra Award for being exceptionally devious (especially in his ability to evade a honeymoon). Lt. Commander [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] was honored with the Sheathed Sword in recognition of previously being honored with the gift of unrecognizably roasted limbs by the lovable (but never to be trusted) [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|'Evil' Kolk]] and thus being out of commission for several months. Lt. [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair-Walker]] was awarded the B-Plot Award for having miraculously managed to have a life, on another starship no less, despite having yolked herself to the exceptionally devious Lt. Commander [[Walker, Benjamin J.|Walker]]. Lt. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] was awarded the Order of Starfleet Merit and Achievement, First Class for being an all around swell guy (What? You think I'm gonna bash my boss? He could throw me inside the Warp Core and start it up! ...besides he also writes for Ens. [[Reed, Sarah|Reed]], and she's hot! Wouldn't want to ruin my chances...). Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] (that's me) received the Neellix Award for having the astounding ability to be eminently likable despite having the ugliest looking head in the universe--oh wait, sorry; I was thinking of the guy they named it after. Lt. [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]] received the Purple Star because well... he misses his blue toes and needed something to distract him from their loss. Lt. J.G. [[Parker, Addison|Parker]] received the Order of Starfleet Merit and Achievement, Second Class for having the good sense to dump me and run. And, finally, Lt. J.G. [[Rogers, William|Rogers]] received the Barclay Bead for finding the time improve the quality of his written reports while still managing to keep up with his obligatory shooting matches with hostile aliens.  

It all began with an old love song sung by Dr. [[Calhan, Jophry|Calhan]] from the [[USS Ursa Major]], during which Lt. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] danced with J.G. [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] (boxing gloves off), at least until they decided to mingle with [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]]'s friends. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] introduced her to LtCmdr. [[Walker, Benjamin J.|Walker]] and his newish bride (married a while but torn apart before their honeymoon by the heartless monster that is Starfleet's bureaucracy) Lt. [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair-Walker]] (formerly, and still occasionally, known as Adair). The girls laughed, the boys chatted, and LtCmdr. [[Walker, Benjamin J.|Walker]] tried to decide whether [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] should die for dating his best friend (he's very possessive). Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] thanked LtCmdr. [[Maria, Cara|Maria]] for playing ghost-sister to him by nearly crying all over her table and asking her to dance. The Lt. then switched to anger-mode upon seeing Ens. [[Reed, Sarah|Reed]] and promptly ordered her to dance with him... angrily. They battled briefly, words flying, and then... fell in love. Or did they? (Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion!). After being left baffled on the dance floor, Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] went to the bar, where Lt. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] asked him to dance. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]]'s hopes of dancing with his ACEy-yO were thwarted when Lt. [[Banks, Susan|Banks]] from the [[USS Ursa Major|Ursa]] answered his call to the dance floor instead of [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]]. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] then took a moment to commiserate about his lonely state with an Independence officer, Lt. [[Cruise, Allen|Cruise]], until Lt. [[Ventu, Lily|Ventu]] came over looking for a dance partner. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] foisted the recently betrothed [[Ventu, Lily|Ventu]] onto the unsuspecting [[Cruise, Allen|Cruise]] while J.G. [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]], technically [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]]'s date, danced with another Engineer, J.G. [[Sharpe, Paul|Sharpe]], ACEy-yO of the Indy (boxing gloves on). [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] broke free of [[Banks, Susan|Banks]], [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] gracefully excused herself from [[Sharpe, Paul|Sharpe]], and the two danced happily ever after (boxing gloves off). Meanwhile LtCmdr. [[Maria, Cara|Maria]] joined the congratulations crowd, getting lost in it for a while and growing an empathic headache (much like a Chia-Pet) until [[Walker, Benjamin J.|Walker]] "saved her" by tossing her, unarmed, at the ravenous Ambassador Joanna Wilde. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] and [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] went back to dancing, but were interrupted by a strange telepathic human of mysterious background and then by the Ambassador. [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] (boxing gloves on) shook the Mystery Man's, Captain Gersh Nathan's, hand and was nonetheless exposed to his disturbing psyche ([[Haliian]] are touch-telepathic, you know). The [[USS Ursa Major|Ursa]] crew saved the cute couple from the Ambassador, and Mystery Man moved on, leaving them to dance again (boxing gloves off). While all this was going on, [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair(-Walker)]] poured synthehol into a plant to replace it with real Scotch, used that to get a [[Vulcan]] (Lt. [[Salak]]) drunk, and picked a fight with an [[Andorian]] (Lt. [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]]). [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]] took the honorable path and ducked out of the fight... by stealing her flask and running. He tossed the flask away to distract her, but Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] didn't think that was a good enough diversion, so he snatched it, called to the Scot, and emptied it into the same plant as the synthehol (lucky plant). Outside in the hallway, Capt. [[Idril Mar|Mar]] and LtCmdr. [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] had a brief chat with [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]] until [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] came running by warning of the ensuing Scottish invasion and whisking the [[Andorian]] away. [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] and [[Idril Mar|Mar]] laughed at the young men and went about their merry way. [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair(-Walker?)]] cornered the the other two and [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] had them all (Lts. [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair]], [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]], & [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]]) beamed to the [[Double Shot]] (that's on the Ronin) where he stole the Scot some Scotch and the three became fast friends (he may have also bribed her with the promise of a few more cases from Earth). The three Lts. returned to the [[USS Ursa Major|Ursa]] where LtCmdr. [[Maria, Cara|Maria]] was being hit on by Lt. [[Cruise, Allen|Cruise]] of the Indy while she tried to go home. [[Thelev, Jhen|Jhen]] saved the day, which left [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] to dance with [[Adair, Ronan Tully|Adair]], but she was soon beamed to a private holosuite on the [[USS Ronin|Ronin]] to enjoy her, ahem, "Walkerdom". While [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] played Kirk, wooing ladies left and right till night was day, [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] and [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] finished the evening in his quarters getting splashed with water by his spawn, [[Brice, Matthew|Baby Hollenbricedaleson]].  

 

After being saved from the surface of Dune - err, I mean ::cough:: Rakis - by a group of [[Ferengi]] who had been trying to steal the ''[[USS Ronin|Ronin]]'', the gallant (and now 10% dead) crew soon became a bit more bored and frustrated then gallant (though just as dead). But that's okay, they were just being towed to [[DS17]] in a ship that could barely handle warp three without groaning and crumbling miserably to the aethers. To celebrate their miserable state, they threw a party in the Double Shot on the way to [[DS17]], at which time Lt. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] conspired to give Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] the pleasure of promoting Ens. [[Reed, Sarah|Reed]] to Lt.J.G. Then, on the long trip to [[Earth]] for more extensive repairs than [[DS17]] could give, several of the crew got their heads shrunk by Lt.J.G. [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]], others were killed on stage in the Scottish play (the Counselor figured, "We've just watched 1/10th of our number killed for real; I think now would be a good time to remind us of our mortality with a dark, bloody play that sometimes gets its actors killed"... yup, that's why we consider her the best counselor in the fleet!)

Upon reaching [[Earth]], some crewmembers actually found time to relax - Lt.J.G. [[Rogers, William|Rogers]] tried to woo [[Sarion]], but merely wound up flashing a nun; Lt. [[Kolk, Jackford|Kolk]] showed Lt.J.G. [[Reed, Sarah|Reed]] around Seattle, but the French-speaking Brit-femme disappeared more than once to rendezvous with her an old flame to whom she was secretly betrothed - but before long the senior staff were forced to endure yet another wedding ceremony - this time that of Captain [[Mar, Idril|Mar]] and LtCmdr. [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] - followed by a rather stressful investigation of the bride's near-immediate disappearance. (Any speculation that the honeymoon was short-lived and possibly the worst in the history of the Federation is, at best, an understatement.) As it turns out, LtCmdr. [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]]'s alternate universe counterpart ([[Wilde, Danny (alternate)|Alt. Wilde]] for short) kidnapped Captain [[Mar, Idril|Mar]] and the real LtCmdr. [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]], ran off to France and tried to lull her into thinking he was the real [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] by drugging her. Like all villains, however, he made one fatal mistake: he told the senior staff all about his evil plan before leaving... and trusted [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]] to carry it out. Okay, two fatal mistakes: he told them his plan and trusted [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]]... and let [[Mar, Idril|Mar]] get close enough to correct [[Wilde, Danny|Wilde]] for him to clear her head with Borg nanites. Okay, ''three'' fatal mistakes... Anyway, some of the crew chased [[Wilde, Danny (alternate)|Alt. Wilde]], others chased [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]], [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]] chased [[Wilde, Danny (alternate)|Alt. Wilde]], and Ens. [[Trell, Breya|Trell]] wrestled Lt.J.G. [[Valis]] for Lt. [[Thelev, Jhen|Thelev]]'s love. Er... scratch that last part.

A bit before all that in France, [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]] caught up with [[Wilde, Danny (alternate)|Alt. Wilde]] just before the team that was chasing him, a surprise [[Thelev, Jhen (alternate)|Alternate Thelev]] convinced [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]] to leave [[Wilde, Danny (alternate)|Alt. Wilde]] behind and fly off in the man's private shuttle (after beating him profusely, of course). Once [[Kolk, Jackford (alternate)|Evil Kolk]] had gone to fighte the Gorn and plunder the galaxy, [[Thelev, Jhen (alternate)|Alt. Thelev]] revealed that he was in fact working solely for [[Wilde, Danny (alternate)|Alt. Wilde]] and convinced the man to give Captain [[Mar, Idril|Mar]] back to her crew... [[Wilde, Danny (alternate)|Alt. Wilde]] obligingly shot her up with more Borg nanites, died a crumbly [[Acute Cellular Decay|ACD]] death, and then [[Thelev, Jhen (alternate)|Alt. Thelev]] blew the two of them up to save the universe-natives from having to clean him up off the floor.

A few [[Independence-A Staff Roster|Indyites]], such as Lt. [[Ehlanii, Karynn|Ehlanii]] and her boyfriend LtCmdr. [[Brice, Ethan|Brice]] joined their captain in crashing the hip, ''[[USS Ronin|Ronin]]'' party, but it's quick death can't really be blamed on them; Lt. Wood played a song from the 20th Century and everyone realized how drunk they were when they found themselves loving the ancient tune.

[[Category:Episodes]]