SIM:JP: Lt. Jackford Kolk & LtJG. Valis - A Little Cestus Festivus

Lieutenant
Jackford Kolk
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Chief Tactical Officer
USS Ronin
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NCC-34523

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Lieutenant J.G.
Valis
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Science Officer
USS Ronin
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NCC-34523

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Lt. Kolk attempts to enjoy a simulation of one of the
original
Enteprise's missions with "help" of LtJG. Valis.


Lieutenant Jackford B. Kolk & PNPC Lieutenant J.G. Valis - "A Little Cestus Festivus"
((Simulated Surface of Cestus III, Holosuite 1, USS Ronin - After Shift-Change, Stardate 238511.19))

Kolk: Captain's log, Stardate 3045.6. The Enterprise has responded to a call from Earth observation outpost on Cestus III. On landing, we have discovered that the outpost has been destroyed.

::Behind "Captain" Kolk, stood Dr. McCoy, Ensign O'Herlihy (Tactial), Lieutenant Kelowitz (also Tactical), Lieutenant Commander Lang (Tactical again), and Valis (as Commander Spock). They were standing in a large, scorched courtyard of the devastated outpost.::

Valis: Lieutenant, I do not see the logic behind reliving an event that happened one hundred and eighteen years ago.

::Jack turned back toward his "First Officer," annoyance filling his face. Her silly-looking mini-skirt uniform helped to soften his rebuke though; it was definitely not something Valis would wear.::

Kolk: Because it's fun, Valis!

Valis: Fun is illogical.

Kelowitz: ::looking a bit perplexed:: Your orders, Captain?

Kolk: ::still talking to Valis:: Look at it as a more interesting way to study history than reading logs and theses.

Valis: It would be much more accurate to simply watch a historical simulation rather than insisting on personal interaction.

O'Herlihy: I think I see something over there, Captain!

::The red-shirted ensign pointed and was almost immediately vaporized.::

Kolk: Valis! You were supposed to have picked up unidentified lifesigns before they killed the first redshirt!

::Soon, the unseen aliens began shelling the devastated courtyard in an attempt to kill the team they'd lured down from the Enterprise with faked subspace messages from Commodore Travers. "Captain" Kolk lead them over to a large crater which they ducked into for relative safety.::

Lang: ::shouting over the din of the explosions:: Sir, I respectfully object to being referred to as merely a "redshirt."

Valis: ::ignoring the holographic Lt.Cmdr.:: That merely proves my point. By participating in this fantasy, we've altered it and therefore have learned nothing of true history.

Kolk: I'm sorry, Mr. Lang. Please watch our flank.

::As Lang began to climb out of the crater, Jack's old-style communicator chirped, signaling an incoming message from the Enterprise.::

Kolk: ::sighing deeply:: Valis, it's your failure to participate that has altered the situation. If you weren't going to play along, why did you bother to come at all?

::Looking at her sideways and growing more annoyed by the second, he flipped open the communicator, which chirped some more in response. Simultaneously, Lang reached the crest of the crater and was instantly atomized. Before Jack could say, "Kolk here, go ahead," Valis distracted him from the simulation once again.::

Valis: I have been endeavouring to be more social, and your invitation seemed to fit that goal... at the time.

::Jack stopped, looking at her for a long moment. Bones, who was keenly aware of the gravity of the situation (despite the lack of corpses for him to lean over and say, "He's dead, Jack" about), looked as grumpy as always. Jack was beginning to see that she wouldn't let him have any real fun, but he wasn't going to let her get the last word.::

Kolk: What do you think, Bones?

McCoy: I think she's lost her marbles, Jack! People are dying and she's debating the logic of the situation! Typical Vulcan nonsense...

Valis: ::finally acknowledging at least one of the holograms:: I fail to see your reasoning, Doctor. Logic is hardly nonsensical. It is the very thing that makes space travel possible. Starfleet would never have even existed if logic and the pursuit of knowledge had not brought our people together and led us to explore the galaxy.

McCoy: Poppycock! It was your cursed "logic" that nearly kept Archer out of space!

::Jack turned away, trying desperately to hide his amusement at how Valis had unwittingly slipped into the role of Commander Spock despite trying very concertedly not to do so. Unfortunately, before he knew it, he was watching the last redshirt, the one who wasn't supposed to die, clamber up the short cliff and rush out to his doom. As the two blueshirts argued on, Jack shook his head and opened his mouth.::

Kolk: Computer, end program.

::The courtyard and the last remaining (and rather famous) original Enterprise crewmember faded out of existence. Valis turned, amidst the black and yellow grid, to raise an eyebrow at the Lt. whose long-discontinued gold Starfleet Captain's uniform had faded to reveal the standard, late-24th Century gold-accented Lt's uniform that he'd actually been wearing. Her own modern blue-accented J.G.'s uniform shone, no longer hidden by the holographic veneer as she did so.::

Valis: Why did you do that?

Kolk: Valis, you made us fail the mission.

Valis: Did I?

Kolk: You did. Without Kelowitz, you can't stop the bombardment. And without stopping the bombardment, you can't safely return to the Enterprise... I know, I've tried.

Valis: I am sorry, but Doctor McCoy was quite mistaken in his assessment of history. I could not let it go unchallenged.

Kolk: ::smiling and laughing:: God bless you, Valis. You're as fun to watch with Bones as the real Spock.

Valis: ::re-raising her eyebrow:: Indeed. Is that a compliment?

Kolk: ::chuckling:: It is... plus, ::smiling jovially:: you're definitely better looking.

Valis: Are you not... in a romantic relationship with Lieutenant Reed?

Kolk: ::laughing again:: Don't worry, Valis, I wasn't asking you out; just clarifying the compliment.

Valis: Ah. So... are we to continue with the simulation, or have you "studied" enough history for the evening?

Kolk: Touche... No, I've learned my lesson. I won't drag you in here again. How about the Double Shot? There's plenty of socialization to be had there.

Valis: A logical choice. Very well...

::Jack chuckled again and the two officers left the holosuite in search of real-life diversion...::

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"The Whole Kitten Cab-oodle"
Lieutenant Jackford Kolk
Chief Tactical Officer
USS Ronin NCC-34523
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"The Once & Future Tyrant, Part I"
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Lieutenant J.G. Valis
Communications Officer
USS Ronin NCC-34523
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