SIM:Lael Rosek - Complicated Doesn't Even Begin To Cover It Part II (Za)
"Complicated Doesn't Even Begin To Cover It, Part I"
|Lieutenant Lael Rosek
USS Za NCC 65305
"Care To Let Me In On The Secret?, Part I"
OOC: Takes place after Lael’s visit to Sickbay after she first comes aboard. OOC2: Takes place before CD’s dinner with Alora
(( Skyfire’s Quarters ))
- That wasn’t good, but then again...what secrets could be so dark he’d be better off not knowing? They were friends, so the confusion he was experiencing radiated freely from him. It was odd for him to think they’d still hide things from one another. They’d been through hell together, survived, and some rough patches since coming back. Even some misunderstandings and yelling matches, but they came through alright each time. ::
- Instead of prying deeper, he just let the confusion speak for him as he continued munching on his dinner. ::
Rosek: ::murmurs:: When did things get so damned complicated between us?
Skyfire: Soon as yeh shut me down night before the surgery. Ah felt something bothering yeh in the brief moments before...everything. Yeh couldn’t tell me. Advised me tae leave. In addition, on a separate occasion yeh also said yeh wished ah was nae so close tae Alex.
- Lael grimaced.::
Rosek: I did, yes. ::pauses:: You don't understand why I sent you away that night, do you?
Skyfire: Ah’ve got guesses. One, because of this whatever it is involving Jansen. Two, because yeh’ve been harborin’ a crush on me and never acted on it. If ah had stayed, yeh would have acted on it and destroyed multiple friendships in the process.
- Lael said nothing, her gaze refocusing on her plate. She shoved the food around with her fork, feeling less hungry by the minute..::
- Truth be told, he didn’t know what else he could say to un-complicate things between them. It was not a pleasant sensation for him. They were friends, and should be able to trust one another with things. This seemed to be getting harder by the moment, though whether it was his fault or not was difficult to determine. ::
Skyfire: Damn it, Lael...Tell me then. What am ah missing, or what do ah have tae do in order to make this not complicated?
Rosek: ::murmurs:: I still care about Jansen, yes. For a long time, he was my security...all I had. We cared for each other and wanted it to work. But it wasn't enough. ::gaze flickers to his:: And there's nothing that can be done. Not between us. It is what it is. I won't hurt you...or Alex...to satisfy my selfishness.
- He listened, and was still clueless on how to help un-complicate things. Things were going well with him and Alex, but at the same time he could feel what she was going through a lot stronger than he could with Alex. Ever since the surgery, anyway. ::
Skyfire: Alright...what can ah do to make any of this easier?
Rosek: ::rasps:: You can't.
- He got up and replicated some tea, then turning to her. ::
Skyfire: Can ah get yeh something?
- Devlin continued dozing on her lap, trying to make her feel better by being adorably cute. He couldn’t feel emotions the same way his master could, but something about cute puppies calmed most humanoids. ::
Rosek: ::murmurs:: Tea is fine. ::pushes the plate of food away::
- He replicated a second mug and brought it to her before resuming his seat. The “lack of understanding” part of her statement bothered him, but because he didn’t know what it was. He knew full well it bothered her, but he couldn’t offer any insight since he didn’t know the nature of what she was trying to comprehend. He sipped his tea in silence, thinking. ::
- He wanted, badly, to uncomplicate the giant tangled knot of awkward that seemed to have risen between them. There wasn’t anything more he could offer, at least he didn’t think so. If something else opened up a path in his mind, he’d suggest it. For now...all was just complicated and confusing. ::
Rosek: ::murmurs:: I was so happy when I first found out that Command wasn't separating us. ::sighs:: Now I'm wondering if I wouldn't have been better off staying on the Gorkon.
- If this was guilt, it was hitting him like a ton of bricks. Confusion, yes. Sadness, yes. This other emotion...he couldn’t place it. ::
Skyfire: Only thing ah could think of is to avoid one another for a bit, see if that helps. Not that ah want to, because we’re friends and all...but if it helps…
Rosek: ::shakes her head:: From day one, I didn't stand a chance. You already loved Alex.
- That was depressing to hear. Absently, he sipped his tea and rubbed his tags, trying to calm down. Unfortunately, with the strength of their connection he couldn’t shield very well against the emotions. ::
Rosek: ::blinks back tears:: ::whispers:: I'm so sorry, Chythar.
Skyfire: Ah’ll be okay. Will you? :: His brow once again creased with concern, but he didn’t know how to help her. ::
Rosek: ::exhales shakily and nods:: It won’t be easy. But I think so.
- He set the tea on the table and got up to stand behind her, giving her another one of his notorious healing hugs. While he couldn’t fix it, he could at least try. ::
- She raised her mental walls in an attempt to save him from her own confusing mixture of feelings.::
- He kissed her forehead and attempted to project his calm. He was still bummed by the admission, but because she was a friend and experiencing a great deal of emotional pain, if he tore himself away he would probably feel worse. ::
- Selfishly, she stayed, absorbing the warmth of him, closing her eyes to focus on his mind caressing hers gently as he attempted to soothe the hurt.::
- He slowly let go and snapped his fingers as an idea came to him. Producing a lighter, incense burner and cone of jasmine from his yet-unpacked stuff. He took the cone in his hand and lit it, shaking it to produce only smoke. This was one of his techniques which often helped him relax. Incense lit, he went back to his tea. ::
- Lael sighed at the loss, having just gotten comfortable. She wasn’t doing anything wrong, really. Only her thoughts were sinful. The way she’d been clinging to him had been innocent, the way that a friend would draw comfort from another friend. So what if it was fodder for her cold nights? So what if she used fantasies to keep the loneliness at bay? So long as she didn’t act on them, the only person she was hurting was herself.::
- He raised his brow quizzically. ::
Skyfire: Out with it, darlin’. What’s botherin’ you?
Rosek: ::murmurs:: It felt nice...you holding me.
Skyfire: This tea tastes horrible cold. :: He finished it quickly before moving back behind her, pulling her into another hug. ::
- She hummed contentedly. He knew, she realized. But that didn’t stop her from accepting his touch. So long as she kept her touches respectful, she’d be fine. A hand squeeze here, a hand on a shoulder there...it comforted her, even if he didn’t return her interest.::
Skyfire: You going to be okay?
Rosek: ::smiles wanly:: You already asked me that.
Skyfire: It was a while ago so wanted to ask while there incense was burning. :: He smiled softly. :: How long would you like to stay?
Rosek: ::murmurs:: I don’t want to impose. ::studies her hands and murmurs:: I’m sure Alex will be by soon. Not sure I want to be here when he gets back. Wouldn’t want him to get the wrong idea.
Skyfire: Ah’ve nae asked him to move in yet, but yeh wouldn’t be imposin’. If you’re sure, ah can walk yeh back to yer quarters.
- In truth, she didn’t want to leave. Her quarters were far too lonely and she feared that, drunk or not, she’d seek the company of someone just so she wouldn’t wake alone. She’d ultimately regret it.::
- When she didn’t respond immediately, he moved to in front of her and knelt down at her feet. ::
Skyfire: Did Maddy come with you?
Rosek: ::nods and murmurs:: She’s staying with Dassa. Anjar is supposed to stop by to help out after his shift.
Skyfire: Do yeh need some company tonight? You can take the bed with Devlin and ah can crash on the couch.
- She recalled needing to do that for Chythar at one point. He’d been depressed at the news of Alex’s transfer on top of everything else that had already been going on. At the time, it had seemed a perfectly reasonable proposal. But that was before that near-disastrous night on the holodeck. Her gaze fell to the beagle. It wasn’t quite the same as Chythar holding her, but she supposed if she had a nightmare, at least someone would be there. And she’d be close enough to feel his thoughts and emotions. It was better than nothing. She nodded.::
- He nodded and stood up, refilling his mug of tea from the replicator again. While he couldn’t do much else to help, he could at least help her by being close by. ::
Lieutenant Lael Rosek HCO Officer USS Za I238110RH0
Lieutenant Chythar Skyfire Medical Officer USS Za O239002CS0