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==Starfleet Academy==
==Starfleet Academy==
 
[[Image:Kernan.JPG|frame]]
One cold Saturday morning in late September during her first year at Starfleet Academy she was jogging on the Academy track when she met a second year cadet named Brian Kernan. Although she preferred to run alone, and indicated such to Kernan verbally, he shockingly, by her Vulcan sensibilities, insisted on not only running with her, but chatting her up. Reluctantly she acquiesced to his continued presence and they began a frank discussion about T'Lar's admitted difficulty in understanding human psychological expression and emotionalism. Kernan further surprised her by making the assertion that when trying to understand human relations it was important to remember that for Humans, most things revolved around sex and greed.  
One cold Saturday morning in late September during her first year at Starfleet Academy she was jogging on the Academy track when she met a second year cadet named Brian Kernan. Although she preferred to run alone, and indicated such to Kernan verbally, he shockingly, by her Vulcan sensibilities, insisted on not only running with her, but chatting her up. Reluctantly she acquiesced to his continued presence and they began a frank discussion about T'Lar's admitted difficulty in understanding human psychological expression and emotionalism. Kernan further surprised her by making the assertion that when trying to understand human relations it was important to remember that for Humans, most things revolved around sex and greed.  



Revision as of 16:22, 23 April 2009

T'Lar copy.JPG

T'Lar is a Vulcan Counselor stationed aboard the USS Challenger. She is a PNPC written by Iolo Madoc Llewelyn.

Personal Information

  • Age: 38
  • Sex: Female
  • Race: Vulcan

Family

  • Marital status: Divorced
  • Children: 1, a daughter T'Pral, 14 years old, being raised jointly by T'Lar's mother.
  • Siblings: 10, all older.
  • Mother: T'Ron, age 120
  • Father: Salak, deceased (ooc: NOT the Salak in the UFOP)

Early history:

T'Lar is the youngest of 11 children, conceived after an unexpected Pon Farr on the part of her mother at the age of 85. All of her siblings were already adults with families of their own. Her name in Vulcan means "she who is a surprise", and was given that name by her mother upon learning she was pregnant with a daughter. T'Lar brought just a touch of chaos into her parents comfortable and somewhat pedantic lives, causing her father to remark that with her birth, he'd grown 25 years younger. A bright child, she brought honor to her family by excelling in science and musical achievements. Her father was a retired Starfleet Officer, having served on numerous starships as a chief science officer. T'Lar, having her father's attention solely to herself, would sit on his lap for hours as he recounted the tales of his journeys amongst the stars and with the fascinating and illogical aliens that inhabited the Federation and beyond. He recounted the fact that her family had always had at least one member serving in Starfleet since before the Federation was even formed. He was bitterly disapointed that thus far none of his other children had seen fit to answer the call of duty and take his place, and always told T'Lar "Little one, you will be the one who restores the honor of your family by maintaining the tradition. You are the brightest and most gifted of all of your siblings, because you listen to your father...."

T'Lar's affection for her father was as deep as it could be considering Vulcan sensibilities. Although she learned to moderate her expression of it, she and her father had a highly developed non verbal system for communicating their affection through seemingly innocuous gestures. Even at a young age T'Lar's academic achievements guaranteed her an opportunity to apply to the Vulcan Science Academy, but Salak was steadfast in proclaiming that his daughter would attend Starfleet Academy. At age 7 she was bonded with a Vulcan boy named Sunok. At first it seemed an agreeable match, but as the two got older T'Lar found Sunok to be less and less compatible with her personality wise. Sunok did not share T'Lar's unconventional fascination and curiosity about other races and planetary civilizations and cultures. Her interests were inspired at a young age by her father's stories of his travels while a member of Starfleet. Sunok was the son of a civil engineer and had no time for such pursuits.

At age 19 T'Lar underwent Pon Farr and took Sunok as her husband as Vulcan tradition decreed. A year later she gave birth to a daughter, T'Pral, who's name means "She who is a help in a difficult time". Sunok to this day does not realize that his own daughter's name was T'Lar's defiant, by Vulcan standards, expression of her displeasure with their union. Sunok was austere and cold far beyond what most Vulcans considered to be a normal expression of reservedness. He crushed her expressed desires to attend Starfleet Academy preparatory courses, telling her that he refused to entertain her "naive fantasy" of following in her father's footsteps. Her place was there, on Vulcan, as mother to his child, and dutiful wife to him. Besides, he observed, there were plenty of opportunities for a person of her talents to pursue through the Vulcan Science Academy.

Sunok's attitude was most disagreeable to Salak, who was well advanced in years and in poor health. He in vain tried to reason with Sunok to accommodate T'Lar's desire to follow in her family's tradition, but was rebuffed by Sunok who observed that she was part of HIS family now, and callously pointed out that it was Salak's failure as a father if his male children did not carry out his wishes with regards to family tradition. Salak, already suffering from a debilitating condition that made controlling his emotions difficult was incensed at the affrontery of the arrogant Sunok, and barely kept from lashing out. T'Lar held back tears as she watched her proud father, his hands shaking, teeth clenched, voice quavering with anger calmly compose himself and inform Sunok that he would not speak with him again, and made the traditional Vulcan hand gesture that indicated that Sunok would be shunned by him from that day forward. Sunok was shocked. Such a gesture by a revered elder in the community could have serious consequences, and the measure taken up by others in the community could seriously affect his ability to advance in his civil engineering career. Rather than humbling himself through the Vulcan tradition of R'Fom, his cold treatment of T'Lar became almost psychologically abusive. He forbade T'Lar from having any contact with her parents under penalty of divorcement and disassociation with her child.

Around this time Salak's health took a turn for the worse, and T'Lar secretly stole away to be at her father's bedside. He asked her why she had not been around to visit for some time and she told him of Sunok's threats. Salak placed his hands on his daughter's head and gave her a special Vulcan blessing, and urging her to not be bound by "the shunned one" any further if it were not agreeable with her to do so. This pronouncement was significant because it freed her from the stigma of divorcing her husband and going against what was presumably a good choice by her parents. In effect her father was taking responsibility and acknowledging that the choice of mate for his daughter was a poor one, and he was releasing her from her obligation to remain in the union if it were not her wish to do so. Salak died that night, and T'Lar's mind was set. She was 29 years old, her daughter was nine. The next day she served Sunok with a public declaration of divorcement, a move more humiliating for a Vulcan male than the Shunning, because it indicated that there was not even harmony within the man's own home. Furthermore, testimony was given in evidence before an arbitrator who granted not only the legal divorcement, but sole custody to T'Lar of her daughter.

T'Lar had a long discussion with T'Pral, recounting her father's wish that she serve in Starfleet and the fact that since she was a child it was the only path that she desired to take for her life. T'Pral indicated that it would be agreeable for her to remain on Vulcan in her grandmother's care while T'Lar pursued her goal of becoming a Starfleet officer.

While taking the psychological battery assessment portion of the Starfleet Academy Entrance Examination, T'Lar became intrigued by the questions that were asked, and wondered just how one could draw inferences from such random and seemingly meaningless pronouncements. By the time she entered Starfleet Academy at the age of 30, she had decided to pursue a career in psychological counseling.

Starfleet Academy

Kernan.JPG

One cold Saturday morning in late September during her first year at Starfleet Academy she was jogging on the Academy track when she met a second year cadet named Brian Kernan. Although she preferred to run alone, and indicated such to Kernan verbally, he shockingly, by her Vulcan sensibilities, insisted on not only running with her, but chatting her up. Reluctantly she acquiesced to his continued presence and they began a frank discussion about T'Lar's admitted difficulty in understanding human psychological expression and emotionalism. Kernan further surprised her by making the assertion that when trying to understand human relations it was important to remember that for Humans, most things revolved around sex and greed.

T'Lar had a difficult time accepting this however Kernan went on to explain: “Maslow’s hierarchy of needs states that the most primal drives of mankind can be summed up in breathing, food, water, sex, sleep, homeostasis and excretion. The second hierarchy is all about security: in body, employment, resources, morality, health and family. All other concerns are sublimated in importance to the first two hierarchy levels. Unless they are met, the human being will be unable to focus on higher level needs. And since reproduction is an evolutionary imperative it affects virtually every other aspect. Of course security implies safeguarding, which in turn leads to territoriality, which of course needs a means to safeguard those things, which requires people, which leads back to the need to not only procreate, but also insure that one’s reproductive resources are exclusive to the individual in question. In order to defend those resources from others that would seek to appropriate them to themselves, a person must be physically ready to fight for them. In order to accomplish that, one must have access to adequate food and water, and a defensible home base from which it is possible to get enough rest and take care of the more personal needs without interruption. All of these factors have their basis in sex and greed; greed being defined as the desire to accumulate those things that make survival possible.”

When T'Lar remarked that humans were no longer bound by such desires and had evolved as a species and culture, Kernan pointed out that societal evolution had managed to modify the expression of such primal conditioning, it had not eradicated it from human nature. He then abruptly made his exit, winking at T'Lar as he left. This simple gesture stunned her. She had no context for it nor no way to interpret it. She ruminated over it for hours until finally deciding to confront Kernan about it in the mess hall at lunch time. He refused to tell her what it meant, but rather indicated that she would get more out of it if she were to discover on her own its meaning. He challenged her to wink at the first male cadet she saw as she left the mess hall. She abruptly left Kernan and exiting the mess hall winked at the hapless Cadet Landess, smiled at him and followed him with her eyes in the same manner that Kernan had done to her. Cadet Landess blushed, grinned like an idiot, and because he was perplexedly maintaining eye contact with T'Lar, forgot to watch where he was going and walked into the mess hall doorjamb, breaking his nose. This development shocked and simultaneously fascinated T'Lar, who later sought out Kernan once more, this time in the library.

T'Lar understood now that Brian Kernan's interest in her was based upon his attraction to her. As a Vulcan, while she found his form to be aesthetically pleasing, what she found fascinating was how quickly he had managed to demonstrate to her his ability to communicate complex truths regarding human nature into a format that she could process and understand. He, being fairly certain that he'd blown any chance he had to get to know her better, was completely bowled over when she proposed that they not only become friends, but also indicated her willingness to take that friendship wherever it may lead in her pursuit of understanding human psychology. This led to a discussion regarding definitions of friendship, as Kernan pointed out that what she was proposing sounded more like tutoring than a friendship. In the end T'Lar convinced him that this was not the case, and explained how Vulcans view friendships and relationships. Kernan offered to meet her for breakfast the following morning and then show her the City.

The following day became the first of many "dates" between the two. As they grew to know each other T'Lar's affinity for Kernan and his affection for her grew. As their "relationship" was becoming for all intents and purposes exclusive, she felt that it would be appropriate and positively reinforcing of Kernan's efforts to exhibit small gestures of affection, first with hand holding, then walking arm in arm... Kernan taught her to approximate human emotional states by association with physical and psychological responses to stimuli. While she could not experience the emotional aspects of love, Kernan taught her that love is as much an action and a commitment to act a certain way towards another person as it was an emotion. He taught her that with humans emotions wax and wane, but it is the commitment based upon long term friendship and mutual respect that is the real evidence of love. This concept appealed to her because of her affinity for him as a person and her respect for him as a friend and mentor. Although she could never "love him", she decided that she could commit to love him as an act of will and an expression of her regard for him. As time went on, she grew to take pleasure in increasingly intimate gestures based upon their physical sensation, such as eye gazing, caressing of the face and hands, and shockingly to her fellow Vulcan cadets, mouth to mouth kissing....

As the semester wore on T'Lar's unconventional willingness to experiment with anthropomorphic behaviors began to be a source of irritation for many Vulcan cadets, particularly one second year male cadet named Sular. Sular was president of the Starfleet Academy Vulcan Cadet Consortium. One night in late November Sular and the VCC summoned T'Lar under false pretenses to what she believed to be a "cultural" event. Upon her arrival she was castigated for her non-conformity with traditional Vulcan values and behavioral norms. She was criticized for setting a poor example to other Vulcan cadets, and told that her ongoing experiment in associative expressionism had the potential to circumvent thousands of years worth of Vulcan societal evolution and inadvertently open a back door to long suppressed emotionalism and passions. T'Lar defended her relationship with Kernan, making it clear that it was a mutually beneficial arrangement, and not some sort of experiment. She explained that the methodology of associating irrational human emotional responses with a four part avoidance/acceptance/pleasure/displeasure matrix had been hugely beneficial in helping her to interpret the myriad of contradictory statements and confusing non verbal communication and mannerisms exhibited by other non Vulcan humanoids, which could only serve to help her in developing her psycho-social counseling skills. Sular made it plain that the VCC ruling council was putting her on notice to not only abandon her anthropomorphic expressionistic efforts, but also insisted that she break off her relationship with Kernan, as it was a corrupting influence. It was made clear that if she failed to comply, she would be Shunned, and Kernan's continued association with her would be "negatively modified", through use of force if necessary.

T'Lar was stunned and demanded to know by what authority the VCC thought it could enforce such an edict upon her. Sular answered that as long as there had been a Federation, there has always been a cabal of Vulcan's positioned throughout Starfleet to safeguard impressionable and naive Vulcans from heretical contamination through unhealthy association with humans and other irrational species. Although the VCC itself was not the secret society that enforced such edicts, the members of the ruling council were part of it.

When T'Lar pointed out that such racist views of humans and authoritarianism were done away with during the Surakian Reformation, she was coldly informed that the Cabal had never completely accepted all of the reforms initiated over a century earlier. Knowing full well what the old regime, to which the Cabal was apparently tied historically, was capable of justifying in the name of Vulcan philosophical "puritanism", T'Lar was alarmed that Kernan was in very real danger of physical injury or worse if she did not comply. Additionally, although she had learned to mimic certain human-like gestures, she was still a Vulcan, and the stress of the threat of isolation from her community should she be shunned was psychologically overwhelming.

T'Lar attempted to put distance between herself and Kernan, which confused and caused him much emotional turmoil. When she tried to break things off completely, he could tell that something was amiss. When he probed deeper, the truth regarding the VCC and Sular's Cabal came out. Kernan was enraged, but T'Lar prevailed upon him to not confront Sular or any member of the VCC directly, making him promise her that he would let her handle it. Turning to a senior Vulcan instructor at the Academy for help, T'Lar told him everything, from her unconventional relationship with Kernan to Sular's harassment and threats under the guise of the VCC and more disturbingly his involvement with an ancient Cabal holding to pre-reformation philosophies. The Academy's response was swift and decisive. For violating the Academy's anti-harassment policies and racist conduct, the VCC ruling council could have faced expulsion, however due to the cultural concerns regarding inter-species relationships, the Court of Conduct found that while misguided and in many ways repugnant, the participants conduct was primarily a symptom of the ongoing assimilation process. Consequently the Vulcan cadets involved were stripped of one year's worth of credit towards graduation, and suspended from attending the Academy until the following fall semester. Additionally the Vulcan cultural attache' took custody of the conspirators and transported them back to Vulcan for disciplinary action. In the end, the episode exposed a root of intolerance and bigotry that had managed to persist within the Vulcan community for centuries thanks to a code of silence and fear of repercussions if one spoke out against it.

When the plot was exposed, the Academy responded overwhelmingly in support of T'Lar and Brian Kernan. Whereas earlier in the year there were many puzzled looks whenever the two were seen engaging in public displays of affection, now there were supportive smiles. Except from some of the female cadets who were jealous of course.

As T'Lar and Kernan continued to spend more and more time together, T'Lar's "affinity" for his presence and Brian's affection for her grew. One of their favorite activities together involved the game of poker, which Kernan assured her would help her to learn more in a few sessions about human nature than a semester's worth of classes. First playing with Kernan, her Bajoran room mate, Kernan room mate, who turned out to be the hapless Cadet Landess, and the Andorian RA from Kernan's dorm, T'Lar learned to read minute tells that even Brian couldn't see, while using her dispassionate Vulcan emotional discipline to conceal her own thoughts. As they played with different groups of people, T'Lar learned that if she randomly displayed a very non Vulcan behavior, such as a flirtatious glance, a wink, or something as innocuous as brushing her hair back over her ears, exposing her neck could unnerve the most disciplined of players. At the end of the fall semester she entered the Cadets vs. Cadre Fall Semester Poker tournament at Brian's urging. Amazingly, she won, unseating one crafty professor with years of experience "afloat" from his title as champion.

As the Winter Break arrived T'Lar was preparing to spend the holiday alone in San Francisco, as there would not be enough time to travel to Vulcan and back to make the visit worth the effort. Brian, realizing that he was actually falling in love with T'Lar invited her to spend the Christmas holiday with him at his parent's home in the Sierra Nevada Mountains in a little town called Truckee, California. Although the cold mountain weather did not appeal to T'Lar's desert born physique, her room mate enlightened her as to the importance of "meeting the parents" of one's significant other, and she indicated that she found offer to be exceptionally agreeable, meaning she was happy to go.

As the hovercar Brian had obtained for the trip made its way up the old Highway 80 corridor coming up from the Sacramento Valley, there wasn't much to see aside from the town of Auburn which still had its giant statue of an 1849 gold miner panning for gold next to the old courthouse. As they went further into the mountains, suddenly the scenery to the right and left dropped away into rugged valleys with snow covered peaks, the asthetics of which T'Lar found exceptionally pleasing to the eye. Upon arrival at Brian's parents snow covered Alpine lodge, T'Lar was warmly greeted by his mother and father. Smiling she mimicked a warm response back, which surprised and delighted Brian's father who, having served with Vulcans during his days in Starfleet, had never in his life seen a Vulcan smile. Brian's 8 year old sister had never seen a Vulcan up close, and was trepidatious in meeting T'Lar. Kneeling down to eye level, T'Lar allowed Brian's sister to gently trace a finger over her fae like ears, delighting the girl, who then impetuously asked her brother if his girlfriend was an angel. Brian told her to ask T'Lar, who asked the girl what she thought. The little girl looked at T'Lar from one side to the other and declared that in her opinion that T'Lar was probably was the queen of Santa's Elves... T'Lar winked and put a finger to her lips as if to indicate that it was their little secret, which delighted the girl and sent her away giggling.

Later that night while lounging around the fire, T'Lar watched as Brian's sister slept on the rug in front of the hearth. When Brian mentioned how cute his sister looked, T'Lar inadvertently dropped a bombshell when she remarked that seeing her sleeping like that reminded her of her own daughter. Brian's mother started to ask how old T'Lar's daughter was, but seeing the look on Brian's face, realized that this information was new to him as well. Under the pretense of putting the young girl to bed, Brian's parents made their exit, leaving an uncomfortable silence between Brian and T'Lar. T'Lar could tell that Brian was hurt, but could not understand why. He couldn't understand why she hadn't mentioned the fact that she had a daughter before, not to mention who the daughter's father was, and what her relationship was with him. She told him everything, expressing her sincere apologies for not having the forethought to address the issue earlier. She thanked him for inviting her to spend the holiday with his family, and she indicated that she understood the cultural significance. In a tender moment he confessed his love for her, and she confessed that she was envious of his ability to feel such things. She reaffirmed her commitment to their relationship, but expressed regret that she would never be able to love him in return. Kernan smiled and pointed out that she already was demonstrating love for him. At first she thought he meant the mimicked gestures or perhaps the more intimate forms of physical contact which she could enjoy from a physiological standpoint, but without the accompanying emotional context. Brian pointed out that love was as much a verb as it was a noun. To love someone, he explained, was an act of will, a commitment to the other person that remained long after the early stages of infatuation and attraction based upon physical appearance long faded away. Without friendship and "affinity" as she called it, relationships never lasted more than a few years at best. T'Lar realized that she had been "loving" him through her actions and decided that she would continue to make a conscious choice to continue loving him through her actions and companionship. Looking into his eyes, she told him that if love was a choice, an act of will, then she wanted him to know that she loved him as well.

Just the pronouncement of those words stirred something deep inside her, but she tucked it away. Over the next few days she took part in the family's traditions of cutting down a Christmas tree, which T'Lar thought was an unnecessary loss to the tree, but did not voice her opinion. She learned about the Christmas story, and the story of St. Nicholas. On Christmas day she was surprised when Brian gave her a small box containing a Claddagh ring. He explained to her that it was a symbol of his commitment to her as his "sweetheart" and that it was an Irish tradition going back centuries. Although Vulcans traditionally did not wear such jewelry, aside from the trappings of one traditional spiritual ceremony or another, she accepted the gift and has not removed the ring to this day. She received many other gifts as well from Brian's family, and spent the next few days dragging Brian around to various small Sierra towns in search of appropriate gifts for his family.

During the last few days of their holiday Brian convinced her to go skiing with him. Although she found the cold weather most disagreeable, once properly bundled up she found the physical sensations of alpine skiing at the ancient Squaw Valley ski resort to be exhilarating, and she took to the sport as she did most things, showing great skill in a short amount of time.

On the day before they were due to return to San Francisco Brian wanted to take T'Lar ice skating at a little pond he'd discovered when he was a boy, five miles from his parent's property. Taking snow shoes and a survival pack they started off early in the morning, however as is often the case with or without weather satellites, mountain weather showed its unpredictable nature and they found themselves in a white out. As the temperature dropped and the conditions grew worse, T'Lar began to show signs of hypothermia. Brian managed to get a message out to his family to let them know that he and T'Lar were okay but would have to camp out that night, and he quickly went about setting up the snow shelter. Climbing inside he realized that T'Lar's clothing was soaked through. Quickly the two reverted to their survival training, which ironically was conducted a mere twenty miles or so from their present location, and they stripped off their wet clothing and huddled together for warmth under a survival blanket. While T'Lar was modest, as most Vulcans are, she was not embarrassed to be unclothed in front of Kernan, and he was doing his best to appear un-flustered by it as well, however as they huddled close, T'Lar's head resting on his chest to protect her ears from the cold, noted, almost clinically, that his heartrate and respiration were elevated. Brian, now embarrassed that his body was testifying against him, pointed out that for humans, such skin to skin, and visual stimuli were... Rather than making him say it she simply gave him an understanding "ahhh, I see...", and acknowledged the fact that since they had not been intimate on this level in the past, such a situation could be..., to which he told her to please shut up about it. What transpired in the hours that followed is best left to the imagination, however the bond between the two the following morning was stronger than ever.

The Spring semester of T'Lar's first year saw Brian away on proficiency exercises for much of the semester. She found that his absence was conspicuous, and she missed his familiar presence. Then she began having dreams about him. At first they were innocuous, but as time went on they became increasingly explicit in nature. T'Lar realized with a shock after one particularly erotic dream that she was exhibiting pre Pon Farr symptoms. The fact that her room mate looked at her funny in the morning helped make the case as well. The semester was winding down and Brian had agreed to accompany her to Vulcan for a month long visit. Starfleet Medical confirmed that she was within six to eight weeks of undergoing her second Pon Farr. She shared this information with Brian who at first showed a most adolescent enthusiasm, before she became irritated with him and told him that the situation is not a joking matter to Vulcans. She was concerned that if she underwent Pon Farr while on Vulcan there would be complications involving her daughter's father because of their previous bonding.

The week before finals was the Cadet vs. Cadre Spring Poker Tournament. As in the fall tournament, T'Lar won, and was crowned grand champion for the year.

Their visit to Vulcan was thankfully largely uneventful. T'Lar's mother, while polite as tradition would dictate, was nevertheless nonplussed by T'Lar's decision to grow her hair out long and style it after the human fashion, nor was she overly pleased that her daughter brought a human companion with her, especially one several years her junior. T'Lar's daughter, however, kept her comments to her mother about Brian to a minimalistic observation that he "smelled strangely". While visiting her family, T'Lar was approached by he ex husband, who informed her that he had been undergoing the Kohlinar disciplines. He apologized to her for his arrogant and callous behavior, taking the responsibility for the failure of their marriage. He asked, humbly, if she would reconsider allowing him to help raise their daughter, and T'Lar agreed that he could have visitation. After a few days of showing Brian around the desert, Kernan and T'Lar boarded a transport bound for Earth. While in transit, the inevitable happened, and T'Lar underwent her second Pon Farr. During one passionate exchange between the two, T'Lar confessed that she truly did love Kernan, and proclaimed her desire that he be her lifemate. Although Brian had already decided to ask her to marry him, he took her proposal in stride and accepted without hesitation. The next few days of shared emotional and physical intimacy were more satisfying relationally than either of them could have imagined. It was also fruitful. Upon returning to classes for the Fall semester, it was discovered that, as is often the case, T'Lar's Pon Farr had resulted in her becoming pregnant with Kernan's child.

Although it was not in quite the timing that they would have preferred, Brian's parents understood what the realities of Vulcan/Human relations can entail and were thrilled that the two would be married and that they would be grandparents soon. T'Lar and Brian settled on having the wedding during the spring break, but as fate would have it, it was not to be. The Breen attack on Starfleet Headquarters and Starfleet Academy found T'Lar and Kernan trapped under the rubble of the former Cadet Student Union. T'Lar managed to free herself, but could not extricate her fiance who was being slowly crushed by the weight of the collapsed roof. Knowing he was going to die, T'Lar became overwhelmed, telling him that she could not conceive of life without him, and begging him not to leave her. Brian then suggested the unthinkable, telling T'Lar to mind meld with him so that his memories would always be available for her to share with their child. At first T'Lar hesitated, but then agreed. What happened next was totally unexpected. Brian lost consciousness and in her desperate attempt to meld with him before he died she went too deep and it seemed that his consciousness became transferred to her. While Vulcan's would sometimes perform a similar "rite" to preserve the Katra of a dying Vulcan, such a thing had never been attempted with a human. Had she taken his soul? The shock of it overwhelmed her and she slipped into a coma.

Several days later she awoke with Brian's parents by her bedside. She received the sad news from them that not only had Brian died, but that she had lost the baby as well. A few days later she was well enough to attend Kernan's wake and funeral. Classes for the Academy were canceled until the following fall semester, and T'Lar, alone in her grief, sought refuge and balance amongst the dunes and rocks of her homeworld. While on nomadic treks through the Forge, she often found that she could almost hear Brian's voice, speaking to her from what the Vulcans called "other memory", the memory of the Katra. Was it truly his consciousness living on, or her subconscious randomly dislodging remembered sayings or extrapolations of his philosophy or mannerisms. She didn't know for sure, nor could she share the information for fear of being labeled a heretic or worse. So she made peace with not knowing and took comfort in the familiar presence within her mind.

Starfleet Career

Two years later T'Lar graduated with honors, and elected to serve her internship "afloat" as opposed to serving at Starfleet Medical. She served on two ships prior to being assigned to the USS Ronin, where she served as chief of staff to the SC, Lt. (jg) Iolo Madoc Llewelyn. When a tragedy befell her supervisor, she found herself, not for the first time in her career serving as acting ship's counselor. Ironically this time was the fact that the cadet who had so bitterly opposed her relationship with Kernan, Sular, was himself now her subordinate in the Counseling department. Already their was tension brewing with him. Add to that the challenges inherent to the Ithassa region and T'Lar knew that she would rise to the occasion and make both Brian and her father proud.