SIM:Skyfire:Sensitive Subjects
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(( Deck 18, Lounge ))
:: Chythar had invited Collim to a cup of coffee in the lounge, trying to work through a few issues he was having. Hopefully also get a chance to know her better, as they hadn't spoken at all except during briefings. ::
Skyfire: I tend to go through them at an alarming rate, and gone through three since I was posted under Captain Nicholotti on 118. :: Beat. He took a breath and began counting off a finger as he said each name.:: Ensign Chibitsu is probably still on 118 and hasn't answered any of my messages. Lieutenant Rose, no idea what happened to her after the Astrolabe incident. And then there's Ensign Taybrim. He was the first one out of the three that I actually liked working with, and I feel I got more sessions with him than the other two. He gave me your name just before he left for the Darwin. I feel like one of those foster children who keeps a list of every house they get thrown out of, except in my case it is counselors I go through. I don't want to begin sessions with Ensign Riverview and have her disappear on me before I figure out if we'll be seeing each other regularly. Catch my drift?
:: Kieran nodded slowly. There was a pause as the intel officer thought of her word choices. ::
Collim: I can understand why you would feel that way. You've opened up to them, which is never easy to do. You feel abandoned and, yes, you feel as if you've driven them away by sharing too much. Possibly even scared them off. Am I correct?
:: He nodded and sipped his coffee, taking a moment to swallow before attempting to reply. She had hit the nail on the head, much like Sal did. oO She reminds me of you, my friend... Oo A sigh escaped the medical officer, wishfully thinking. He was grateful his mother wasn't a meddler. Being deceased, that would be rather difficult. ::
Skyfire: Correct. Completely correct...Based on that, what can you be sure of?
Collim: What I'm sure, deep down, you know, them leaving had nothing specifically to do with you. Being shuffled around, sometimes on very short notice, is all part of being in Starfleet. Many times it's completely out of our control.
:: He nodded at that, realizing it's truth. All too well, he knew that pain. His mind drifted back to the housecall. ::
(( Flashback -- Chythar's quarters earlier that morning ))
SKYFIRE: Enter.
:: Once Sal entered the room, Chythar smiled softly. oO Ensign Taybrim. Making a housecall? Unusual. Oo He felt a bit relieved, but didn’t quite know what to say at first. After a moment, CD broke the silence. The formalities from the office were dropped, as he was in his room and not in the counselor’s office. ::
SKYFIRE: A pleasure to see you again, Sal. Can I get you anything?
TAYBRIM: No, I… I’m all right. ::his brows furrowed in worry. He has just spoken to CD about how difficult it was to lose two counselors already. It felt like a betrayal to him… to the crew, one that Sal wasn’t completely in control of:: I… wanted to come talk to you.
:: He sat down, swallowing hard and hoping his shields were sufficient for this meeting. ::
TAYBRIM: ::He clenched his teeth. Sometimes you just said the hard things without preamble:: Chythar… I’m being transferred. To a ship called the Darwin, as a science officer.
:: CD’s heart sank. His best friend Ryoji stayed behind on the base, to his knowledge. And hadn’t been responding. Then was Lieutenant Rose, who was the counselor and seemed to have disappeared shortly after the Astrolabe incident. Now Sal, whom he’d just gotten used to, was being transferred to the USS Darwin. He didn’t respond immediately, aside from taking a few deep breaths. His shields prevented most of it from getting through to his colleague, though there was a bit of pain behind his words when he finally found his tongue. It was a question, but one of confusion. ::
SKYFIRE: You’re leaving, then?
TAYBRIM: I was going to decline the transfer… but there are some extenuating circumstances. Some things I need to resolve. But I don’t plan on being a science officer forever. And my line is always open. We’ll be in touch.
:: Those words “We will be in touch” caused him to hope again. He felt like one of those foster kids who kept a list of all the houses they’d been thrown out of. In his case, it was counselors who had helped him and left with only one or two sessions between them. He wanted to able to form friendships, not get into a false sense of trust with one who vanishes without a word. He didn’t want that. ::
SKYFIRE: I would like that. I want your advice one last time before you go.
TAYBRIM: Sure thing.
:: CD took a breath and began speaking, unaware how guarded his mind was right now. ::
SKYFIRE: I’ve explained to you before about the turnover rate on counselors, right? How I get one or two sessions with one before they up and disappear?
TAYBRIM: ::biting his lower lip:: I keenly remember… It’s been eating at me since the first order came through.
SKYFIRE: The one thing that distinguishes you from the other two is you actually came to me and told me you’re leaving, the reasons for it, and said we’ll be in touch. I mean that as a compliment, by the way. :: Beat. :: I am starting to think I can’t trust them, because they don’t stay long enough for a friendship to form.
:: CD hoped that at the very least Sal understood what he was getting at, because he wasn’t sure what to make of it. He’d just gotten a promotion, he’d had his mind settled about things the night before, but an exercise in trust of this magnitude unsettled him more than his promotion did. ::
TAYBRIM: I honestly mean it, my line is always open. Science officer or not, CD… I’ll listen to you, advise you, tell you stupid jokes… whatever you need, and whenever you need it. I mean that. ::his voice was thick with fondness and pain::
:: CD thought about Sal’s words for a few seconds, trying not to let his own pain show through. He’d guessed something was going to be weird about today, but he didn’t expect this. As he blinked back his own tears, he looked to his friend and asked heavily ::
SKYFIRE: Will you come back?
TAYBRIM: If I have my druthers, once I serve my dues, I’ll come back here. ::he smiled faintly:: I mean that.
(( End flashback ))
:: He forced his mind back to the present and bit his lip again, letting a beat elapse before speaking once more. ::
Skyfire: I hope you don't mind me pulling you away from things to listen to me ramble...
Collim: ::smiling:: I don't mind at all and I'm willing to help out any way I can, even if it's just being a friendly ear to listen. As a matter of fact, I would like to very much. But you should still speak with Counselor Riverview. At least meet with her, tell her how you feel about this specifically and go from there. Deal?
:: He tensed a little, tightening his grip on his coffee cup. He had another sip of it, then gave a reluctant nod. He wasn't particularly in the mood to share with a fourth who was actually a counselor. This one was different; she was an intel officer. With a background in counseling. And actually said she was willing to help him. oO She may have a point. Oo He realized he'd been silent for a little too long. ::
Skyfire: Deal.
:: He took a sip of his coffee as she continued. ::
Collim: I'll let you in on a little secret. ::leaning forward with her arms on the table and her fingers laced:: It's just as hard on Counselors when we... they are shuffled around as it is on patients. They feel like they are abandoning those who need them. At least I did when I had to transfer but, like I said, it's often out of our control.
:: He nodded. The flashback of this morning was still fresh in his mind. The hurt he felt during his earlier conversation with his friend came back to punch him once again. He blinked a few times, his mental shielding fading as the emotions from before hitting him like a tone of bricks. ::
Skyfire: I know...Sal said basically the same thing...That he didn't want to abandon me...
COLLIM: response
:: At the mention of his shields apparently needing work, he bit his lip again and attempted to force the emotions from his mind. oO Blast it! Why in Dante's Inferno do I get all the empaths in the fleet!? First MacLaren, then Ryoji-chan, then Rose, then Sal...now Collim....Oo He tried keeping his thoughts to himself, but a brief flash of anger followed that thought. ::
SKYFIRE: I'm sorry...any tips or assistance you could provide on that subject, I would greatly appreciate it. Possibly...I don't know...help me construct better ones to resist setting off every empath on the ship?
COLLIM: response
:: He nodded and sipped his coffee, trying once again to re-focus his calm. He wasn't in much of a state of mind to do anything more, but he knew that this one lesson was something that would take the most practice. He listened, nodding carefully at appropriate points as she began his lesson. ::
COLLIM: response
(( Fast Forward -- Sickbay ))
:: Chythar had left Collim at the lounge, the both of them having work to do. He walked into Sickbay and made a note of who all was there: Folds, Brek, and Briskow. He gave a glance around and sipped his coffee, looking to the CMO. ::
SKYFIRE: You wished to see me, Doctor Folds?
FOLDS: response
:: Turning to the Ferengi, he nodded faintly in greeting. ::
SKYFIRE: Congratulations on your promotion, Commander.
BREK: response
:: He nodded and sipped his coffee again, looking to the both of them. His gaze came to rest at a point between them, as though addressing them both. ::
SKYFIRE: Is there anything specific I should be doing at the moment, or can help with?
BREK/FOLDS: response
:: He gave a nod and sat down, beginning to compose a message to the counselor with a good deal of reluctance. He was thankful that none of those present in Sickbay right now were empathic. He wasn't ready for another backlash from an empath.
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To: Ensign Riverview
From: Lieutenant JG Skyfire
It was suggested by someone else that I make an appointment with you -- and am doing so with a great reluctance. If you're willing to squeeze me in, I'll go into greater detail when we speak.
Thank you.
Lt. Skyfire
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He hit 'send' and looked around, wondering when they were going to arrive at the test site. ::
TAGS: Collim, Folds, Brek, Indirect: Riverview
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Lieutenant JG Chythar Skyfire
Medical Officer
USS Excalibur-A
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