Mandany Rose/Personal Logs
The Personal Logs of Ensign Mandany Rose, Counselor Starbase 118
Logs for: 239008
New orders came in early this morning. The crew of Starbase 118 has been transferred to the new, lovely USS Excalibur-A. I am no engineer but I even I can tell this ship is amazing. The corridors gleam and there's an excitement in the air that permeates everything. Where before there were tried and true and subtle strands of energy there are now vibrant ones as a new time begins for this crew.
I can see it. I can taste it. And standing on the bridge as Captain Nicholotti gave the order to disembark was... well awe inspiring. That is not a thing I expected to experience on a ship or in Starfleet. Does that make me jaded? Almost jaded.
Not much surprises me any longer, but seeing the stars stream by when Excalibur jumped into warp, feeling the webs that connect all of us on this ship glimmer with new adventure, how can I not be excited?
Perhaps there's hope for me yet.
Life is an ebb and flow, some things move forward and some backwards. I can feel my tenuous control on my emotions loosening. I might call it stress and lack of sleep. Those are good enough reasons at the moment. Also add the copious cups of coffee I've had in the last 48 hours and my brain feels like it belongs to a schizophrenic.
I'm going to eat the bullet.... bite the bullet... How does that human expression even make sense? However, I am going to go to sickbay and ask for a hypo to help me sleep without nightmares. Maybe I'll run into Ensign Folds, a new medical officer, whom I have yet to meet. I think he's the only one... Ah, no. There's a science officer named Shedet who I also need to talk to.
Add to the list Doctor MacLaren who looked somewhat devastated at having to leave the Starbase, a follow up with Captain Walker, and also Lieutenant Silveira wished to schedule a meeting with me as well.
At least I won't be bored on the way to Agurtha.
A word to summarize the first full day of my life on Starbase 118: tiring.
I came back to the starbase at the start of a crisis. At first it was a welcome change from the boring dregs of politics and law that I had to deal with during the previous week with the trial on Earth (it was too boring to go into here again). I could never be a lawyer. With luck I’ll never have to be a judge. Maybe with time that’ll change. Time changes everything eventually.
The freighter the Astrolabe docked with SB118 for repairs. Then it exploded. Evidentially.
I spent most of the morning cleaning and moving junk from the suite assigned to the counseling department located in Tower Seven. Counselor Chibitsu and I had Commander Breeman fix the lights and a few other things.
The engineer seemed to appreciate the break from the chaos. I’m glad because I’m a poor hand with a screwdriver.
The most frustrating part of my day seemed to be my counseling session with Captain Walker. The man blames himself for almost getting MacLaren and Livingston killed on the crew's last mission. Almost, being the operative word here. They're still alive. I can understand blaming oneself for something... but... I am unsure how to proceed. I know what it is to lose family and friends because of an actual mistake, not some perceived mistake. Or a mistake that almost happened. Or a mistake that happened but turned out alright in the end. Actual death, relived whenever I close my eyes.
I apparently have no patience.
I was briefly assigned as liaison to the Astrolab's captain, Mimgar. A Benzite with a bad attitude I originally thought, but that turned out to be completely false as I found out early this morning. More on that later.
::Dany got up and paced her office. She stared at her mother’s painting of El-Auria for a long minute. Connections. The universe was connected in so many ways and in the most unlikeliest of places. Mimgar was one of those. She sighed.::
More on that now. I’m not going to do a blow by blow account of my day. If you’re reading this I refer you to the official log for details.
I want it known I consider Mimgar kin. I also want it known I consider him this for our shared experience of Cardassian prison, torture, and other unsavory events during the Dominion war. I also want the record, this personal record, to show that I commend what he did in light of that experience he had. I wish I weren’t so proper, so Vulcan, to be unable to take such actions on my own.
But time changes everything, like I said.
Oh, and I hallucinated Terani.
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