SIM:Skyfire Rose:Cannot Be Separated 2
((Counselor's Office: USS Excalibur-A))
::Chythar sipped his tea and spoke in Greek, explaining to Dany about his problems with Dr. MacLaren. ::
SKYFIRE: By all rights, she is. Very easy going. ::There was a pause, and another sip of his tea as he began drumming his free hand on the arm of the chair.::
::The back of Dany's neck prickled a little. The air suddenly felt thick with frustration. Not her own frustration, because thankfully that was being kept in check. Though barely. She could see it billow around Skyfire, could almost touch it as it grew outwards towards her. That made her uneasy. She wasn't even touching him, he a different species, and here his thoughts were verging on her personal space. ::
SKYFIRE: She may not have reported me, but her words following that segment of story and the way I saw her react to my thoughts were what made me feel the guilt later on. She basically told me while I was patching her up that she could hear my thoughts and that they struck her like a ton of bricks because I don't have the ability to shield my emotions or thoughts from anyone.
::Dany realized some of what was off about Skyfire was he was speaking in another language, even though the universal translator didn't miss a step when he switched languages. She made a note, suddenly thankful for the first time in her life for minimal telepathic skill.::
ROSE: She's Betazoid. She's used to dealing with emotions from other species. From other people. We talked about this briefly before if I recall.
::There was another pause, and this time slipping into Russian as he stopped drumming his fingertips on the arm of the chair, bouncing his knee instead. ::
SKYFIRE: We did, but I still haven't been able to figure it out. How to separate my personal from professional life.
ROSE: You can't control everything, Chythar. I know you want to, but it's impossible. The universe is chaos.::She said it. Believed it. But it took everything to stare down the chaotic cloud that swirled around Skyfire and reached grasping hands toward her. Dealing with this was a demon of her own, her dislike of her innate telepathy. Dany forced herself to take a breath and remain seated when she would have liked to put distance between herself and the doctor. oO A normal, emotionally stable Vulcan wouldn't have this problem, Mandany.Oo
SKYFIRE: What in the name of Dante's Inferno is wrong with me?::Dany cringed. Giving in to the desire to run she stood and circled around the chair, placing her hands on the its back as if it would shield her from the doctor.ROSE: Take a breath, please.::There was a pause as Chythar did as instructed. ::
SKYFIRE::: in Russian :: There's a point to this, I'm guessing.
ROSE: Take a breath and just let it go.
SKYFIRE: ::takes another breath and exhales, slowly this time. He stops bouncing his knee and tries to remain calm before once again forcing his words into English:: What's your point?
ROSE: You can't control that breath once it's gone from you anymore than you can control the need to breathe in the first place.
SKYFIRE: I wasn't asking to control the need to breathe, as that's not the problem. The problem is separating the professional from the personal. Does that make sense?
ROSE: No. ::The volatile, angry cloud still hung over him. Dany stayed behind the chair.:: Well, yes it does. I can see how it does. However, you are a person. That makes everything in your life personal, doesn't it?
oO Point. Oo
SKYFIRE: :: in English :: I guess. I never thought of it that way before.
ROSE: ::She sat back down. :: It's like your breath. Oxygen seems impersonal, hanging out there for anyone who wants to come along and use it. But then you breathe it in, it does it's job and gives your cells life. You make it your own, your cells transform it and then you release it back into the universe again. Changed, yes but in a way part of you and still doing its job. Hardly impersonal now.
SKYFIRE: I think I know where this is going...continue.
ROSE: ::She gritted her teeth and tried not to become frustrated. :: You are not an android, Chythar. Even Vulcans can't separate themselves into neat little boxes named "professional" and "personal." They say they can, but they lie.oO So Ryojichan lied to me. Perfect. Now what? Oo
SKYFIRE: Nice to know it's all lies.
::Dany sighed, regretted Skyfire's bitter reaction to what she said about Vulcans. All she needed was for him to stop trusting her because of her species. Then she asked the question she had hoped not to ask, wishing Skyfire had volunteered the information instead of wallowing. Humans were stubborn creatures.
ROSE: When you say you want to separate the professional from the personal, what do you mean by that?
SKYFIRE: I can't seem to stop thinking about what I did in my off-time, and then have to go straight from an off-time into a Code Blue.
ROSE: I see. That's what you meant by you disliked it when the code blue cut into your free time?
ROSE: I don't understand.
:: CD lapses into Russian again, the anger swirling around him now with what looks almost like red talons of fury as his brain patterns become erratic and causing trouble for the UT to pick up on his brain chemistry. ::
SKYFIRE: What's confusing about what I said? I can't go from non-professional to professional in :: he snaps his fingers :: that many seconds...Does that make sense?
ROSE: That makes sense. It's not something that you can achieve, or solve, in a day-- in one session.
SKYFIRE: So....what would you suggest?
::Dany stood and returned her half filled cup of tea to the replicator. She pushed the button and its molecules and atoms and basic parts dissolved and were recycled. ::
ROSE: We're coming up on a big mission. There might not be time for counseling or talking until it's over.
SKYFIRE: :: in Greek, filled with sarcasm. :: Great. Just what I need. More responsibility.
ROSE: Is it the responsibility that makes you anxious? You are one of the senior medical officers.
SKYFIRE: :: nods :: I know, I know...nothing I can do about that.
ROSE: ::She nodded and crossed back to her chair.:: That's what I was saying about the control of breathing. Life, existence, breath... ::She waved a hand.:: They all happen. We can't stop them happening. We can attempt to control how we react. Because I might not see you for a while, I want you to do a couple of things.
SKYFIRE: :: forces his words back into English :: Such as?
ROSE: First: take a moment for yourself once a day to just let everything go. Just a moment, maybe five minutes. Shut yourself in a closet and bar the door if you have to. Let yourself relax. You enjoy medicine, it shouldn't make you stressed or anxious or frustrated—overly.
SKYFIRE: :: beat ::I'm sensing a `but' about to happen.
ROSE: Second: be gentle with yourself. You are an amazing person, unique and smart. People, alien and human alike, make mistakes and so too will you make another mistake. It's guaranteed. The universe is chaos like I said. Recognize the mistake, learn from it, but don't hate yourself over it. Don't... ::she paused and dredged her brain for the phrase.:: Don't beat yourself up over it.
SKYFIRE: :: heaves a sigh, the cloud of anger and frustration seeming to leave him alone for now. The uncertainty lingers as a grey haze. :: I'll try, I suppose.
ROSE: Just try, that's all any of us can do. Try and do better the next time.
SKYFIRE: Thanks. I think.ROSE: Now, go have fun. Do your job. You do it well, trust me.
::They both stood and moved to the door. ::
SKYFIRE: After you.
ROSE: Oh! I almost forgot. Would it be possible to get that sleep hypo?
::They went back into the new sickbay and Chythar prepared a normal run-of-the-mill batch of melatonin before handing over the hypo. ::
SKYFIRE: Give yourself no more than five milligrams of this before you fall asleep. If you have any problems or it doesn't work, you can come back and I'll see if I can fix it. That should last you a week.
ROSE: ::She smiled and cheered him with the canister. :: Thanks for this. ::Taking a chance she reached out and gripped his shoulder in thanks. The flash of his thoughts blazed through across her vision. She got the impression that he was still unsure, still in turmoil over... well over what, she wasn't exactly sure. Dany released his shoulder and rubbed her hand on her leg. ::
SKYFIRE: G'night, Ensign. Sleep well.ROSE: Oh, you bet I'm going to have the best sleep of my life. See you around, Doctor Skyfire.
::Dany took off through the door before someone else had the opportunity to command her time.::
::Chythar took out his PADD and pulled up Dany's medical record, making a note of his prescription for melatonin and writing up the report. He looked at the flashy chronometer on the device, and it took a minute for it to click that he'd taken up an hour of her time when she'd just come in for a sleep aid. oO I'll try not to do it again. Oo As he set down the PADD, he glanced around and realized he was the only one there, as the others must have finished downloading the files while he was in counseling. ::
Ensign Chythar Skyfire
Ensign Mandany Rose