SIM:Della Vetri - Dancing on eggshells
((USS Indria-A, Crew Lounge))
Vetri: I'm not expecting to get much sleep anyway, Commander, oO Thank you, T'Lea Oo So I guess there's no time like the present. My office?
Tash: Certainly.
Hopefully he didn't simply die along the way. He felt slow from general fatigue, but reasoned that this was best done now. Otherwise he would dread it every waking moment.
She felt relieved when he agreed. This was going to be hard enough as it was, but at least now she'd have some kind of home-field advantage on her side. Motioning Zubowskivich to lead, she followed him out of the lounge.
Tash tried not to let the sinking feeling take hold as he took the first steps out of the Meet’n’Greet. He’d hardly known Vetri. Hadn’t even introduced himself up to this point, really. Sure, she was on the run to the Romulan border with Captain Rocar, but so had a hodgepodge of all sorts of ensigns Tash had not yet met.
Yes, he could have introduced himself then… but… damn. It was the Romulan aide.
That had to be it. Vetri had been right there when he’d taken off the mans head. She hadn’t met him before, and the first thing he does in her presence is kill a man. It occurred to him for the first time that he must have seemed like a sociopath in that moment… he recalled it vividly, and without the Ketrazine dulling his emotional capacity, he could understand how that sort of action would have affected anybody nearby who hadn't been prepared for it.
Well… if that wasn’t the worse first impression possible.
He didn’t stop until they reached her office, as she had dictated, but of course he let her enter first. He tried to read her expression as she stepped past him through the door…
This was going to be difficult.
((Counselor Vetri’s Office))
Tash stepped in behind Vetri, taking in her office. It was unlike Sharee’s… he was almost wishing the temperamental Texan was here now. He knew she’d get pissed at him for every little thing, but at least he knew what to expect. The Trill woman was an enigma… joined, likely experienced beyond her physical years, and more intelligent than would be expected as well.
To actually get on the bad side of a Trill was a difficult thing.
He moved in, but didn’t sit. Vetri didn’t exactly seem to relax either.
Tash: If you’d like to do this another time…?
It was an honest offer, though he doubted another time would affect their social chemistry.
Moving to put the desk between the two of them, Della keyed up Tash's psych reports on her screen, but didn't even look at them as the urge to scrap this whole idea rattled around her brain.
Vetri: Too be perfectly honest, Commander, one time's pretty much as bad as another at the moment.
Another moment passed, and he took a plunge. Someone had to get them past this first hurdle.
Tash: Is it the Romulan aide that’s bothering you? You have to understand… Captain Rocar was in danger. No matter the other… circumstances… it was unfortunate, but I did what any security officer is trained to do.
Vetri: Yes... the runabout. A little extreme on the reaction there, don't you think? Even a slight warning to the rest of us might have been nice...
He couldn’t help the slight rise of anger… but beat it down with a blunt mental stick. He didn't have the energy to get angry. Instead, he simply responded, with all earnesty.
Tash: There’s a reason I’m Chief of Security. I’m a weapons and combat specialist. Its what I do… and I doubt you’ve forgotten its what Starfleet wants me to do. Someone has to do the work you won’t.
A harsh thing said, and to most people something hard to accept or circumvent via rational argument… but to a trained psychologist, a clue to a complex, toughened mental state. One likely born of turmoil and strife. Della might not have believed that only two years ago, a smile or a bad joke was never too far from Tash.
Vetri: No, Commander, I haven't forgotten. I've known for centuries that society needs people to do what you do, no matter the cost. I also know that it needs people like me, who can stitch together the pieces after it's over. So, how about you-
Barely managing to stop herself speaking, Della took a firm grip on herself, quashing the frustrated anger that had spiked at his comment. After a moment, she took a deep breath, and continued.
Vetri: I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. I'm a little on edge from something that happened earlier.
She gave him a brief smile that felt almost as brittle as her self-control.
Vetri: Nothing you had any part in, I assure you. oO Technically... Oo
Now this caught him by surprise. If it wasn’t the Romulan aide bothering her, then why the ice? What else could it be? Tash couldn’t tell, but was too tired to play the game. He sat in one of the several seats available with a sigh of resignation, leaning back into the soft chair. Just sitting was a relief, and helped him maintain patience. He wondered how to begin. So many things had happened.
Perching herself on the front edge of her desk, Della decided it might be best to try and steer this session back on course, or at least give it a try.
Vetri: So... What happened?
He didn’t respond at first to her insistence. Did she really want to know, or was it simply her professional requirement? Did it matter either way? He looked up at her for a moment, contemplated where to begin, then decided to dive into things. His body was demanding sleep, rest, so he couldn’t waste time.
Tash: We had a recent mission to a frozen planet called Esogunot. I was left for dead, to freeze in the wild, and only survived at the mercy of a passing native. As it was, it was luck alone that left me with only one dead arm. Muscle death isn’t a pleasant thing to experience. Doc Jarak was able to save it with his nanotech.
To illustrate, he lifted his open right hand, then closed it into a fist. His hands were still a little shaky from the withdrawal, but not nearly as bad as before. Pausing, he waited for her to take in this short version of a long, complicated story in which he became a human icicle at the behest of a traitorous, war-mongering general.
Tash: I was still healing from this when… an old friend decided to pay a visit to the Starbase. You might have a sizable file in your records from Counselor Sharee, concerning Armeni.
Vetri: The name sounds familiar. oO Because she was the one driving your hands as you choked that girl... Oo
Now, he hesitated. However, he had no more secrets where Armeni was concerned. The entire crew knew his history with her, after her latest visit. Better Vetri hear it from him, and not the gossip mill.
Tash: She was a Betazoid, we attended Academy together. For a time, we were together. It wasn’t something that ended well. I did an entire years worth work for her, on top of my own. She was in complete control… steering me. I had friends that tried to warn me….
Perys.
Tash: I did anything she wanted. She messed around in my head on her whim. It took two other Betazoids to put things back to some semblance of order, before I could make sense of a lot of the things I’d done. There are still things I don’t remember.
Della couldn't help but wonder what those things were, and whether her dawning suspicion was accurate - that she actually knew more about what Tash had done than he did...
Vetri: I know of a few things that might help with that. If you want to, that is...
There was a long moment of silence before he started again.
Tash: As I said, she showed up on the Starbase. She’d escaped felony control on Betazed, and made me a priority. Even with a telepathic inhibiter surgically implanted, she was strong enough to wreak havoc on the station, escape our quarantined medical bay, and…
And what? Have her way with him in the dead of the night, when nobody knew she’d escaped, for the sole purpose of proving to him that she could still do whatever the hell she wanted with him?
Tash: … and within hours, had me assaulting my friends. I nearly killed T’Lea… still haven’t talked to her about that. Anyway, the inhibitor had tired her out, and I managed to break free. I think the only reason T’Lea’s throat wasn’t crushed was because I was still down to one arm.
The image of his hand clutched round T’Lea’s throat. The image of his hands wrapped round Perys’ throat. Eyes going wide, then dull, as he crushed the life from them.
Vetri: I talked to T'Lea earlier. oO And what a mistake that was. Oo. She doesn't seem to be holding a grudge, if that's any help. You might want to talk to her about it, if you haven't already. Make sure the knows it wasn't your will in control. I have a feeling she'd understand.
That last part was quiet, and she knew it sounded a little cynical. Forcing herself back to a more professional tone, she carried on.
Vetri: And then?
Tash: Then T’Lea sucked Armeni out the airlock. And I tried to save her.
It was a crucial detail. “I tried to save her.” Even in the moments after she had taken complete physical control of him, used him for her perverted purposes, threatened his daughter, made him nearly kill his best friend T’Lea, and revealed he had already killed a best friend for her… Perys…. Even then, he still couldn’t stop the instinctual reaction to save her.
oO Why, if T'Lea was the one doing the throwing...oh. Not T'Lea. Oo
Vetri: Why do you think you did that, Tash.
Della winced slightly at that. He hadn't actually agreed to her using his name like that, but it just seemed to fit. She couldn't help but sympathise with him, and it wasn't just her training. Another entity had wound itself into her consciousness, and she'd never been the same since. Of course, the Joining had been her choice, but it gave a her a tiny bit of insight into how he might be feeling.
Tash: ::quietly:: She’d programmed me pretty well, I suppose, if I was still….
In love.
The moment stretched on in silence. He wondered how Vetri would translate all this.
Vetri: I'm not so sure... I think a good part of it was your own free will. I think, on some level, you really wanted to save her.
Tash: How could you know that?
An honest question, not a biting one.
Vetri: I've seen your records, remember. It all adds up to a dedicated, professional, Security Officer. And Security's main job is protection, right? To save lives?
Tash: In essence, yes.
Vetri: You were still in there, Tash, still fighting. She couldn't beat you completely. Remember that.
Sighing a little, she shifted slightly. The edge of the desk was digging into her, but she wouldn't move just yet. The building pain was keeping her focused.
Vetri: So that was the lead-up. What about the more recent? Why did you start on them?
To the current fun. Ketrazine, and Sylvana Crystal.
Tash: I had access. I figured a small dose would help me unwind. The Crystal was more a precaution than anything. It wasn’t suppose to go beyond my Leave of Absence… but It got a little out of hand.
A weak ending to a complicated explanation. Short translation? He was screwed in the head, and he screwed the pooch in response.
Vetri: Why not go to Lieutenant Sharee? She could have helped you, helped stop this getting to where it is now.
Tash: How are my people suppose to trust me if I ran to Sharee after every fight?
A reasonable answer, given the situation, she supposed. Then she realised that there was another part to this story. One that Doctor Harden had told her about, but Tash had yet to mention.
Vetri: I know this may sound a bit out of line, but what about your girlfriend. Couldn't she have helped?
He flinched slightly at the mentioning of his obliterated relationship. It had been a fantastic high amid the lows, being with Cura. However, something lived to the fullest rarely survived a long time.
Tash: So it's already common knowledge...? ::he paused, then continued a bit more quietly:: ... Cura'll have my head for doing this on her maiden voyage.
Vetri: You mean...? Oh, god.
Della let herself slide off of the desk, coming to rest sat on the floor, head in hands. After a moment, she looked back up at Tash, the first genuine smile for a while on her lips. Tash looked down at her with a raised eyebrow, perplexed at her reaction.
Vetri: Open mouth, insert foot. I'm sorry, Commander, but I really think I need a map to find my way around this crew.
For a moment... only a short one, but a visible one... a half smile graced his features. Genuine entertainment at having caught her off-guard. It was gone in an instant, but had definitely been there.
She was relieved to see his reaction to that. Only a slight twitch, but it was definitely the beginnings of an answering smile.
Tash: This is a pretty dramatic crew. You'll get use to the pace.
Vetri: You're probably right. Still, give me time...
Clambering to her feet, she headed over to the replicator and gave it a quick knock, hitting the key she'd already programmed. As the drink materialized in the slot, she looked back over at Tash.
Vetri: You want anything?
The thought of anything still sounded disgusting, but the thirst remained.
Tash: Just water.
Nodding, she took her cup and ordered for him. Savoring the hazelnut and caffeine smell that wafted up from her drink. After a moment, she picked up his as well, and handed the glass of cool water over.
Vetri: ::raising her cup slightly:: Not as pharmaceutical, but just as addictive.
Taking a sip, she felt the flavour explode through her, calming nerves that really, really, needed it.
Vetri: At least to me, anyway...
Tash: And you're drinking for two.
Della looked at him across the top of her cup. Was that an attempt at humor? If so, it wasn't a very good one, but at least it showed he was trying.
Vetri: Is the concoction Jarak sent for you helping?
Tash: I think so, yes. Day two is certainly smoother than day one.
He thought back with an internal cringe... how Julia had helped him. Perhaps he should write to her? He hadn't been able to say goodbye properly.
Vetri: That's good to hear. By the way, sorry about invading your quarters like that. You weren't answering and well... :looking a little embarrassed:: I panicked a bit. I guess when you sleep, you *really* sleep.
She didn't mention the fact that she'd almost frozen. Only Marik's years of experience had kicked her into action, the previous host's knowledge guiding her hands to check he was okay. On top of everything else, he didn't need to know that...
Tash: Not usually...
He hesitated, wondering just how long she had hung around while he was sleeping. After all, she'd moved the table at least. She could have tap-danced on his head, and he likely wouldn't have known.
Tash: ... under normal circumstances.
Vetri: I'll try and remember that...
Another few moments passed, then she looked him in the eye as she spoke again.
Vetri: Has anyone checked to see if there are any triggers left? If not, I could...
Her voice trailed off there. She couldn't believe she'd actually suggested that. Diving into his mind in search of traps left by a killer born to talents she herself had only just begun to master.
His response was immediate, and without any hint of compromise.
Tash: No.
It wasn't a response to her question as to triggers, but an entire answer to her offer.
Tash: I've had enough mental spelunking. Not again.
Well, if that wasn't obvious enough from his recent behavior. His voice left little doubt he could be convinced otherwise, despite the likely good cause and effect of a last repairing jump inside his psyche.
Della felt a wave of relief wash through her at his flat denial. She couldn't believe she'd actually suggested it, especially since she didn't even know if it was something she could actually do. That, and there was the nagging problem of her actually being right...
Vetri: Fair enough. It was just a thought, forget about it.
Other than the refusal for internalized mental treatment, it seemed they were making progress. He had shared more of himself in the last twenty minutes than he had in months... even, unfortunately, where Cura was involved. But he was dropping off. The chair was too soft... he leaned forward, stretching his neck, hoping the movement and extra blood-flow would keep him from dozing.
Tash: Doubt I'll be much good to you for much longer. Was there anything else you wanted for now?
His need for sleep was apparent. Jarak's inhibitor limited his symptoms, but didn't limit his need for recuperation.
Vetri: I think we're good for the moment. ::pausing for a moment:: Whatever happened... no, never mind.
She considered it. Ignoring T'Lea's warning and telling him about the images she'd received. The problem was, did he remember doing it, and if not, could he take finding out... After a moment, she decided not to risk it, and Tash spoke up again with a strained, tired voice.
Tash: Just... say it. It can't be any worse than it already is, right?
Maybe it could, though he couldn't imagine how.
Vetri: It's nothing that can't wait. oO Possibly forever Oo I think we're both tired, and that's not going to help matters, is it? So ::setting her cup on the desk:: Go slip into a coma for the rest of the night. Take it easy tomorrow, use the holodecks for a bit of relaxation, and give me a call after dinner. We'll see how things are then, okay?
He paused to consider. Coma, holodeck, call after dinner. It could be that easy... right?
Tash: Understood. ::reconsidering her earlier intense mood, giving her one last shot to speak her peace:: You're sure its nothing?
Vetri: I'm sure, Commander.
Standing properly, she smiled as she made shooing motions toward the door.
Vetri: Go. You look like you're about to fall asleep on my couch, and that would just be untidy.
Tash stood to match her, letting his legs get use to his weight once again. His non-movement was perhaps taken the wrong way, in that he didn't want to go.
Vetri: I still have to write this up in my logs, and you're far too distracting.
She almost cringed as that came out of her mouth. She'd meant because she couldn't really write up a patient's report with him still sat there, but it also occurred to her that her comment could be taken very different ways.
oO Well, at least it'd show his emotions are on the way back... Oo
Green eyes blinked twice in rapid succession at her comment, then he glanced away as he attempted to cover his surprise. Was that a hint of embarrassment there? That certainly wouldn't have happened only days ago.
Tash: Right, right... I'll get out of your way, then.
oO Oh yes, you're definitely trying, aren't you Tash. Oo
He didn't say this in a self-depreciating manner, but simply in an accepting, if somewhat caught-off-guard manner. With a slight nod as farewell, he made his way out the door.
As he left, Della managed to hold on until the door was fully closed before breathing a huge sigh of relief. That had gone surprisingly well, given that it was her first professional session, and a tricky case as well.
Vetri: Well, one thing down, and several dozen more to go...
Behind the glass walls in her mind, the sight of Tash strangling Perys to death began to play again...