Tasha's Prosthetic arm
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“This I'll Defend”
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| Crew of the USS Gorkon | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Lieutenant Tasha MacFarlane | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Due to injuries sustained on Stardate 239502.09 aboard Starbase 173 during the USS Gorkons Telutho'kai mission, Tasha's left arm is a prosthetic from the elbow down. She is yet to fully come to terms with this, and still feels occasional phantom pains in her hand.
The Prosthetic
Externally looks like a real flesh and blood limb
Internally, metal frame bone structure - Titanium alloy
Increased strength in the new hand
Fully connected to nervous system
Sensors in fingertips (like Data) linked to small chip implanted in brain.
The information from the sensors goes to the chip which then converts the information so that Tasha will (for lack of a better description) instinctively know what the sensors are detecting. This chip also helps with motor control over the hand.
Uses power cells to power the limb.
The power cells last for roughly one week before they need replacing, (sometimes last less due other factors, e.g. How often the sensors are used.). Power cells are replaced via a small “access panel” in the underside of the forearm. The "access panel" is visible as a faint square scar on the underside of Tasha's wrist
Susceptible to fail/malfunction from strong EM pulses and some forms of exotic radiation.
OOC NOTE: Due to the way missions and tags work, I have taken a few liberties with the dates.
Wound Received and Sickbay segment
Fire and Blood - 239502.09
Stone of Doom
Buttons
MacFarlane's Madness
Sickbay shenanigans
Rest and Recuperation
Counseling
The Pain of Loss - 239502.14
Part 1
((Counsellor's Office, USS Gorkon - Sometime between leaving Starbase 173 and reaching Palanon))
::Tasha nervously tugged at her sleeve, she had folded the end in such a way that it covered the stump that had once been her left hand. She took a deep breath and waited for her racing heart to slow before she pressed the door chime.::
::She stepped in as the door slid open. On first glance, it looked more like a comfortable sitting room than a place of work, with plush armchairs and a matching couch arranged around a low table. Pictures of spectacular dawns from a variety of planets were on the wall, and a traditional Igbo sculpture of a woman cradling a child was sat on one edge of the office desk in the corner. Tasha's eyes darted around the room, taking in all the details before they settled on the woman working at the desk, Lieutenant Isioma Uzoamaka.::
::The obsidian-eyed lieutenant had stood as soon as Tasha stepped inside, moving out from behind her desk.::
Uzoamaka: How can I help you?
MacFarlane: I...umm...Doctor Yiggtissi said I should seek out a counsellor...so…’ere I am.
::Tasha began to unconsciously pick at the lower hem of her jacket. She gave a nervous smile, she was sure Uzoamaka was a nice person, but Tasha felt slightly uncomfortable around counsellors.::
Uzoamaka: Why don't you take a seat?
::Tasha nodded and perched on the edge of one of the armchairs, as if ready to flee at the first sign of danger. Uzoamaka settled into one of the armchairs, crossed-legged and looking perfectly at ease, a PADD resting in her lap.::
Uzoamaka: What would you prefer to be called? Ensign MacFarlane, Tasha... something else?
MacFarlane: Uhh...Tasha is fine...a little less formal.
::She gave a nervous smile, and the counsellor echoed it with a gentle one of her own. The counsellor's voice was soft and as warm as her smile, and she spoke with a faded Nigerian accent.::
Uzoamaka: The first thing I always tell everyone when they walk through my door is that our conversations are confidential. That means I won't be telling the chief medical officer the details of what we discuss, nor the Admiral, nor anyone else, unless you want me to.
MacFarlane: Ok, thanks, I..err..don’t really think I want th’ too many people knowin’ what was said in ‘ere.
::Uzoamaka acknowledged that with a nod, but she didn't dwell on it, instead moving on to a direct question.::
Uzoamaka: So what's on your mind?
MacFarlane: I assume yeh know what ‘appened on one seven three? ::Tasha raised her stump and waved it around, while the counsellor nodded.::n’ how I...kinda...went mad f’ a short time.
Uzoamaka: I know what I've been told, but I haven't heard your experience of it.
MacFarlane: I...I lost my ‘and. It...it...my ‘and!
::She thumped the stump against her leg for emphasis, but Uzoamaka remained quiet, as though waiting for her to continue. Lost for further words, Tasha gestured at it, her mouth working, but no words coming out. After several moments she managed to force out a few words.::
MacFarlane: ::Weakly,:: It was my ‘and.
::The counsellor nodded, her expression kind and attentive, and when it became clear that Tasha had -- at least momentarily -- run out of steam, she spoke.::
Uzoamaka: Would you talk me through what happened?
MacFarlane: I...I…::Tasha took a deep breath and nodded:: aye, yeh know about th’ creature tha’ was involved? Well, it came out o’ th’ rift an’ straight through th’ isolation field. It was comin’ straight at me, and I thought it wanted t’ take me like th’ Seraphim did back in th’ nebula. I didn’t want that t’ ‘appen so I shot it, th’ beam went straight through th’ creature an’ didn’t even slow it down. It grabbed m’ phaser an’ it melted, I dropped th’ weapon an’ tried t’ run but it grabbed me. ::Tasha took another deep breath, her palm had become very sweaty and she could feel sweat on her forehead too.:: M’ arm caught fire, it pulled me an’ I fell t’ th’ floor. Then it grabbed me with both its ‘ands an’ pulled m’ arm off. Then it vanished back through th’ rift. I remember very little after that.
Uzoamaka: Why is that?
MacFarlane: I remember screaming...lots of screaming an’ pain, an’ fire, an’ blood ::Tasha shivered:: I dunno if its in m’ record, but I have a bit o’ a blood phobia. I vaguely remember tryin’ t’ ‘elp with th’ stone artifacts, but I ‘ave no clue what I did. Th’ first clear memory I ‘ave after…::she looked at her stump::...yeh know...was wakin’ up in sickbay an’ askin’ th’ doctor f’ some water.
::Every once in a while, the counsellor tapped out a few things on her PADD; short notes to refresh her memory when she wrote up the session later.::
Uzoamaka: That's quite common. Trauma of any kind can leave holes in our memories. ::She paused, then decided to elaborate.:: Some psychologists think it's the mind trying to protect itself.
MacFarlane: ::Tasha gave a small, sad smile:: Then I’m glad, I’m not sure I want t’ remember.
Uzoamaka: What's happened since?
MacFarlane: Well, doctor Yiggtissi said I shouldn’t work f’ th’ next week or so. I’ve been sittin’, bored out o’ m’ mind in m’ quarters mostly. Th’ doc said tha’ we would work on gettin’ a prosthetic replacement, so I did a little bit o’ research into those.
::Uzoamaka nodded, her expression soft and interested as she listened to Tasha speak.::
Uzoamaka: Tell me about that.
MacFarlane: Well, for a start there are several thousand different designs ::Tasha gave a small chuckle:: I could have a sample o’ m’ DNA taken an’ have a new left arm grown in one o’ th’ science labs. I could opt f’ a completely mechanical arm, of which there are hundreds of options. I will admit tha’ I find th’ idea of a mechanical arm intriguing although there were some ideas tha’ I said no to th’ moment I saw ‘em, I want it t’ look, more or less, like a flesh an’ blood arm.
Uzoamaka: It's important to you that you look no different.
::It was phrased as a statement, but there was a lingering question in the counsellor's words.::
MacFarlane: I...ah...people stare. I enter a room an’ they all look at m’ injury. If m’ arm doesn’t look different, they will ‘ave nothin’ t’ stare at.
::Tasha believed it was sound logic. If she looked like everybody else, with two fully functional arms, then the need to stare at her would cease. The counsellor, however, seemed less convinced.::
Uzoamaka: Do you think that's why they're looking? We are talking about Starfleet officers, who serve with a myriad of different alien species and have seen any number of strange and wonderful things.
MacFarlane: Aye, but th’ reason tha’ a fair number o’ ‘em joined was t’ explore an’ see unusual things. Its unusual t’ see an’ officer with only one ‘and. I think they are jus’ curious, but th’ starin’ still makes me uncomfortable, I don’t like it.
::Surely, Tasha thought it wasn’t their intention to make her feel uncomfortable, it just happened because they wanted to see how bad her injury was::
Part 2
((Counsellor's Office, USS Gorkon))
::After Tasha spoke, Uzoamaka was quiet and thoughtful for a moment. She took a breath, then looked directly at the Scotswoman, redirecting the conversation back toward her.::
Uzoamaka: What about yourself? What do you feel when you look in the mirror, as you are right now?
MacFarlane: I...err...I’ve been avoiding the mirror, I don’t like lookin’ at it, it starts hurtin’ again, but how could it? There is no hand there that can be hurt!
Uzoamaka: ::She nodded,:: It's more common than not. It's called phantom limb pain.
MacFarlane: Phantom? Yeh mean like a ghost? ::she shook her head:: but I have no ‘and, ‘ow can it still be hurtin’?
Uzoamaka: Mostly because our minds are complex and often illogical things. ::She offered Tasha a kind smile -- empathetic, rather than sympathetic. There was no pity in her eyes.:: What we've found is that the more coping mechanisms a person has, the less likely they are to experience phantom pain.
MacFarlane: Right, but why does it hurt? I know its all in m’ ‘ead, but tha’ isn’t enough t’ make it stop.
Uzomaka: In your case, I suspect it's because there's been a change in your body image that you're struggling to process. What you see when you look in the mirror doesn't match the mental picture you have of yourself, and that manifests as pain where the difference is.
MacFarlane: I see, so ‘ow d’ yeh think I can make it not hurt when I look at it?
Uzoamaka: You're here, that's a good start. ::She paused.:: But Tasha, we need to be clear on what's ahead. I can't promise any quick fixes. Phantom pain often begins to fade in the first six months, but some people find it can last years. What I can do is work with you to help you build some coping mechanisms, and I can prescribe some medications that might help as we work on that.
MacFarlane: ::weakly:: Years? I...I don’t want tha’. ::she shuddered:: Anythin’ an’ everythin’ yeh can do t’ ‘elp will be greatly appreciated.
::Uzoamaka nodded, her expression and voice kind, but very serious.::
Uzoamaka: I'll do everything I can, but you're the one who's going to be doing the hard work. ::She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts.:: Do you keep a personal log?
MacFarlane: I...err...no. Should I be?
Uzoamaka: I'd like you to, from now on. Make an entry at the end of your day; as much as you feel like, and it can be as little as a few lines. You don't have to share it with me, I just want you to read back through them before our sessions, and see if you can pick out any recurring themes or thoughts.
MacFarlane: Aye, I think I can do tha’, I’ve never really considered them, I didn’t see any reason I might need one.
Uzoamaka: Good. I'd also like you to try working with a mirror box. Essentially, it mirrors one half of your body while you run through some exercises, and it can help to reduce the phantom pains.
MacFarlane: A mirror box? Never ‘eard o’ it. But I shall take yer advice an’ make use o’ one.
::The counsellor nodded, lifting her PADD to make a few more notes. Now that they were getting to meat of choosing a course of action, she was making sure she had everything written down for reference.::
Uzoamaka: Would you like to try talking therapies on their own to start with, or do you feel you'd benefit from some medication as well?
MacFarlane: What kind o’ medication are we talkin’ about? Cos I ‘eard it was better t’ not use medication an’ let m’ body heal itself.
Uzoamaka: Heard from who?
MacFarlane: I...errr...I read it, somewhere, in one of th’ descriptions f’ one o’ th’ prosthetic arms. It said, allow yer limb t’ heal on its own first, dunnae take medication if at all possible.
::The counsellor was quiet for a few moments, her lips twitching a little as she thought through what she wanted to say.::
Uzoamaka: I would be wary of anyone who advises their clients like that. They may have the best of intentions, but they don't know your individual circumstances, and so it's impossible -- and quite frankly, unethical -- for them to provide any kind of medical advice. ::She paused.:: Particularly in cases of traumatic amputation.
MacFarlane: ::Tasha nodded, it hadn’t seemed like the most reliable of sources:: I understand, so what kind o’ medication d’ yeh suggest?
::Though she did her best to maintain a professional, unbiased demeanour, there was a brief flare of relief before she composed herself to answer the question.::
Uzoamaka: To try and manage the pain, there's a variety of different options. Anticonvulsants and antidepressants can be effective at managing the phantom pains, but they don't work for everyone.
MacFarlane: I understand, but if it helps t’ stop th’ pains, or even diminish ‘em, then I am willin’ t’ give it a go.
Uzoamaka: All right. I'll write you up a prescription. How about we schedule another session for a week's time, and you can let me know how things are going?
MacFarlane: Aye, Thank you Counselor. If there is nothin’ else, I will see yeh in a week.
Uzoamaka: And you're more than welcome to get in touch sooner, if you need to.
::Tasha stood and brushed a crease out of her trousers. She stuck out her good hand towards Uzoamaka, who shook it with a warm smile. While she wasn’t overly fond of meeting with counsellors, Tasha had to admit that the advice she had been given had been useful, and with any luck it would help with her recovery.::
Letter from family
Messages from home - 239503.08
((Tasha’s Cabin, Cloud Skipper))
::Having left the spa Tasha returned to her cabin. After letting herself in she dropped her towel over the back of a chair and slipped on a loose t-shirt. She picked up a PADD and lay back on the bed.::
::She activated the PADD and saw that she had received a letter while in the spa. She read the sender’s information and grinned, before opening the message.::
::TASHA MACFARLANE, WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE!!::
::Slightly taken aback by the opening line Tasha quickly checked the sender's information again, confirming that it was indeed from her brother. Perplexed and slightly concerned she continued reading.::
::Mother received a report from Starfleet and she immediately called me. She is too distraught to even think about trying to contact you. She cried for several hours and was still in tears when she contacted me.
What the hell did you do! We can’t get any information, something about doctor/patient confidentiality. All the report said was that you were “critically injured in the line of duty”. They won’t even tell us if you are alright.
It was worse when dad found out. He went into shock, I watched the blood drain from his face. He clearly feared the worst. He was shaking for hours and unable to form a complete sentence.
Please contact us as soon as you can, Starfleet won’t tell us anything, citing rules and regulations. Please, just let us know that you are alright.
Nicholas::
::Tasha dropped the PADD on the bed. She took a deep shuddering breath and wiped some tears from her face. She hadn’t thought of her family. She’d had no idea that they had been contacted and was furious that Starfleet hadn’t told them of her condition.::
::With another shuddering breath Tasha picked up the PADD and started writing a response::
::Hey guys.
Don’t worry, I’m still alive. I was injured on Starbase 173, my left arm was torn off just below the elbow by a creature from subspace. I don’t remember much after that until I woke up in the Gorkon’s sickbay. I am told that I went slightly mad for a time.
I am so incredibly sorry that I didn’t contact you earlier, I was understandably distracted. Coping with the loss of my arm has not been easy.
I have been trying to work through this with the counsellor, and I’ve been working with the medical staff to create a prosthetic replacement.
I am so sorry that you didn’t hear it from me first, it probably would have been better for everybody that way.
I assure you that I am fine now, and I promise to contact you immediately if anything else happens.
Tasha::
::With tears streaming down her face Tasha read over her letter. She knew that her mother would be heartbroken to hear of her injury. Her father would take it better, he had served in Starfleet during the Dominion War and knew of the dangers associated with being in the fleet. She wasn’t quite sure how Nicholas would react.::
::With a shuddering breath Tasha hit the send button and deactivated the PADD, tossing it to one side. With a groan of despair Tasha collapsed backwards and curled into a ball on the bed, quietly sobbing.::
New Hand
Preparing for a new hand - 239503.08
Programming the Prosthetic
I'm ready
Armed and ready
Whole again
Living with a new hand
His Legacy lives - 239503.09
((Tasha's Quarters, USS Gorkon))
::Tasha grinned, picking up the miniscule nacelle. She could feel each and every bump and imperfection in the material. Her new, cybernetic fingers were much more sensitive than her flesh and blood ones. The technology had been pioneered by Doctor Noonian Soong, and introduced to the federation through Data.::
::Soongs work in the cybernetic field had been one of Tashas main sources of inspiration during the construction of her prosthetic. She had reviewed technical information regarding Datas arms and read papers written about him. She glanced across the room to where a picture of Data now hung on the wall, holding a proud place between her Claymore and a model ship.::
::It was odd, Tasha wasn’t quite sure why she had replicated the photograph. As Tasha, and almost everybody knew, Data had been killed in 2379 aboard the Reman Scimitar. Yet Tasha felt that his legacy survived, most notably to her through the advances he had led in the field of cybernetics, and now through her left arm.::
::Upon returning to her quarters after the surgery one of the first things she had done was replicate the photo and place it on the wall. She felt it was her way of honouring him, and thanking him for what he had, indirectly, done for her.::
::She smiled and picked up a pair of small, delicate tweezers and a small brush. She used the tweezers to pick up the miniature nacelle and dipped the brush in a pot of glue. Working carefully Tasha attached the nacelle to the pylon then placed the finished model aside to dry. Once it was dry she would paint it, and then it would truly be finished.::
::Tasha heard a quiet meow as Spark jumped onto her lap and rubbed up against her, demanding attention. She smiled and rubbed his head, hadn’t Data had a cat too?::
Back to work - 239503.10
((Main Engineering, Deck 16, USS Gorkon))
::Tasha was whole again. She had two functioning arms and she was well rested, that meant it was time to get back to work. She had wandered into engineering to find a skeleton crew operating the ships systems. The majority of the crew were on shore leave, relaxing on the luxurious Cloud Skipper.::
::However Tasha had already been down there and now that she was in one piece again she had decided that she wanted to get back to work. She started off with a simple diagnostic of the core. It was slightly odd how such a dull task that was done so often was suddenly so rewarding after being away for so long. Tasha grinned as she worked, humming to herself as the diagnostic finished itself with a quiet beep.::
::She reviewed the data and was simultaneously pleased and displeased that everything was well within the accepted limits, she wouldn’t need to get her hands dirty with the core today. She moved on and ran diagnostics on the other major systems of the ship. It appeared that in her absence the other engineers had been doing a superb job, everything was within acceptable limits.::
::Tasha grinned at that. It was good, it meant that she would be able to play with whatever she wanted, to refine the ship and bring it closer to peak efficiency. She rubbed her hands together in anticipation as she studied the data before her. It appeared that the Plasma injectors were operating quite close to their acceptable limits. She tutted to herself, they would need realigning before long, she might as well do them before they became a problem.::
::She ran a second diagnostic, they seemed to be in working order, aside from the slight misalignment. Tasha started whistling as she worked, glad that she was back, doing what she loved.::
Honoured
The Purple heart - 239503.31
((Tasha’s Quarters, USS Gorkon))
::Tasha had decided to leave the celebration in the Wardroom early. It was a pleasant event, with good food, good drink, and good company. However it had all suddenly become a bit too much, Tasha had felt trapped and the need to escape, she needed some peace and quiet. So she had retreated to her quarters to mull things over with a bottle of Warp Core Moonshine.::
::She sighed and took another swing from the bottle, staring at the small boxes on the table before her. Three of them were identical, containing the ribbons she had been awarded, the fourth was slightly smaller, and contained the half pip that would identify her as a Lieutenant Junior Grade. With a trembling hand she opened the lid to see the small, innocent piece of metal staring back up at her.::
::With an unsteady hand Tasha picked up the half pip and pinned it onto her collar. It was odd that the pip was having such an effect on her. Tasha snorted and took a swig from her bottle, she had wanted a promotion, hadn’t she?::
::Yes, Tasha decided she had wanted this, but then why did it feel so wrong? Her eyes drifted to the other boxes. One by one she opened them, the Orion Syndicate Service Medal, the Innovation Ribbon, and the Purple Heart.::
::The Purple Heart, that was the source of these feelings. Tasha resented the small piece of purple and black fabric. It wasn’t so much the ribbon that she resented, but the meaning, what it would forever remind her of. The agony and terror of having her arm torn off and burnt, the struggle of trying to live with one arm, and the frustration at struggling to complete simple tasks. Tasha took another swing from her bottle as she felt tears gathering in the corners of her eyes::
::As if sensing that she was unhappy Spark mewed and jumped up on her lap. He rubbed up against her, ensuring he had her full attention before he dug his claws into her trousers and started sharpening them. Tasha winced as she felt his tiny daggers pierce her skin. Spark mewed in annoyance as Tasha picked him up. She placed the wriggling kitten on the couch beside her where he promptly curled up and went to sleep.::
::Tasha smiled down at her sleeping kitten, he was such an innocent creature, with no concerns or complicated feelings about Purple Hearts. She stroked his small head, causing him to stir in his sleep and press his head into her hand. She grinned and took another swig of her moonshine, only to discover that she had already emptied the bottle. She stood and went to fetch another bottle, then stopped.::
::Alcohol wouldn’t help. She knew that. She sighed and placed the empty bottle on the table. All alcohol would do would numb her, and the following morning she would have a hangover to deal with. She snorted and flopped back onto the couch. Spark looked up at her and mewed again, irritated that his sleep had been disturbed.::
MacFarlane: Aye, too damn true.
Call from home
Contact from home - 239503.31
((Tasha’s Quarters, USS Gorkon))
::Tasha started awake as her computer started chirping with an incoming call. Sitting up and rubbing her eyes she tapped the computer and accepted the call. An image sprang up of a middle aged woman who bore certain resemblances to Tasha.::
Natalie MacFarlane: Tasha? What ‘appened? You look terrible!
::Tasha groggily looked at her reflection in the screen. She had to agree that she did look terrible. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were bloodshot. She brushed a few loose strands of hair out of her face.::
Tasha MacFarlane: No ma, I was sleepin’.
Natalie MacFarlane: On th’ couch?
Tasha MacFarlane: Aye
Natalie MacFarlane: T-Tasha...w-what ‘appened...with yer ‘and?
::Tasha could see tears in the corners of her mother's eyes. This had clearly had more of an effect on her family than she had thought. She held up both of her hands so that her mother could see them.::
Tasha MacFarlane: I’m fine ma, see.
Natalie MacFarlane: ::she shook her head:: Yer letter said tha’ yeh ‘ad lost one! ::tears started spilling down her cheeks as she started sobbing::
Tasha MacFarlane: Ma...
::Tasha trailed off, she was sure that there was nothing she could say over the computer that would be able to calm and reassure her mother. Luckily she didn’t have to. In the back of the image on the screen she saw a door open and her father Robert enter the house. He saw Natalie crying and hurried over to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders::
Robert MacFarlane: There there, hush...it’s goin’ t’ be alrigh’
::Natalie nodded, struggling not to sob.::
Robert MacFarlane: Its good t’ see yer face Tasha, how are yeh ‘oldin’ up?
Tasha MacFarlane: I...I’ve been better...I...yeh read m’ letter I’m sure.
Robert MacFarlane: Aye, an’ yer arm?
::Tasha held it up again and waggled her fingers::
Tasha MacFarlane: Just as good as m’ ol’ flesh an’ blood one.
Robert MacFarlane: Tha’ ain’t flesh an’ blood?
Tasha MacFarlane: Nope, its a cybernetic prosthetic.
::She rolled her arm over, exposing her wrist, barely visible was a square scar, a few centimetres long on each side. She pressed on it and watched as a small panel opened up, exposing the inner workings of her arm. She carefully reached in and withdrew a small power cell. Almost instantly her hand went limp as it stopped receiving the energy it needed to keep going.::
::Her parents looked distinctly uncomfortable at the demonstration so Tasha quickly replaced the power cell and sealed it back in. She flexed her fingers as they came back to life.::
Tasha MacFarlane: See...not a problem
Natalie MacFarlane: Tasha...I...I...be careful now, yeah.
Tasha MacFarlane: Aye ma, I’ll do m’ best.
Robert MacFarlane: Aye, well, we won’t disturb yeh any longer, we’ll see yeh later.
::He reached forward to end the communication but Tasha quickly held up her hand to stop him.::
Tasha MacFarlane: DA! WAIT!
::She brushed some hair out of the way.::
Tasha MacFarlane: Notice anythin’ different.
::Natalie frowned, not seeing anything of significance different about her appearance. Robert on the other hand broke into a grin. He had served in Starfleet and had noticed the new half-pip on her collar.::
Robert MacFarlane: Lieutenant Junior Grade, well done Tasha.
Natalie MacFarlane: Lieutenant? Yeh got a promotion! ::A smile broke through her tear streaked face:: Well done!
::Tasha blushed slightly::
Tasha MacFarlane: Aye, only a couple o’ hours ago. ::she smiled at them:: Goodbye, I’ll try t’ call again soon.
::With that said she reached forward and terminated the call. She smiled to herself and stood. It would be much more comfortable to sleep in her bed than on the couch.::